So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

Originally posted January, 2015.   

People used to ask me if my sister was married. “No, she’s too busy.” “She’s career focused.” “She hasn’t found the right person.” At the age of 41, my sister did find the right person. When I saw a beautiful diamond engagement ring immediately when they arrived at Christmas, I jumped on it right away! Finally, my sister is getting married!

My sister has been in a committed relationship for 10 years with a person I used to introduce as her roommate even as recently as year ago. “She’s my sister’s roommate.”  “Her best friend.” I’m not exactly sure how or when I discovered her roommate was her companion, her “partner” (a title they both despise but girlfriend seems so juvenile). I do know there was never a big coming out. She’s never been into labels so I’ve never heard her say “I’m Gay!” “I’m homosexual.” “I’m a lesbian.”  But, I’m just as happy for her marrying her best friend as if she were marrying a “hetero.”  The thing is…it really wasn’t until there was a ring, that I could finally label them as a couple.

I was so honored to be the first person to share in their engagement news. I had the privilege of ring-shopping with the happy couple at a local antique shop since my sister didn’t have her own engagement ring yet… so far only her “roommate” had a sparkly diamond. I  shared in their first toast as an engaged couple, attempting a selfie and settling for another person to take our picture that showed the happy couple showing off their combined bling next to my own hand with my anniversary band. I was there when they told my husband… “We’re engaged.” His reply was a high-pitched “Ohhhhh” and a sarcastic “So, you’re together?”  Our 4 year old wasn’t even phased. He kept playing with his toys.

We had some uncomfortable awkward moments after the big reveal that they were engaged. Like telling our parents…we plotted, schemed, joked, and then of course finally told our mom and dad, separately. Our usually enthusiastic, over the top mom was thrilled, likely because she too can finally classify their relationship. Our straight-laced, conservative dad had an expected reaction, he’s adjusting. He’s always allowed us to live our own happily ever after.

I finally had the nerve to ask questions I’ve wondered for 10 years, my sister answered some but not others. These questions would swim around in my head after a visit then I would drown them out until the next time. I apologized that I was so naive and sheltered – she called it unassuming. I told her I was mad that she just let me think what I wanted and didn’t volunteer her relationship status. I stomped my foot a little, had an itty bitty little sister tantrum because sisters are supposed to share secrets! I decided to share my own dirty little secret to prove my own point – not sure she wanted to know that I lost my virginity to her arch nemesis. Touché.

We celebrated with friends while my sister was here; friends who’ve asked and assumed in the past about their relationship. They were all very excited. I texted a picture of the rings to my closest girlfriends hundreds of miles away. Everyone is genuinely excited.

The biggest question was “When is the wedding?”  A few years ago, we wouldn’t have even been able to ask this question unless we lived in another country. Legally, my sister can only get married in 35 states, which does not include our home state of Nebraska. (shhhh…apparently there are no gay people in Nebraska). I mean, let’s reminisce other ridiculousness. Only less than a century ago, the 19th Amendment prohibited states from denying people the right to vote based on gender and less than 150 years ago, the 15th Amendment prohibited states from denying people the right to vote on the basis of race. Voting and marriage go hand in hand. It is about civil rights, humanity, fairness and equality. So why are we still prohibiting people who are in a committed relationship from getting married? Because God, Jesus, the bible, because people think it is icky? I attend church nearly every Sunday, I’m fairly traditional and my church has proudly welcomed same-sex couples to get married, LEGALLY! In 100 years, our heirs to this beautiful country founded on freedom, will likely look back and think “prohibit same-sex marriage?…that just seems silly.”

So, next New Year, we will be gathering to celebrate two-people who are in love. There will be candles, flowers, pretty dresses, cake, a ring bearer and flower girl (I insisted!), and I can’t wait. In the meantime, I can finally and proudly introduce my sister’s roommate…as her fiancé. 

“…And the greatest of these is Love” 1 Corinthians 13:13

For more information, check out:

http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/

 

feature image source

Guest Writer

Her View From Home wants to help share your story. If you are interested in becoming a guest writer on Her View From Home, please email us at [email protected]

Jesus of the Rock Bottom Rescue

In: Faith, Living
Sad woman sitting on floor

Have you ever hit rock bottom? I have and it was the scariest place I’ve ever been but that’s where I found Jesus. Where I truly encounter the Holy Spirit and the healing power and life He can give. I was raised in a Christian home by good parents that would have given their lives for me. I was raised in the church and loved by my church family. I enjoyed going to church as a child and I loved Jesus my whole life. At the age of 8 years old I asked Jesus into my heart and was baptized....

