So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

A few months ago, I had a lovely young lady ask me this question over and over until she got an answer that seemingly satisfied her.

Ill be quite frank with you, this question had me upset way longer than was normal for me. It was my first time meeting her, my husband actually brought her over to meet me and the following dialogue ensued after niceties were exchanged.

Her: So what do you do?

I pointed at my two boys.

Her: No, but really, what do you do?

Me: My boys, that’s what I do.

Her: I get that, but that can’t be all that you do, there really has to be something else you do.

Me: Well, I home school my eldest.

Her: And? (Seriously staring at me like Dora the explorer does when she asks you where are we going next? And you find yourself saying river, bridge, tallest mountain.)

Me: Obviously uncomfortable now and just wanting to be done with that conversation, I blurt out that I have a small business I run out of my home, effectively placing me in the WAHM category.

She obviously found that satisfactory, because she then smiled at me, said a few nice things and left.

What I chose not to tell her is that, I am first and foremost a mom, their mom, and whatever else she considers important in life comes second to that. The business I run out of my home, my writing, they only come out when the kids are in bed so I really, seriously just do my kids!

This obviously got me thinking, is there a hierarchy in motherhood? Are we secretly striving to be crowned the most sacrificial group? I know we have the SAHMs, WAHMs, the work from home moms and last but not the least, the work outside the home moms.

I have been in three out of those four groups and I can tell you, we still all get shamed at the end of the day. Here are just a few doozies I have encountered in my seven years as a mother.

SAHM – “I have to work, can you watch my kids last minute? If you can’t watch my kids, can you introduce me to your other SAHM friends so they can watch my kids?” (The word free is implied in this sentence.)  “Oh! You stay home with them? How nice. I wish I could stay home with my kids.” How do you expect us to reply you? By telling you how much we sacrificed to stay home? Or to tell you how truly amazing it is to say I taught my son to read? Truth be told, both of those answers, no matter how true, give me the cringe factor, so I just paste a smile on my face and pray for it to be over.

WAHM – You get the, “Wow! I wish I could work from home, you know kinda eat my cake and have it kinda deal,” or the people who say, “I should totally do what you do, I mean how hard can it be to make a headband and sell it on etsy?” To these people, I seriously just wanna yell, well then do it already! I know I make it look so easy, but be like Nike and just do it.

Work Outside the Home Moms – “Sorry we cant hang out on the weekends, its family time for us. We do play dates when daddy is at work on weekdays, if you didn’t have to work…” Or, “Wow! You’re working so hard! When do they get to see you?”

Here’s the secret, you just can’t win. I feel like we have all just been raised by society to bicker and assume whatever side we fall on is the best. Can we all just be able to genuinely say, hey you’re an awesome mommy and don’t you forget that? No matter what group you fall into, your child still thinks you are amazing and honestly as a mom that is who you need to be impressing.

Beacon Insurance

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Joanna St. James

This Brit turned multinational, is a stay at home mum to two boys. She home schools, runs a business out of her home and writes. In her laughably spare time, she likes to be a church mouse, hoard crafts and books and her husband happily obliges her.

Look beyond the Labels for What You Don’t See

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three kids sitting on parents' laps smiling

I’ve always said that labeling someone with high- or low-functioning autism, or any disability for that matter, isn’t ever truly accurate. You may see an extremely smart girl who seems “normal” but you don’t see everything. You don’t see how the noises hurt her ears. You don’t see how the bright lights hurt her eyes. You don’t see how hard she struggles to fit in. You don’t see how she struggles to understand the social cues. You don’t see how seriously she takes what you say even if you’re joking. You don’t see the struggles when she’s having an overwhelming...

Keep Reading

When You Look Back on These Pictures, I Hope You Feel My Love

In: Kids, Motherhood
Four kids playing in snow, color photo

I document your life in pictures. I do it for you. I do it for me. I do it because I want you to know I lived every memory. And loved every moment. When you go back through the thousands of moments, I hope it sparks something deep inside of you. Something that perhaps your heart and mind had forgotten until that moment. And I hope that it makes you smile.  I hope the memories flood and you remember how much each moment was cherished.  I hope each giggle and secret that was shared with your sisters at that moment sparks...

