On Things Undone

I live in a perpetual state of undone. All the to dos float through my thoughts and I’m wracked with scurrying scribbles on my day to day lists that go unchecked. The chaos of it all can either paralyze me or empower me, it just depends on the barometer of my anxiety. Life’s sometimes unpredictable. It seems to drown us with those surprises that hurl us toward unplanned moments, dismissing any routine with reckless abandon. The lists become submerged in the ongoing tides that erase the everyday mandates and distinguish the priorities once planned.

I had a week that reflected just that.

The whirlwind of piled up to dos stormed through my thoughts and I faced the growing un-done list surrounding my home, my work, my marriage, my ministries, my friendships. The list seemed never-ending and my first free day was filled with the urgency to get things DONE.

These are the days I twist thoughts so tight I can’t even clear enough room in my mind to tackle any of them with clarity. Other days I can safely plan a strategy to organize all the un-dones and create a clear line of attack. Most days I find myself disoriented and fragmented and overwhelmed. I can’t organize my tasks, my responsibilities or my intentions, and I get blurry and messy and impulsive.

Life is ever constant in its inconsistencies.

So am I.

When I find myself in that place, I often stop and frantically wave the S.O.S. flag as I reach out in prayer. I pull myself back from the overflowing waves of undone, and offer Him the inventory of my tasks, duties, and assignments I must discern. I then ask God to lay out my course.

“God, what do YOU want me to do?”

There is comfort in knowing He is the God of DONE. He is the anchor of assurance. He is the unmoving, unchanging, and unfaltering Creator of all things. He knew this day and all the days before. His plan will be revealed in all the tomorrows. There is no blurry mess where He reigns and His message reveals to the world THE most important “to do”  has been DONE.

John 19:28-30 NIV

28Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. 30When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

I open my heart to this truth, and my perspective shifts. The great I Am has already spoken, and my list of Un-dones seems infantile, irrelevant, small. Not that those things are unimportant or should be dismissed- but they are less significant in the big picture of His Kingdom and this world. Surely, God wants to fill me with His peace and lead me in His Purpose, and by gosh if getting those dishes done means that will happen, then by all means…

But to meditate on the greatest work of this world and reflect on his words “It is finished.” reminds me of the true priority in this life. Soaking in that magnificent truth with the awe and wonder of it all, helps me realize that my undones are simply tiny pebbles on the path of His Plan. My lens adjusts to this revelation, and I am transformed with a new vision of what may be most important to Him on my “to do” list.

So I ask Him to lead me.

I quiet my own voice enough to hear His, in the silent surrendering S.O.S.

Sometimes it takes a while to shut up long enough to hear His whisper.

I’m quite chatty that way.

Other times I take over and my flesh scrawls and claws my way to peace.

It’s much harder that way.

Those days are exhausting and I still squirm and scribble on and on with things undone, with little room for His say.

Each day I face, I want to hold up my flag and listen for His trumpet call.

I want to invite Him into my “to do” list to help me pick out what He wants to get “done“… Through me.

I want to fall into His Grace and bask in His Glory with unending reverence for the biggest “Done” I can check off my “to do” list.

I want to remember always, how fragile this life is and how His View is so much better than mine.

I don’t want to lose sight of it, while buried and blind.

What a waste.

Lord, help me quiet my mind, so I can hear your guiding voice. Open my heart to your dreams for this day. Guide me through my Must Dos and Want Tos and help me discern what you want done, and give me the strength to leave the rest undone. May your peace cleanse my urgency for my plan and pour new intention for yours. Show me where to accomplish YOUR to do list, and walk by me as I take those faithful steps with your purpose, not mine. Remind me that there is only one “Done” on this earth that means most to you. I’m forever grateful to know I have that checked off my list.