Hopefully you all got to celebrate your love for someone special this February 14th. Whether it’s your spouse, your children, your significant other, or even just family or friends – taking time to express your love towards them is very important – not just in February but all year round.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. The words, “I love you”, are very important but even more so are the expressions that back the words up. I have found “The Five Love Languages” books, by Gary Chapman, extremely helpful in learning to express my love towards my husband and my kiddos in ways that they feel my love. 

If you don’t know about the five love languages, the premise is that there are five primary ways that people can actually comprehend love. So, as someone who wants to show our love towards that person, we learn to speak their language so they can actually receive our love for them.

The Five Languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Quality Time
  5. Receiving Gifts

So in the vein of the Five Love Languages, as a wife and a mom, here’s a few practical ways I’ve found to demonstrate and express my love towards my family. They (like most people) all have a couple languages they comprehend but they all have their top. Important note: Even though everyone usually has a couple ways they experience love the easiest, it’s important that we demonstrate them all. Becoming fluent in all five languages will ensure that we love people well!

My husband: This man is a words of affirmation man all the way through. After 19 years of marriage, nearly the only thing he’s ever asked me to grow in, is with my words. I wasn’t brought up in a very affirming home environment (not a bad environment, just not one that majored on intentionally speaking encouragement) and not being a ‘words’ person myself, this is one that I’ve intentionally had to grow in ‘speaking’. 

Daughter #1: This girl is a gifts girl. Buying things for her that let her know that I know her and that I’m thinking of her is a sure way to her heart. Bringing home a coffee with a note on the lid after a first breakup evidently was one of the most meaningful things I’ve done because a couple years later, she still has that coffee cup lid.

Daughter #2: This girl’s a little harder to figure out, because when she was younger, I’d say her top language was touch but now I think quality time means more to her. She was the only middle child for 9 years (and now is 1 of 2 middles) and, as a middle, your parent’s attention can seem hard to come by. Taking her to coffee and truly seeing her and listening to her makes her day.

Daughter #3: Maybe it’s because she was the baby of the family so long or maybe she was just always wired that way but acts of service is the winner with this one. Coming to her when she needs something, instead of having her come to where I am helps her feel loved. Helping her clean her room, bringing her a snack – anything that involves being a servant to her – helps this one know I love her big.

Daughter #4: This one’s interesting because she’s only three years old. At this point in her little life, I would say she is a words of affirmation receiver. It’s important to gush all 5 languages on littles (well actually everyone) and seeing what they respond to most will help you know which one you should be the most intentional about. Daughter #4 loves being told she’s done a great job or that I’m proud of her for helping out. 

And me, like my oldest daughter, I’m a gifts girl. It’s not so much the gift as what the gift says to me, you were thinking of me and took the time to express that through a gift.

What is your love language? What about the people closest to you? Become fluent in the languages of love!

Practical Tips on Loving Well   www.herviewfromhome.com      The objects of my love!


***Author’s note: Beyond the first book “The Five Love Languages” (which is primarily about husband and wife relationships), Chapman has released books geared towards parent/children relationships, general friendships, working relationships, singles relationships…. all excellent help!

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Dani Stroda

I love the adventure of life - aspiring to live every day lost in the whimsy and wonder of the journey. I’m outrageously in love with my amazing husband who makes me laugh every day. I’m mamma to 4 gorgeous and witty daughters who delight me everyday. I’m overwhelmed by the love of our Creator and passionate about helping others find freedom and wholeness - body, soul and spirit. I am author of the book, Journey Through the Door, which released in November 2015. A good conversation, with a friend, over coffee is a favorite pastime of mine and you can join me over at http://www.whimsyinmycup.com/ to join in the conversation! Also find me at “Whimsy In My Cup” on Facebook.

I Thought Our Friendship Would Be Unbreakable

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
Two friends selfie

The message notification pinged on my phone. A woman, once one of my best friends, was reaching out to me via Facebook. Her message simply read, “Wanted to catch up and see how life was treating you!”  I had very conflicting feelings. It seemed with that one single message, a flood of memories surfaced. Some held some great moments and laughter. Other memories held disappointment and hurt of a friendship that simply had run its course. Out of morbid curiosity, I clicked on her profile page to see how the years had been treating her. She was divorced and still...

