A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Do you know his name?  

Elijah McClain. 

He gasps that he cannot breathe. 

He tells them his name, says he has ID but no gun, and pleads that his house is “right there.” 

He sobs, and vomits, and apologizes: “I wasn’t trying to do that,” he says. “I just can’t breathe correctly.”

Do you know his name? Do you know his story? 

I never knew his name or his story until June 24, 2020. My friend, a fellow Black writer and blogger posted an article about his story. And the picture on the article was of his last words and his face.  

RELATED: Please Love My Son Because the Rest of the World Doesn’t

As I read his story, my eyes filled with tears. I was filled with and continue to be filled with such deep, unabashed sorrow. I fell into the hole of the internet and absorbed everything I could about the young man whose name I had never heard.

I came across a picture of him playing his violin to the cats and dogs at an animal shelter and it just broke me. 

His smile is what captured me most. It was so full and honest. 

And then I hear his last words again. 

“I’m an introvert. I’m just different.”

And I fall apart all over again because I realized, I am looking at him as my son. 

My autistic son, who is so often described as different, quirky, and interesting. He talks to himself as he plays alone. Builds elaborate and intricate designs with his building materials. Hums and sings to himself when he gets anxious. 

Elijah is my son. 

RELATED: I Am Mama

He is the child of every unique needs parent in the world. He is the child of every parent whose child is quiet and shy. He is the child of every parent who describes their child as “different.” 

He is your son or daughter. 

As the rest of the world finally learns more about his case and people begin to shout “Say his name,” I am haunted by yet another hashtag. 

#JusticeforElijahMcClain
#AuroraPoliceDepartment
#SayHisName 

No one wants another hashtag. 

He was so much more than a hashtag. 

They were all so much more than hashtags. 

My children are so much more than hashtags. 

RELATED: Dear God, Let Hatred Be Overcome By Love

The news over the last few weeks has been filled with death, destruction, and anger. As more stories of brutality, systemic racism, and abuses are brought into the light. They are all bitterly familiar, in fact, their details have begun to echo each other.

You should be able to walk home, sleep in your bed, play in the park, jog in your neighborhood, look at real estate, have a BBQ, go to the store, drive to and from anywhere, wear a hoodie, and wear a mask without fear. 

RELATED: Black Mama, We See You; White Mama, We Need You

I am teaching my boys how to avoid being killed. I teach them how to comply. I teach them how to learn to live in a society that sees them as dangerous.

But I can’t teach them, and what I wish I could take away, is that there will come a day when they will stop being “different” and suddenly become dangerous. 

Because of the color of their skin.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Diana Loader

I am a USAF Veteran, now a full-time student and aspiring author. . . .as well as an okayish wife and mother. I have found a new passion for writing and helping families like mine. I have been married to my husband for 15 years, and he is Active Duty Air Force. We are raising two beautiful boys. Because of our family dynamic, and our oldest child's unique needs, we currently teach them at home. I am also a passionate advocate for women's health and rights. And I lead an initiative to provide free feminine hygiene products to homeless and poor women and girls. My downtime is spent outdoors hiking and walking, and I am also a voracious reader.

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

In: Living, Motherhood
Hannah Harper American Idol winner sings with her young son on her lap

By now, you’ve probably seen the posts flooding your feed: A young mom. Three little boys. A guitar strap embroidered with her children’s drawings. And a crown. When Hannah Harper won American Idol this week, moms everywhere erupted. And honestly? Same. There is something collective about watching a stay-at-home mom win on such a large stage. The celebrations have been pouring in. Moms, we can do it. She didn’t abandon her dreams. She went for it. And all of that is true, and all of that is worth celebrating. But I want to add something to the celebration. Not to...

Keep Reading

Watching Your Children Build the Life You Prayed For Is Beautiful

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Mother dancing with son at wedding

“I love you, Mom.” “Hmmm?” (A little louder) “I love you.” “I love you too…so very much.” I’d been deep in thought, listening to the lyrics we were slowly dancing to. I knew this moment of ours was supposed to be the time to say all the things, but this boy and I had already said all the things, so the song the deejay played—written by Lori McKenna and sung by Tim McGraw—enchanted our ears: When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you When the work you put in is realized Let yourself feel the pride but Always stay humble...

