Humor Journal

One Hundred Things to do Instead of the One Thing You Must Do

One Hundred Things To Do Instead of The One Thing You Must Do www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Christine Carter

When you have something really, REALLY important that needs to get done, here are one hundred things you can do instead:

  1. Take a nap.
  2. Clean out your kids’ rooms.
  3. Paint any room in the house.
  4. Sweep and mop the floors.
  5. Watch your friend’s kids.
  6. Go for a walk.
  7. Clean out your pantry.
  8. Wipe down your floor boards.
  9. Go through all 748 emails.
  10. Scroll through Facebook.
  11. Find your old High School pal on Facebook.
  12. Stalk an old boyfriend on Facebook.
  13. Pace the house, looking for something that needs done.
  14. Vacuum.
  15. Cruise Pinterest for new decor ideas.
  16. Rearrange your furniture.
  17. Call anyone.
  18. Answer the phone when it rings.
  19. Do four loads of laundry.
  20. Play with your kids.
  21. Go to the gym.
  22. Write a to do list, and STAR, UNDERLINE, and CIRCLE that one thing you must do.
  23. Do everything on that list BUT that one thing.
  24. Plant flowers.
  25. Pay bills.
  26. Shop online.
  27. Go to lunch with a friend.
  28. Work overtime.
  29. Write a letter to your Aunt Milda.
  30. Start Christmas shopping lists.
  31. Organize your basement storage bins.
  32. Clean out your entire basement.
  33. Read a good book.
  34. Read The Good Book.
  35. Watch Netflix.
  36. Go through your DVR and delete old programs you’ll never watch.
  37. Watch all the shows you haven’t watched.
  38. Take a bath.
  39. Shave.
  40. Get a haircut and color.
  41. Paint your nails.
  42. Call your mom.
  43. Go on a date with your guy.
  44. Have sex.
  45. Try on all your clothes.
  46. Discard most of them and make a list of new clothes you need.
  47. Research healthy diets.
  48. Make cookies and eat them, because- diets.
  49. Think about an exercise plan to go with your new diet you might be starting tomorrow, or the next day- or Monday.
  50. Go shopping for workout clothes that fit.
  51. Go grocery shopping for new whole foods diet.
  52. Make a really good meal with those whole foods.
  53. Clean out your fridge- discard UN-whole foods.
  54. Clean out your junk drawer.
  55. Go through all your receipts.
  56. Go through all the photos of the last five years.
  57. Scrapbook.
  58. Schedule a family portrait.
  59. Clean out your purse.
  60. Clean all your bed sheets.
  61. Text that friend you’ve been meaning to text.
  62. Dust the blinds.
  63. Get car washed.
  64. Do yard work.
  65. Look for healthy recipes to cook for your family.
  66. Call your dad.
  67. Do yoga.
  68. Take clothes to goodwill.
  69. Volunteer at school.
  70. Check out your kids’ grades on Powerschool.
  71. Go through all the paperwork piled on your kitchen counter.
  72. Cut coupons.
  73. Clean out your garage.
  74. Febreeze your entire house.
  75. Cut your toe nails.
  76. Clean your toilets.
  77. Get out all the craft supplies and have your kids go at it.
  78. Test all the markers in six different marker bins.
  79. Clean up all your craft supplies and throw out your kids projects.
  80. Strategize new organization for kid’s crafts, school supplies, and homework.
  81. Go to Target to buy more bins.
  82. While there, buy new frames, towels, bras, and bedding.
  83. Think of ways to save more money.
  84. Write out a new budget for the coming month.
  85. Download savings apps and search for ways to save more money when you buy things.
  86. Look into serving in your community as a family because you feel guilty being so self consumed.
  87. Stare at your schedule and figure out how to find time to serve in your community as a family.
  88. Transfer all current addresses into a new address book and take out old ones.
  89. Plan a girls night out.
  90. Floss your teeth and stare at them in the mirror for a while.
  91. Buy whitener for your teeth.
  92. Do a new Bible Study.
  93. Listen to inspirational podcasts.
  94. Spray for bugs because you found one under the bench in the corner of the house when you were scanning it for things to do.
  95. Clean out your medicine cabinet.
  96. Make doctor appointments.
  97. Send a card to a friend who is sick.
  98. Pray.
  99. Pray some more.
  100. FINALLY START TO DO THAT ONE THING YOU NEED TO DO. (But of course, don’t finish it.)

About the author

Christine Carter

Chris Carter is a SAHM of two pretty amazing kids. She has been writing at http://themomcafe.com/ for six years, where she hopes to encourage mothers everywhere through her humor, inspiration and faith. You can also find her work on For Every Mom, Blunt Moms, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Mamapedia, Her View From Home, Huffington Post, MomBabble, and Scary Mommy. She is the author of “Help and Hope While You’re Healing: A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness.”