Our Biggest Sale of the Year Ends Today!🎄 ➔


Someday, I will have a kitchen with more than two feet of counter space. 

Someday, I will have a living room big enough to fit a couch AND a recliner.

Someday, I will have a house where my son and daughter won’t have to share a room.

Someday, I will have main floor laundry where I don’t have to don shoes and walk across a grimy basement floor to get to it.

Someday, I might even have more than one bathroom.

Someday, I won’t have to fret over whether my wall color is too dark or if it makes the already tiny rooms feel even smaller.

Someday, I might have a house with enough space to have my own little oasis with bookshelves and room for all of my hobbies.

RELATED: Our House isn’t Fancy, But it’s Our Home

Someday, I just might have room to bring my old Papasan chair out of my parents’ house and into my own house.

I always imagined that someday being in the distant future. My husband and I had agreed long ago that when his business was paid off we could look for our dream forever home.

Every frustration I voiced out loud about our current little first home, every “I wish we had” that I told him about, every “we need more space” I commented about, he would assure me that my patience would pay off.  

Someday we will have all of that.

Until suddenly, someday wasn’t so far away. 

My husband commented on a home he had found one day, and I reacted passively as always.

“Don’t get my hopes up,” I’d say like always. We still had another six years of paying on the business to go. I counted down the years to that moment like a kid counts down the days till her birthday or Christmas.

The very next day he came home with excitement, “I talked to the bank, we can get the house!” A whirlwind of emotions hit me like a hurricane, I’m talking instant brain implosion. 

RELATED: You’re Not Raising a House, You’re Raising a Family

What? No, we still have six years. We don’t have the money. Why would we move right now? I just planted my garden! We can’t leave here, I’m not ready to go.

You see, I realized in an instant how much this tiny house I had numerous complaints about really, truly meant to me.

This is where we moved in together. This is where we dated. This is where we grew our life together. We got married in the back yard for Pete’s sake! We brought our babies home here. Every single memory of our life together is wrapped up in the neat little ball of this home.

My very first reaction to the news of moving was heartache. I instantly regretted everything negative I had ever said about my tiny little home.

But alas, logic took over. We did need more space. The kids can’t share a room forever, granted they are only one and four now, but in six years our daughter would be 10, definitely not an appropriate age for a girl to be sharing a room with her 7-year-old brother.

We scheduled a viewing of the new house.

As we strolled through the rooms, I began to imagine all the changes I would make to make it home. All of the dreams I had for our perfect forever home.  My brain swam with visions, and I started to feel giddy about moving again. We put in the offer as soon as we left, and by the next day, we had an answer.

We didn’t get the house.

The initial reaction I had was one of defeat. We didn’t get it. All of those swimming visions in my head vanished in a puff of smoke.  

But the feeling didn’t last.

RELATED: This Home May Be Old and Well-loved, But it Holds Our Precious Memories

As I sat the next day and thought about it, reflecting on the entire previous week of our lives, I knew in my heart God had something else in mind. Maybe something better, maybe just something different, maybe another time. Either way, I knew it was meant to happen this way because as I sat with my babies in our tiny first home, I realized . . . 

It’s OK that we didn’t get it. Our time is coming when we will have a home we have dreamed of. But for now, I’m content. Some day we will have our forever home, but I’m OK staying in our first home a little longer.  

And maybe, just maybe, I’ve learned to appreciate it a little more. I don’t complain about it anymore, and I try to soak up each and every day I’m blessed with living in it because those days are now numbered. Some day, soon, we will no longer live in the house we made our first home.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Erin Berndt

Erin Berndt and her husband moved to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan for just a few years, 25 years ago, and have raised their three sons and various cats and dogs there. Erin has been teaching high school English for 26 years. Although most of her writing has been done in red ink over the years, she likes nothing better than to write about her family’s escapades.

My Toxic Father Does Not Define Me

In: Grown Children, Living
Woman with hair blowing in wind

I don’t have a father, and it’s completely fine. It really, really is.  It’s taken me 40 years to say it because it just doesn’t sound right . . . but it is the honest truth and embracing it, finally, has been liberating.  No, he hasn’t passed away. No, I am not adopted. No, he did not abandon us—he was there all the time, unfortunately. Nevertheless, he was never a “father” to me in any positive form, and from the time I left for college, I effectively fled him and never turned back. Without going into too much upsetting detail, I...

Keep Reading

“Love Doesn’t Lessen With Loss.” Chevy’s Emotional Holiday Ad Has Us Feeling Weepy

In: Living
Chevy commercial showing older couple walking down steps to vintage car

‘Tis the season of good food, good movies, and good commercials.  One of the most memorable commercials from last year’s holiday season was Chevrolet’s “Holiday Ride,” which told the story of a widower and his grown daughter leaning on each other as they grieved their loss during the holidays.  The ad was a tough act to follow, but the auto company rose to the occasion this year with their brand new “The Holidays with Mrs. Hayes” commercial that released on Thanksgiving Day.  If you caught the commercial’s debut on national television during the Giants vs. Cowboys game, you saw the...

