Faith Journal Motherhood Relationships

My Husband Forced Me into Homemaking and I’m Forever Grateful

My Husband Forced Me into the Homemaking and I’m Forever Grateful www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Bailey Suzio

I am not a part of the class of women who, for generations, like their mothers before them, are homemakers. I initially resisted this but my husband was quite insistent. He pushed and persuaded and eventually, I gave in. I left the house-making plans behind, and I attempted to make a home.

A few weeks after Hubby and I started dating, I knew I was madly in love. It caught me suddenly. We were hanging out with a church group – sitting around, making small talk. There was a young man who was mentally impaired. He was hard to talk to. He was kind and everyone was polite but he was excruciatingly detailed in everything he said. If you asked about his day, you needed to prepare for a 15 minute play by play. I tried to go out of my way to be kind, but often, I could only muster up a question or two.

On this particular evening, Hubby met this man and we sat and talked with him. For two hours. As I watched the evening unfold, I knew I wanted to marry this man who loves people and was willing to pour into their lives.

Flash-forward to our wedding and move to Hawaii. I was eager to set-up house. I began hanging pictures and setting up my display of china tea cups. I imagined lovely little tea parties with cute little sandwiches and intricate cookies.

Our first guest, single young men in the military, stayed several hours later than I anticipated. So did the next ones. Pretty soon, people were just “popping by” unannounced and staying for dinner. Sometimes they brought friends. It was more than I could handle. People were welcome in our house, but I wanted them to come in nice little, two-hour dinner boxes. Not for hours on end.

“The door to our home is always open.”

That was the refrain my husband kept echoing. But I resisted. I wanted my things to be separate. Our three bedroom house was ours. Eagerly, I grasped for control over every inch of it.

Ignoring the loneliness and missing family dinners and gatherings, I persisted in my control.

But our house, Hubby wanted to make it a home. And he recognized what I didn’t – that the difference between a house and home is the sharing. So share we did.

Playing the begrudging hostess soon blossomed into true fellowship. Choosing to listen to this wisdom and opening the door to our home was one of the wisest decisions I ever made. It cost me time, energy, and emotion, but in return, the love was overwhelming.

Love was living life and opening our doors and hearts and letting others into it. It looks like a full table and riveting conversation. It looks like people stopping by to take out the trash and change my car oil when Hubby was deployed. The comfort and joy of having rooms that we empty, filled with people and memories.

A good friend stopped me in my tracks last year when she reminded me that, at the final judgement, Jesus will not ask if the laundry was done.

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” – Matthew 25:35-36, ESV

Opening our home is one of the most Christian things we have ever done. It’s been sacrificial. It’s taken time and energy. People knock when we want just sit and watch TV, so we invite them in to join us and make popcorn.

About the author

Bailey Suzio

Bailey Suzio’s journey started out in Michigan, where she grew up as the oldest of 10 (yes, ten) children, and has led her to Hawaii with her husband and their two dogs. She has greatly enjoyed this opportunity to explore the history and culture of the Hawaiian islands. In addition to her love for the Lord and her family, her great passions are coffee and collecting an exorbitant amount of books. Bailey has spent the last few years teaching and working with a local church. She writes at http://thethinplace.net/ about her life, faith, and infertility journey.

15 Comments

  • This was very sweet! Our home is one where everyone seems to gather knowing they’re likely to get some good food, lot’s of laughs, and more than likely a good word. 🙂 I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    • I want to come to your house! I think my house is also (I hope!) a place for good food, laughs, and encouragement. It’s amazing how the little things add up into great amounts of joy.

  • My parents live in hawaii and I am heading there to stay with them while my hubby is in Korea! Anyway It can be so hard to feel a loss of control over a situation! But I long to be the home where everyone wants to be! When we have kids that is the type of mom I want to be!

    • Military family? It’s lovely here! I hope you enjoy the sunshine. But yes, it is especially hard to be far away, especially when your husband is gone. I am glad you have your parents here.

      I would encourage you to take advantage of your kid-free time to open your doors now. I am so grateful I did. A friend reminded me recently that there is never a perfect time, we just have to jump in where we are and love people as much as we can. <3

  • This is such an awesome perspective. I’ve had to force myself into similar situations and it really does build relationships.

  • I really enjoyed this post! I wasn’t sure what to think when I clicked on it, but I agree that filling your homes with love and sharing that love with our neighbors and friends is one of the best and most rewarding things we can do. Your husband sounds pretty awesome!

  • I love this! Opening our home to peoples is something that I have always wanted to do better. Sadly I have allowed all sorts of excuses to get in the way, not the least of which is the fact that the house is a mess….we’re talking 6 people and 2 boxers messy. But life is messy…and I can’t let that get in the way of showing Christ’s love through hospitality. I need to let go of the excuses…the mess, the weariness, the need for “me” time…and embrace the gift of sharing our home with others. Thank you so much for this reminder!

  • This…is absolutely perfect today. I’m struggling with the same thing, and it is so hard to remember how important this all is. We are in the midst of a fertility battle, and I’m struggling with whether or not to leave my job and stay home next school year, with or without a child. This is not where I thought I’d be, but maybe it’s where I’m supposed to be. Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to make a home for everyone!

    • I have struggled so greatly with this but God is so good. I am also in the midst of a fertility battle (I’ve written lots about that here and also on my personal site) and I just keep reminding myself that I can be a placemaker for others no matter my status.