My mama was a kind woman. She would do anything for anyone at any time. She had a heart of gold, and she wore it on her sleeve. That’s probably where I get it from—a blessing and a curse all at once. She was compassionate and showed love like no other, but she was also fierce. She fought for the people she loved, and she did not back down. She taught me how to love, but she also taught me how to be a fighter.
I watched her as a single mother. She showed me you can do it all on your own if you have to. You shouldn’t have to, but there will be times when you do. She fought so hard to give me everything. I watched her raise a bratty teenager who refused pictures and told her no. She fought. On those days, the hardest.
I watched her date; there was never a soul good enough for her. Never anyone who could see that she was the sun, the brightest light in everyone’s dark world. She fought.
I watched her do her job with such precision. She took pride in what she did and gave it her everything. She fought.
I watched her battle her own trauma and never lose her faith even when it felt like her back was against the wall. Even on the days I know she felt alone, she fought to stay with me. I watched how she handled things as this world and the people in it let her down. She taught me that when people show you who they are, you should always believe them, and sometimes that will be the hardest fight you ever face.
When she got sick, that’s when the real fighter came out. She fought so long to hide that something was wrong. She never wanted to be a burden to anyone. She never wanted anyone to know she didn’t have it all figured out.
She fought as we visited specialist after specialist and therapist after therapist. She fought back tears as we exited another appointment with no answers. She fought to remember how to draw the clock in the doctor’s office and how to remember the three words he gave her when she walked in the door. She fought the hardest to show me that she was okay.
She fought until she couldn’t. Watching her fight for my entire life is no doubt something she knew I would need to live without her. I would need that fight to carry on in a world she is no longer in. On the days when I am missing her the most, I put on my fight face, and I show the world who she made me—a fighter.