Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

I can’t count the number of times I’ve wished there was a guidebook for parenting. 

Sure, there are books about being pregnant and sleep training and raising toddlers, then big kids, then teens—but they don’t cover the important stuff. The most complicated stuff. The how to know what’s right or how to survive exhaustion or how to overcome the guilt stuff that comes with parenting. 

And if parenting on a good day is tough—parenting during a global pandemic is a straight up beast. The word hard doesn’t really even suffice.

To complicate things, the world (well, social media) is probably telling you what your days “should” look like. And those shoulds are often the exact opposite of what your heart and sanity are telling you to do. 

So in case you’re looking for direction and permission to breathe, allow me to say this:

Right now, the “right” way to parent is whatever helps you make it through the day. 

Read that again.

Shouldn’t you use quarantine to teach your kids how to cook a few meals from scratch? Or is it actually OK if you’re ordering in and letting your kids help you finish an entire pan of brownies in one sitting?

Whatever you need to do to get through the day.

RELATED: You Have Enough on Your Plate Right Now Mama, Don’t Add Guilt

Shouldn’t you take your kids outside and go on scavenger hunts for heart-shaped rocks and Rollie Pollies? Or are you allowed to plop the family down in front of the TV for a movie marathon . . . even though you binge-watched Disney+ just yesterday?

Whatever you need to do to get through the day.

Shouldn’t you take advantage of the time at home and do all the spring cleaning you’ve put off since, like, LAST spring? Or is it OK if you let the house get messier than ever and refuse to match socks?

Whatever you need to do to get through the day.

Shouldn’t you stay on track with your kids’ homeschool assignments so they don’t fall way behind? Or can you tap out for a few hours and take a break for the sake of everyone’s mental health?

Whatever you need to do to get through the day.

RELATED: To the Overwhelmed Mom Who Feels Like She’s Failing

Shouldn’t you cherish this uninterrupted extra time with your kids home—you know, enjoy every moment? Or is it OK if you’re going a little crazy and need to shut yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace? 

Whatever you need to do to get through the day.


You don’t need to impress anyone with your crafting or planning or organizing or fun-making or optimism or . . . anything, really. 

Your main goal when you wake up each morning should just be to get through the day.

Please note that I’m not telling you to blindly rush through, though, because some of these days are actually going to be really beautiful. 

But on the days that are especially tough, it’s okay to just get by. This is not the time to let shoulds and guilt dictate your life. 

Wash your hair today—or don’t. 

Do some puzzles with the kids—or don’t. 

Make a healthy meal for dinner—or don’t

Curl up on the couch and watch movies—or don’t. 

RELATED: I’m Tired of Going to Sleep Thinking, “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow.”

Remember that you know your family best. Love them in the way that only you can, and hold on tight to each other as you navigate this crazy, unpredictable season. 

There is no guide to pandemic parenting, and it is so dang hard—but it turns out your mama heart is a pretty good compass.

Take a deep breath and let it lead.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Casey Huff

Casey is a middle school teacher turned stay-at-home-mama to three littles. It's her mission as a writer to shine light on the beauty and chaos of life through the lenses of motherhood, marriage, and mental health. To read more, go hang out with Casey at: Facebook: Bouncing Forward Instagram: @bouncing_forward

You’re Learning Life by Watching Me

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child touching mother's face as they lie on a bed

Every morning my daughter and I go outside for some fresh air. She feeds her chickens and plays and explores and walks around with her dog while I follow her around and have a cup of coffee.  This morning, my girl grabbed one of her coffee cups from her toy kitchen and brought it outside with her while she walked with her dog and pretended to take sips out of it.  Guys. I stood there watching her with her toy coffee cup, walking around with her animals, and I cried giant baby tears.  RELATED: I Wasn’t Counting On You Growing...

Keep Reading

The Isolation of Motherhood

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mom sitting beside stroller, black and white image

During my early years of having children, I can recall feeling like I needed more help with juggling—taking care of my little ones and our home. Although my mother-in-law was only a 10-minute drive away, she was preoccupied looking after my nephew and nieces. Awkwardly, I would only ask if it was really necessary—like a doctor’s appointment or the dentist. Even at church, it was difficult to ask for help—either we didn’t know certain members well enough to entrust our kids to their care or they were friends with children too and that hardly seemed fair to burden them. The...