Keep Reading

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman and young daughter smiling

Editor’s note: This post discusses child loss Child loss changes Mother’s Day. My 19-month-old, Julia, died suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2024. Three months later, her autopsy revealed she had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (B-ALL, also known as SUDNIC). Julia died a week after we did an embryo transfer at an IVF clinic in an attempt to have a second child. We found out three days after Julia’s death that the embryo did not make it either. Six months later, we did another embryo transfer that succeeded, and I now have an 8-month-old daughter, Lucy Mei (“Mei Mei” means “little...

Keep Reading

If You Give a Mom a Bouquet…

In: Motherhood
Woman arranging bouquet of pink flowers on table

If you give a mom a bouquet… She goes to grab a vase to put it in. As she grabs the vase, she also grabs the duster because she knows the spot for the vase is probably dusty and she has guests coming for dinner. As she begins dusting, she notices the stack of books that needs to go back on the shelf. When she gets to the shelf, she sees the bendy action figures in battle formation that need to go back in the bin. When she gets to the bin, she spots the toy food that needs to...

Keep Reading

Here In the Liminal Space of Parenting

In: Motherhood
Woman in tunnel

It’s Friday night at 8:00. The intermittent snoring of an 80-pound lap dog is the only thing slicing through the silence of my home. It feels empty, and there is a stillness in the air. I have nowhere to be; there is nobody waiting to be picked up. I’m staring at the empty takeout boxes from dinner sitting on the coffee table. There was no need to cook a big meal; it was just the two of us, my husband and me, sitting together wistfully in this liminal space of parenting. It is the quiet place between an empty nest...

Keep Reading

Mothers Are the Givers

In: Motherhood
Mom embracing young daughter

As we were decorating the tree last Christmas, my son dug to the bottom of a box and pulled out a Snoopy ornament. He set it off to the side quickly and continued his rifling. But I noticed the faint crack along the red jukebox that Snoopy stood beside. In an instant, I was standing back in the kitchen of our first home watching my son wander in to ask, in the cutest toddler voice, if he could “pwess” the button on the ornament to play the music. With gleeful excitement, he pressed too hard. The ornament slipped from his...

Keep Reading

Hyperemesis Gravidarum Means I Survived Something No One Could See

In: Motherhood
Pregnant woman lying on couch with hand on forehead

My hands were trembling as I reached for the pregnancy test developing on the bathroom counter. It had been three months since we lost our second pregnancy to miscarriage, and I was cautiously optimistic that this was our month. My heart tried to leap out of my chest when I saw the two lines. Our rainbow baby had been conceived. Let me preface the rest of this story by saying I knew my pregnancy wouldn’t be magical. My pregnancy with my son, who was 22 months old at the time, hadn’t been, and the short weeks leading up to my...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

In: Living, Motherhood
Little girl looking in the mirror

It took me 39 years to like myself. I mean really, honestly look in the mirror and say, “You go, girl.” I understand the concept of progress, not perfection, but the idea of always working on myself became a tiring and unrelenting objective. Here I was shrinking that waist, smoothing my skin, studying hard, working way too late, and often burning the candle at both ends to yield results that were still less than the ideal. It’s all well and good to be a doer who sets reasonable and sometimes unreasonable goals, but throughout my teens and into my early...

Keep Reading

Soon There Will Be No More Breakfasts To Make

In: Grown Children, Motherhood, Teen
Ten boy eating breakfast at kitchen counter

T-minus 44 days until a new beginning- Math has never been my strong suit or my favorite subject, but it will be about 19 years spent rising and trying to shine in our house. Nineteen years of prepping one, two, or all three of our sons to get up and ready for school. Nineteen years of making breakfast. Nineteen years of making lunches. For those of you in the thick of it right now, you know exactly what I mean. I think my husband Steve and I have it down to a science now. If we had to do it...

Keep Reading

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother with three grown daughters

During my oldest daughter’s freshman year of college, I started being haunted by a recurring dream of an old-fashioned suitcase—one of those hard-sided ones that’s as big as they come. In the dream, when I open the suitcase, it’s overflowing with clothing, shoes, and all kinds of stuff that belongs to me and each of my three daughters. Everything in the suitcase is all jumbled together. Nobody else in the dream is worried about sorting through everything, but I am totally stressed about it. To top it all off, I have to deal with this suitcase while preparing for a...

Keep Reading