Keep Reading

Festive Cranberry Pineapple Salad is Our Holiday Tradition

In: Living
Bowl of cranberry salad, color photo

Amid the hustle and bustle of setting the table for Thanksgiving, my son glances around the table and notices a missing key dish. He runs to the basement fridge to retrieve his favorite side dish. He slowly walks back upstairs and carefully holds the Mikasa crystal bowl with two hands and places it gingerly on the table. The light from the dining room fixture catches the cut glass edges on the bowl, and it practically sparkles. Dinner may now be served. About 20 years ago, I saw a recipe for a cranberry Jell-O in a magazine advertisement for Thanksgiving. The...

Keep Reading

Blake Lively’s Tribute to Ryan Reynolds Has Us in Tears: “Daddy Always Comes Home”

In: Living, Marriage, News

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are Hollywood couple #goals, and over the years, we’ve delighted in watching their fun, light-hearted, and endearing romance play out. What makes them so likable is that they genuinely seem to adore each other, but they’re not above trolling each other publicly and on social media, which almost always results in some hilarious antics. (P.S. Remember Reynolds’ hysterical ad that paid tribute to the dumpster fire that was 2020?) The couple has gone back and forth on Instagram and Twitter with jabs at each other’s acting roles . . . View this post on Instagram...

Keep Reading

Viral Video of a Chimpanzee and Her Baby Shows Us the Power of a Mother’s Love

In: Motherhood, News
a mama chimpanzee cuddles her baby after being separated

A mother’s love is one of the most powerful forces on Earth, and we don’t have to look any further than a sweet chimpanzee named Mahale for proof. The Sedgwick County Zoo in Wichita, Kansas shared a now-viral video of a mama chimp’s emotional reunion with her baby after being separated after birth, and the world has fallen in love. If you haven’t seen it yet, go ahead and grab a box of tissues because if you’re anything like me, you’ll be bawling by the end. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Sedgwick County Zoo (@sedgwickcountyzoo) I...

Keep Reading

Grandma’s Christmas Tree Teepee is Pure Holiday Magic

In: Living
Christmas teepee with lights and garland in corner of living room

Every December, my kids and I have a Christmas cookie decorating and crafting day at my grandma’s house. She cuts sugar cookies into every festive shape and size, buys allllllll the sprinkles and decorating icings, and lets the kids go to town. There are overflowing mugs of hot cocoa (with extra whipped cream, of course), endless treats, and Christmas music playing in the background. It’s a day we look forward to every single year—and it’s made all the more special because every second of it is filled with Grandma’s love and care. Here’s the thing. Moms are the magic-makers of...

Keep Reading

I Truly Believed My Children Would Be Better off without Me

In: Living
Woman holding baby with feet showing

Trigger warning: This post contains suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is thinking about harming themself, please call the 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 You are not alone ❤   The doctor told me that none of this was my fault, that there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome, that there was immense hope for his living twin, and that my husband and I were a true inspiration. He also told me to call him anytime I wanted to talk or had any questions. I have to be honest and maybe come off...

Keep Reading

Publix Holiday Ad Nails It: You Never Outgrow Needing Your Mom

In: Grown Children, Living, Motherhood
Publix ad showing daughter on video call with her mom

The first time I ever cooked Thanksgiving dinner on my own, my mom was several hundred miles away. I was a brand new wife, preparing turkey and all the trimmings for my in-laws in a tiny one-bedroom apartment (what was I thinking?!)—and I must have called my mom a dozen times that day.  How many hours does this bird need to thaw? Are yams and sweet potatoes the same thing? What on earth is a roux?  RELATED: What the Thanksgiving Dish You’re Bringing This Year Says About You Even as a twentysomething, full-grown, married woman, I needed my mom.  The...

Keep Reading

Freedom at 40

In: Living
Woman holding balloons, color photo

I used to think 40 was so old. This thought wasn’t just limited to when I was a kid either—I thought so in my 20s and 30s too. But as I neared 40, my thought process shifted. I realized I had spent so much time in my 20s and 30s always striving to be better, always tired, often frustrated, disappointed, and annoyed. My 20s and 30s were spent having babies, raising littles to pre-teens, struggling to make ends meet financially and emotionally, trying to find time to be a wife and not just a mom. My 20s and 30s were...

Keep Reading

Watch the Kroger Holiday Ad that Has Us Crying in the Cranberry Sauce

In: Living
Kroger ad showing old man tasting late wife's special recipe

There’s something about the holidays that makes us all a little nostalgic. A home becomes a little cozier with a fire crackling in the hearth. The smell of your grandmother’s apple pie bubbling in the oven transports you back to childhood meals spent around her dining room table. The warmth of hugs and conversation from family gathered together fills hearts with love and precious memories.  But sometimes, the holidays are hard. This season can remind us of the people missing from our holiday tables. Sometimes it reminds us of the loves we’ve lost or the hugs we’re yearning to feel...

Keep Reading