I often wondered what my relationship with God would be like after I had kids. How would I have uninterrupted time to spend with Him? How would I be able to sit through church with a crying baby? How would I have time to serve when I was consumed with taking care of my family?
I worried God would become less of a priority when I had so many urgent things right in front of me demanding my attention.
Many of these questions proved to be true in this season of my life with little ones. I do not have much uninterrupted time in a day with Him, but that does not mean I do not fit in time with Him when I have a moment here or there throughout the day.
I often do not get to sit through a whole church service as I run after my toddler or nurse my baby, but I hear bits and pieces of the sermon and other aspects of worship that minister to my heart.
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I may not be able to serve Him in the way I used to, but He has placed many serving opportunities right in front of me whether they are in my own family or in the lives of others He has placed in my path.
My relationship with God looks very different than it did when I was younger and childless.
There are things I miss about our relationship, and I think I will have time for those things again, but in so many ways, our relationship is deeper and more fulfilling.
I may not have the time I used to have with Him (and I do long for that time again), but I have experienced so much grace from Him showing me I do not need to earn a relationship with Him.
He has shown me through my children how much He loves me. As I look at my children and delight in every little detail of their being, I imagine Him doing the same as He looks at me.
And He has shown me what His strength can accomplish in my weakness.
As a mother, I often have to put my needs last, and there are many days when I am sick or exhausted that I have to rely fully on Him to get me through the day. And He never fails to sustain me.
And while I may not have soul-quenching hours of quiet time or time spent journaling or worship services when I am fully wrapped up in Him, I do have a beautiful relationship with Him in this season.
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And while I am looking forward to the next season of being with Him more, I will treasure this time when He has met me in such unspeakable, comforting ways, and I will thank Him for being so patient and gracious to this tired, busy mama of little ones.