Keep Reading

What Happens to the Mamas When Their Children Are Grown?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Five children walking hand-in-hand, color photo

A friend came up to me the other day after church and commented, “I’ve never seen you alone. I had to make sure you were okay.” It’s true. I’m never alone. I usually have one or two children hanging onto me and three more milling about with my husband close. But at that moment, my husband had stepped away to collect the younger ones from the children’s service, and my older two had run off with their friends. I was standing alone. And as I stood there, one thought crossed my mind, “This is what it will be like when...

Keep Reading

Hello Midnight

In: Motherhood
Mother in child's room at night

Hello again, Midnight. I wish I could say I was happy to see you. My, what a journey we have had together over the years. I must admit I thought we started out as friends, but as we meet these days, I sense an unkindness about you. Our journey began when I was somewhere around 12. Sure, I had met you in passing on occasion in years prior, but it wasn’t until now that I sought out your companionship. Some middle school girlfriends and I stayed up late, feeling rebellious against bedtime. We were fascinated by the way the world...

Keep Reading

Please Don’t Ask When I’m Having Another Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood
Pregnant woman standing lakeside, color photo

We’ve all been asked it. Maybe once, maybe more times than we can count. Maybe we’ve even asked it ourselves, “When are you trying for baby #2?” It seems harmless, and most of the time it probably is. Pre-baby me never even stopped to consider that it was anything other than a curious, sometimes nosey, question to ask. The mom version of me today feels a completely different way. It’s now deeper and more complicated than it seemed in the past. The mom in me struggles every single time I’m asked this. Struggles to come up with an answer. Struggles...

Keep Reading

I Am a Wrestling Mom

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three young boys with wrestling medals, color photo

As the sun is rising on a frigid winter morning, a brave and determined group of athletes are weighing in at a high school gym. They are physically and mentally preparing for a long day spent at a tournament where they will spend only minutes wrestling, despite the hours they sit and wait all day. Their sport uses offense, defense, and mental strength unlike any other sport. My sons and nephew are wrestlers. They are part of a special team of athletes who work together but compete as individuals.           Their youth team is run by all volunteer coaches with...

Keep Reading

3 Ways to Help Your Firstborn Embrace Becoming a Big Brother

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood, Toddler
Pregnant woman holding toddler son, color photo

My oldest son turned four right after his first brother was born. Four years of alone time with his parents. Four years of extra mommy time during the week. Four years of having toys to himself, extra attention from family members, and more. I didn’t plan a four-year age gap; it took our family a lot longer and a lot more help than we expected to have our second son, but age gaps aren’t everything. When my second son was finally on the way, I heard a lot of opinions about how our oldest son would feel once he finally...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Going through a Divorce

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman holding young girl outside, blurred background

To the mom going through a divorce: you can do this. I’ve been where you are, staring at a mountain of changes and challenges that felt insurmountable. The crushing ache of divorce, of family disruption, of building a new life, and helping my son through it all seemed endless and impossible. But eventually, I made it through to the other side, and I want you to know: the pain won’t last forever.  The first year following a divorce is an overwhelming puzzle of putting your life back together. And when there are kids involved, there is so much more to...

Keep Reading

Dear Busy Sports Mom: It’s Worth It

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Mom watching soccer game, photo from behind

My daughter stands on the front porch every morning and waves goodbye to me as I pull out of the driveway to go to work.  She is 11, and recently eye-rolling, long sighs, and tears have become more commonplace in our daily interactions. But, there is also this: “Bye! Have a good day!” she calls to me in the quiet of early morning, neighbors not yet awake in their still dark houses. “You are AMAZING! You got this!” she continues in her little adult voice, sounding more like a soccer mom than a fifth grader.   Her hair is still a...

Keep Reading

To My Son at 12

In: Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Young boy on a baseball diamond, color photo

My son, you are 12 years old. You are a young boy in the last days before you become a young man. You are a boy fully realized, having reached the summit of childhood. You can read fat books, catch fly balls, and ride your bike to your friends’ houses. You still get excited about Pokémon cards and Nintendo games. You still want LEGO sets for your birthday and Christmas even though you enjoy them more for the building and delight of owning them than for the playing.  You still wrestle and sword fight with your little brother. RELATED: My...

Keep Reading