Enough.

I realized today how much my thoughts have revolved around “enough” over the past few months.

Do we have enough of this and enough of that? Maybe I should get more.

Did the kids learn enough at school? I don’t know if I can be a teacher, too.

How am I going to find enough time to juggle all of this? I’m only one person.

Do we have enough tests yet?

Will we have enough money to make it through a furlough?

And then I felt convicted in the way that makes you stop and take notice.

My heart pulled and my mind fixated on “enough.”

I’ve had enough, I thought. It’s been one of those days, you know?

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But a small, gentle voice kept urging, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Sufficient. Enough.

I thought about all the times I’ve halfheartedly sung, “Christ is enough for me,” while making my grocery list in my head; too comfortable to sing it with the urgency it demands.

But I sing that song differently now.

At the beginning of this year, life looked a lot different. And while most everything stopped in its tracks, the things that complicated life then—the problems that kept us up at night—are about the only things that didn’t disappear with the shutdown.

We were stripped of all of the things and places and most of the people we built our lives around.

We lost so many of the comforts we had become accustomed to having.

And I think, for me, one of the hardest things about quarantine has been figuring out who I am without all of that.

Deciding if I like what I see when everything else is gone.

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Realizing that, as good as it sings, I don’t always live like Christ is enough for me.

Good jobs and comfortable finances, dinners out and big holidays, perfect health and plenty of toilet paper, fun vacations, and the right schools—oh and Jesus, of course. And somehow, all of that didn’t even feel like enough most days.

When you lose so much, and yet still have an abundance to be grateful for—you realize how much more than enough you had in the beginning.

I think “enough” is more objective than we make it. We spend a lot of time and energy thinking When I have xyz, I’ll have enough.

But the truth is, in Christ alone, we have so much more than we even deserve.

He is enough. The rest is gravy.

Originally published on Facebook