These last few weeks I have been drowning. Struggling to stay afloat enough that every time my head came up for air, I didn’t have time to even yell for help, just enough to gasp for air before being pulled under again to keep treading water.

Balancing all the aspects of life we are supposed to magically balance on top of a pandemic, running a business, renewing my social work license, an ER visit, and doctor’s appointments . . . and also, wear a mask, and make the right choices for everything in this unprecedented situation, AND you can’t please everyone but you should try to. Also, you probably won’t have enough of yourself to go around but keep trying until you crash-hard.

Can anyone relate?

I had a sweet friend who took my kids for me for two hours last week, and it was basically the life raft I needed to swim to shore. Tired, but alive. Thank the Lord for friends who just know when you need a break.

One day I was in the middle of trying to use my mom voice to make the kids pick up the house and save a scrap of my sanity when my thoughts begin to weigh on me.

Your kids don’t do enough around here. I bet everyone else’s kids pick up without having to yell at them.

Your kids do too much around here. What kind of childhood will they grow up remembering?

You need to be reading to them more.

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Make sure you are playing with them, make those memories. But not too much. They need to be independent.

What kind of mom can’t keep a house and raise kids without a smile on her face?

Man, I have got to get those photos to that client this week.

You know the thoughts. The thoughts that make you realize you don’t have anything left to give.

Just then my son walks up to me and says, “Mom, I was just in my room praying. I was asking God for the good things we have been talking about. I asked Him to help me be good, and to obey, and to be kind to my sisters. I sure hope it works.”

I stopped right in my tracks and took a deep breath. We had done ONE hurried devotional during breakfast last week about asking for things that are good and God will give them to you.

One five-minute conversation and God was gracious enough to help that take hold in my son’s heart.

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I look around at my kitchenthe photos that needed to be edited, my kids, my greasy hair, my husband asking for my time, my friends who need to be checked on, and my Bible on the tableand wonder how in the world I could give any more?

Then I remember that small conversation with my son. I remember the five loaves of bread and two fish that Jesus multiplied into math that would never make sense to us. I thought about the stories of when people needed to be fed and Jesus simply asked, “What do you have?” And then He used WHATEVER amount they handed Him to be more than enough. Even if all they had in their pocket was crumbs.

Jesus can use your crumbs.

Jesus just asks that you hand them over. Just asks that you are willing to share.

I could feel myself reaching into my pocket and pulling out mere crumbs and laying them at His feet, asking, “How many will this feed? Can you bless my friends and family with just this?”

You don’t have to provide a banquet of food.

Come as you are, with what you have.

God shows up in big ways, not because we are doing something spectacular, but because He honors our giving to Him.

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You could never bring too little to a table where Jesus was in charge of dividing out the portions.

My kitchen is still dirty and some of my to-do list is still undone, BUT, I am handing over the crumbs to watch what happens.

I hope this can encourage you to do the same, sweet friend. 

Amanda Kennedy

Amanda Kennedy is a mom of three kids, ages five and under. She lives in Missouri, is a licensed Social Worker, but mainly only remembers which sippy cup is her kids' favorite anymore. She spends most of her days making food, changing diapers, and staying up way too late watching TV with her husband. Writing about the chaos of motherhood and the grace God gives her in each day helps keep her sanity.