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Dear Husband,

You know how our 8-year-old acts like his world is ending on the rare occasion when you’re not available to put him to bed? It’s not that he doesn’t love me . . . it’s that I just can’t compare to the pure fun you bring to each day’s end. I guess I should be jealous, but I’m not.

I’m thankful.

When we go out to dinner or to a school event and we drive separately because you come straight from work, the kids always want to ride home with you. I could be bitter about those lonely drives home, but I’m not.

I’m grateful. 

The truth is, dear husband, when I take a look at myself, and let my eyes alight for a minute on you, I see as clear as day why our kids act like you hang the moon. And I see why kids are meant to have two parents.

When I feel like I have the weight of the world on my mom-shoulders, you ask what you can take off of them. And what’s more? There are so many things that you’ve taken without even asking: you pack the school lunches, you’ve always done bath time, and you casually ask me to get a couple things at the grocery each week that you can cook for dinner. 

Of course, the kids always love it when you cook dinner, too. Dad dinners > mom dinners, every time.

Once again, not even mad about it! 

I may make sure that all the details of the kids’ lives fall into place, but you make sure they’ve got some scheduled JOY in each day, and I am so beyond thankful for that. For you. For all the things that our three kids can look forward to when they see your car pull in the driveway at the end of each day, or when they wake up on weekend mornings.

For the “dad jokes”, for the Nintendo battles, for the tickle fights, and oh yeah, for working full-time day in and day out at the same job for almost 20 years, thank you. The kids and I are beyond grateful.

Sometimes I jokingly tell people that you’re “a better mom than I am” and well, that’s not to say anything against myself. I mean, I do my best and it’s pretty darn good. What I really mean by that is that everything I can’t give our kids, everything I come up short on, every parenting quality I longingly wish I had, you have in spades. And thank God you do.

Moms want to be their kids’ ALL, be 100% perfect, be not just enough but more than enough for their babies.

But thanks to you, babe, I don’t have to be. I don’t need to stare down that unreachable parenting goal and beat myself up at the end of each day because I haven’t hit it. The reason is this: everything I’m not, you are. We’re not perfect, but together we do a pretty good job of hitting the mark.

I’ve seen it before, many times. Some dads just defer to their partners the moment the baby exits the womb. They don’t even try reach inside and harness their innate parenting prowess. But you, my love, were a natural from the get-go, and it’s because you wanted to be. No matter how much you love and respect me and regard my position as Mama Bear, you’re weren’t going to stand aside and be a passive parent. Not even for a minute.

Dear husband, you are the parent our kids need, and I’m thankful for that. But more than anything, I’m thankful that you’ve worked hard and intentionally to be that for them. For me. For us.

Thank you for showing up and rocking this dad gig, babe. The kids and I are the most hashtag blessed people on earth, because of you.

Your wife


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Dear Husband, Even When Our Marriage Feels Hard, I Am With You

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Jenny Rapson

Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.

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