I’m fighting a battle today to save my child’s life.

Eleven years ago my son came into our family. I vividly remember receiving the call from our foster care agency. Yes, we would pick up this little baby who had such incredibly intense needs. Yes, we would provide shelter for one who had been put in harm’s way by the people who were to care for him. Yes, we would stand up for him, advocate for him, and pour our love into him.

Two years later we adopted him.

He is part of our forever, and we are part of his.

He’s almost a teenager now and as he’s grown, he has raged in anger at life, which includes raging at us. Can you blame him?

At times I have blamed him. While I know his history and I understand the impact of childhood trauma, the holes in my walls and holes in my heart want to blame what is easily in front of me.

I have a very angry boy in front of me.

Last year my husband and I attended a Weekend to Remember marriage conference. One phrase we learned there that we have continued to return to is, “You have an enemy, and it’s not your spouse.”

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10

Our enemy Satan is so crafty. One of his clever moves is to trick us into believing our companions in the battle are our enemies. He turns us against one another. Jesus comes to bring life.

My spouse is not my enemy.

My son is not my enemy.

Whatever battle you are facing today — and I know you are facing one, because we all are — I encourage you to be aware.

What is the actual battle you are facing?

Instead of fighting at our loved ones, may we turn so that we are shoulder to shoulder, looking toward our problems, ready to face them together as a team.

Sara Borgstede

Sara Borgstede is a triathlete, speaker, and writer. She has been maintaining a 100 lb weight loss for 10 years, and runs an online faith and fitness program for women, http://www.faithfulfinishlines.com/ She is mom to 5 kids through birth and special needs adoption, and she and her husband Mike, who is a pastor, were foster parents to 35 children. Sara takes a lot of power naps. Find her at her website, The Holy Mess, at http://www.saraborgstede.com/, and on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram. (Links Below)