Keep Reading

While I Wait for Another Door to Open, I’ll Hold One For Someone Else

In: Faith, Living
Woman teaching another woman by computer

I’m waiting for another door. All my life, I’ve been told that when God closes one door, He opens another. And here I am, staring at the imminent end of the business I’ve built from nothing. Closing down what I started up from sheer willpower, too much caffeine, and the bold determination to work for myself. Scratching out what I made from scratch . . . and it feels horrible. God didn’t just close this door. He slammed it shut, boarded the whole thing up, and hammered the nails in where I cannot pry them open. Believe me. I’ve tried....

Keep Reading

Separating Work From Home is a Must For Me

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom with baby smiling

If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 11-year-old boy with his pale feet sticking out from under the blanket, on his way to the morgue after a gun accident.   If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the still, blue form of the 3-month-old who passed away in his sleep. We gave CPR and all the medicines “just in case,” but that baby was gone long before his caregiver brought him in through the door. If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 3-year-old...

Keep Reading

When Teens Are Hard to Love, You Love Them Harder

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy sitting with hood up

I lay face down on the floor, praying. Praying in the loosest sense of the word. Praying in the Romans 8:26 way—you know, when the Spirit “intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Because I could not utter any actual coherent thoughts at that point. I was weary and beaten down. Day after day I had been in combat, battling an opponent I didn’t anticipate: one of my children. My own child, one of the people I had lovingly grown inside my body and loved sacrificially for all these years, had staunchly and repeatedly put himself in opposition...

Keep Reading

In This Stage of Marriage, it Feels Like We’re Roommates Who Share the Same Kids

In: Faith, Marriage
Distant couple on phones in bed

How do you get it back? How do you get back the love you once had? Everyone told me marriage was hard and having kids was hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I thought everyone was lying because our relationship was solid before marriage. We were best friends. Some days I feel like we’re roommates who share the same kids. It disgusts me even to say that, but it’s the truth. Marriage is hard and has ugly sides to it that everyone seems afraid to talk about. RELATED: Keep Showing Up Even When Marriage is...

Keep Reading

You Are the God of Details, but God These Details Don’t Make Sense

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Window open with shutters

That was not the plan. What just happened in there? We walked out a bit defeated. More than a bit. I felt deflated. Things were supposed to be different by now. This wasn’t what I asked for or expected. This wasn’t even what they told me would happen. We cross the street in silence. Headed to the car and as soon as I shut the car door, I could no longer hold it in. I let the tears flow. All this unknown. I don’t understand. This is life. This is foster care. This is what we chose. That doesn’t make...

Keep Reading

I Am a Good Enough Mom

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother kissing toddler

I came to motherhood knowing nothing about the job. My mother’s example wasn’t an example at all, more of something to forget, and maybe even get therapy for. My own son was the first newborn I’d ever held. When I became a mom, I was 23 and clueless.  Because of my personality, I wanted to do everything right and parenthood was no exception. I read all the books on parenting I could. I talked to older moms and soaked up all the advice they gave me. Having no idea what I was doing made me look to outside sources to inform...

Keep Reading

God’s Plan For Me Wasn’t What I Expected

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman walking with children silhouette

I grew up in a family where we knew who God was. We went to church, and we were involved in church. However, when we weren’t at church, time spent in the Word fell to the wayside. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were wonderful people, but we didn’t make that a priority in my house.  Going into adulthood, I realized I had deceived myself into believing I had a relationship with God. I knew God loved me, but I questioned whether I loved Him. I wasn’t living life in a way that was glorifying to Him. I’m not only...

Keep Reading

But God is Still Good

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking out window

“I can’t afford a new one,” I thought to myself as I shampooed another stain. This can’t keep happening. Maybe I made a mistake. I have to make this last. And the couch. And the clothes. And all the things. We are done having babies. The price of food has doubled. It’s astronomical to fill the cars with gas. Things are closing in on me. How can I best serve my family? Survival mode engaged. When I read the news, when I follow the headlines, when I listen to the conversations around me . . .  I hear fear. Loss....

Keep Reading

Jesus Helps Me Smile Through the Weary Moments of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman holding toddler girl, color photo

“Mom, why aren’t you smiling?” My 4-year-old took one look at my face, and like an open book, she could read me. Sometimes I wish I could hide it better, tucked behind an infinite smile or a pasted-on happy face. Sometimes I wish my beautiful children—so young, free, and fun—wouldn’t see my face on a day like today. RELATED: Motherhood is Hard, But Loving You is the Easiest Thing I’ve Ever Done You see, it’s just so hard—all of it. And I am just so tired. Between working a job, trying to keep up with being a supportive wife and...

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.