Keep Reading

For the Parents of the Kids Who Don’t Fit the Mold

In: Kids, Motherhood
mom hugging her daughter

This one is for the parents of the kids who don’t fit the mold. I see you holding your kid together with nothing but love and a prayer as they cry or feel defeated and you wish the world would see your kid like you do. I see you wiping away their tears after they were yet again passed over for all the awards and accolades. There is no award for showing up for school despite crippling anxiety or remembering to write down assignments for the first year ever. So they had to sit clapping again for friends whose accomplishments...

Keep Reading

Let Your Kids See You Try and Fail

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter sitting on floor knitting together

Let your kids see you try and fail at something. That’s what I did today!  My daughter wanted to take a knitting class together. I said sure, naively thinking the skill would come pretty naturally. I’m usually good at things like this.  Guess what? It didn’t. Although she picked it up easily and was basically a knitting pro within five minutes, the teacher kept correcting me, saying, “No, UNDER! You need to go UNDER, not OVER.” She was kind enough, but it just wasn’t clicking. I started to get frustrated with myself. I normally take things like this in stride...

Keep Reading

My Kids Don’t Like to Read, but They Do Love to Learn

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two children reading with each other, color photo

I fell in love with books during a war while my kids lost interest in reading during COVID. Between 1975 and 1990 during the Civil War in Lebanon, my mom, an avid reader, was determined to make me one despite many odds. Once every few weeks, starting when I was about 10, she and I would make the half-hour trek by foot from our apartment in Beirut to a place we called the “book cave.” It was a nondescript space—about 15 by 20 square feet—tucked in the basement of a dilapidated building. Inside, it housed hundreds of books in various...

Keep Reading

Dear Teachers, Thank You Will Never Be Enough

In: Kids, Living
Kids hugging teacher

Growing up a teacher’s daughter has given me a lifetime of appreciation for educators. Of course, it’s true; I may be biased. I’ve been fortunate to have learned and been guided by many outstanding teachers, including my mother and grandmother, who passed those legacy skills onto my daughter, who strongly feels teaching is her calling. But if you’ve had your eyes and ears open in recent years, you, too, probably feel deep gratitude for the angels among us who work in the school system. So, as the school year ends, and on behalf of parents, grandparents, and anyone who loves...

Keep Reading

Before You, Boy, I Never Knew

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three boys playing in creek, color photo

Before you, boy, I never knew that little boys could get so dirty. Play so rough. Climb so high. Assess your risks. Make me hold my breath. Messes everywhere.   Before you, boy, I never knew how much my lap will make room for you. My arms will stretch to swallow you up in endless hugs and just hold you close. And love you to the moon and back. And back again. Snuggling and snuggling.  RELATED: I Met a Boy and He Changed Everything Before you, boy, I never knew that there would be so much wrestling. And superheroes, and far-off...

Keep Reading

It Hurts Seeing My Kid as a B-List Friend

In: Friendship, Kids, Teen
Teen girl sitting alone on a dock

Kids everywhere are celebrating, or will be celebrating soon. They will be playing outside, enjoying warm summer days, bike rides with friends, and maybe even sleepovers. It’s summer—it’s fun, right? Sure, it is. And sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it isn’t fun for the kids you least expect it from. We have that issue, and I knew it was building for the past few weeks with our teenage daughter. She was moody (moodier than normal). Short tempered. Obviously frustrated, but not ready to talk about it. But it was when she came home on the last day of school, in tears,...

Keep Reading

5 Money Tips to Set Your Kids Up for a Strong Financial Future

In: Grown Children, Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Father putting quarters in child's hand

As parents, we want to see our children become independent, but the transition to financial independence has unique challenges. I get it. I have three children of my own, and each of them deals with money differently. The transition can be especially difficult if you are a family that doesn’t talk openly about money. Regardless of whether money has been an open topic in the past, as your high school graduate moves on to the next chapter in their life, it’s important to help them start thinking about their financial future. College tuition, rent, and other expenses can be overwhelming...

Keep Reading

Dear Hunter’s Mom, What I Really Want to Say

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler boy, color photo

Hi, I’m Krystal. I’ve wanted to say that every Tuesday and Thursday when I see you in the preschool hallway. I don’t know why I never say it. It might be because I’m afraid to. Maybe you just want to get the drop-off over with and get out of there. I get it. Hunter is crying . . . hard. People are looking . . . they always look. Your face is flushed, your jacket twisted. You are caught between trying to do what you are supposed to do and what you want to do. I can tell. I know...

Keep Reading