Perhaps one of the bravest, most authentic things you can be is “working on it.” I’m not always the mom and wife I want to be, but I’m working on it. I’m not always the teacher or friend I want to be, but I’m working on it.

In the “working on it” we acknowledge the imperfections—face them head on—and say to the world (and more importantly to ourselves), “It’s okay that I’m not perfect, and I’m going to get better.” We’re constantly working on the people we want to be. And we’re working on our dreams, too.

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I want to write a book, so I’m working on it. I’d love to be better at playing piano, so I’m working on it. I’ve never been one for baking, but my girl is and wants to be, so we’re working on it.

In the “working on it” we push the boundary of our comfort zone with a goal and edge our way in that direction. Sometimes large, bold strides, sometimes timid shuffles, but as long as there is a determined effort, we’re working on it.

“Working on it” is authentic. It has no pretense of the armchair quarterback who claims to know more than the experts, and it boasts no prideful, better-than-you demeanor. Instead, it’s a humble call of “we’re in this together, and if I’m working to be better, so can you.”

What’s more, “working on it” is brave. So brave. It says boldly, “I don’t have this figured out yet, and I’m ready to grow.” It opens up for advice and then must choose which pieces to follow. It says determinedly, “Here is where I am, and there is where I aim to be.” And then it works to get there.

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This is our first time living, you know. Whatever stage you may be in at this moment—it’s your first time through there. We don’t have it all figured out. And that’s more than okay.

So don’t be perfect—you’re not anyway. And don’t be complacent—you’re better than that. Just be working on it. The rest of us are too.

Originally published on the author’s blog