Keep Reading

The First 10 Years: How Two Broken People Kept Their Marriage from Breaking

In: Journal, Marriage, Relationships
The First Ten Years: How Two Broken People Kept Their Marriage from Breaking www.herviewfromhome.com

We met online in October of 2005, by way of a spam email ad I was THIS CLOSE to marking as trash. Meet Single Christians! My cheese alert siren sounded loudly, but for some reason, I unchecked the delete box and clicked through to the site. We met face-to-face that Thanksgiving. As I awaited your arrival in my mother’s kitchen, my dad whispered to my little brother, “Hide your valuables. Stacy has some guy she met online coming for Thanksgiving dinner.” We embraced for the first time in my parents’ driveway. I was wearing my black cashmere sweater with the...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Loved You First

In: Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
Man and woman kissing in love

Dear husband, I loved you first. But often, you get the last of me. I remember you picking me up for our first date. I spent a whole hour getting ready for you. Making sure every hair was in place and my make-up was perfect. When you see me now at the end of the day, the make-up that is left on my face is smeared. My hair is more than likely in a ponytail or some rat’s nest on the top of my head. And my outfit, 100% has someone’s bodily fluids smeared somewhere. But there were days when...

Keep Reading

Stop Being a Butthole Wife

In: Grief, Journal, Marriage, Relationships
Man and woman sit on the end of a dock with arms around each other

Stop being a butthole wife. No, I’m serious. End it.  Let’s start with the laundry angst. I get it, the guy can’t find the hamper. It’s maddening. It’s insanity. Why, why, must he leave piles of clothes scattered, the same way that the toddler does, right? I mean, grow up and help out around here, man. There is no laundry fairy. What if that pile of laundry is a gift in disguise from a God you can’t (yet) see? Don’t roll your eyes, hear me out on this one. I was a butthole wife. Until my husband died. The day...

Keep Reading

I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-fil-A Sauce

In: Friendship, Journal, Living, Relationships
woman smiling in the sun

A couple of friends and I went and grabbed lunch at Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago. It was delightful. We spent roughly $20 apiece, and our kids ran in and out of the play area barefoot and stinky and begged us for ice cream, to which we responded, “Not until you finish your nuggets,” to which they responded with a whine, and then ran off again like a bolt of crazy energy. One friend had to climb into the play tubes a few times to save her 22-month-old, but it was still worth every penny. Every. Single. One. Even...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Friendships End, No Matter How Hard You Try

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
Sad woman alone without a friend

I tried. We say these words for two reasons. One: for our own justification that we made an effort to complete a task; and two: to admit that we fell short of that task. I wrote those words in an e-mail tonight to a friend I had for nearly 25 years after not speaking to her for eight months. It was the third e-mail I’ve sent over the past few weeks to try to reconcile with a woman who was more of a sister to me at some points than my own biological sister was. It’s sad when we drift...

Keep Reading

Goodbye to the House That Built Me

In: Grown Children, Journal, Living, Relationships
Ranch style home as seen from the curb

In the winter of 1985, while I was halfway done growing in my mom’s belly, my parents moved into a little brown 3 bedroom/1.5 bath that was halfway between the school and the prison in which my dad worked as a corrections officer. I would be the first baby they brought home to their new house, joining my older sister. I’d take my first steps across the brown shag carpet that the previous owner had installed. The back bedroom was mine, and mom plastered Smurf-themed wallpaper on the accent wall to try to get me to sleep in there every...

Keep Reading

5 Tips For Dealing With a Toxic Mother-in-Law

In: Grown Children, Journal, Marriage, Relationships
Woman frustrated with her mother in law

Many people admit to having difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships with their in-laws, however having a toxic mother-in-law can be especially tricky when balancing a relationship with your spouse. I have five simple tips that can help put you on a happier and healthier path when dealing with a toxic mother-in-law. 1. You don’t have to like your mother-in-law, or even be friends. Establish clear boundaries with your spouse. Let him know that it is OK for him to maintain a relationship with his mother without involving you. By doing this you can eliminate the pressure to please your mother-in-law;...

Keep Reading

To the Mother of My Son’s Future Wife

In: Grown Children, Inspiration, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
marriage, wife, husband, grown children, www.herviewfromhome.com

To the mother of my son’s future wife, I’m in the midst of dirty diapers and temper tantrums, but I do have days where I think about the future and what it will look like for my son. I wonder who he will be, what he will do and probably most of all, who he will love. I wonder about the type of woman he will bring home to meet us one day. I have my own thoughts on the type of person I wish my son would fall in love with, but we all know that the heart wants...

Keep Reading

Sometimes the Middle Child Needs a Little Extra Love

In: Kids, Motherhood, Relationships
middle child mother www.herviewfromhome.com

Mamas, look after your middles. Those babies who are born second, third, fourth or so in the birth order. The ones who are sandwiched between the idolized older sibling and the teeny tiny baby who stole everyone’s hearts. They need you more than you know. They need a little extra love from time to time. A hug and a “good job” here and there just to remind them that nobody has taken their spot in your heart since you added to your family. Try to remember they weren’t given a choice of their place in the lineup. If given the...

Keep Reading