The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

I am an avowed true crime junkie and I am not ashamed to say it. Give me all the true crime podcasts, Investigation Discovery shows and Dateline episodes. For whatever reason (and much to my husband’s chagrin), I AM HERE FOR ALL OF IT. So naturally, when I heard Netflix had a documentary coming out about the horrific 2018 murder of Shanann Watts, her unborn child and her two daughters at the hands of her husband, Chris, I did what crime junkies do. I set a reminder, poured myself a cup of coffee and turned it on at 7:15 a.m. the morning it appeared on my Netflix feed.

The Shanann Watts documentary is extremely unique: it is made up entirely of social media video clips, police interrogation and body cam footage, and home videos.

There are no formal interviews at all. It is as if you are watching the drama play out as a physical bystander. It is powerful, shocking, and most of all, deeply tragic. The emotions as I watched Shannan, Bella, and CeCe’s story turned very, very heavy. I wanted to understand how this seemingly perfect family could have imploded the way it did. How could a man kill his own children with his own hands?  

The documentary did not bring me any understanding. Shanann had painted a very rosy picture of their family life with her social media posts, and I don’t think anyone could have seen the murders coming.

But a social media post published after the documentary aired shed some light on how these things can and do happen, and they are really not rare.

According to a viral post by Facebook user Jessica Angelica, Shanann is one of three women killed every single day in the United States by a romantic partner. Pregnancy adds another risk factor: homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women, followed by heart disease. 

Did you know that? I didn’t.

RELATED: Silence Fuels Domestic Violence, So I’m Speaking Up

Jessica Angelica’s post on signs of domestic violence is now going viral, and for good reason. While she notes that Chris and Shanann Watts’ relationship does not appear to have been affected by any of these factors, I believe it honors Shanann and her children’s memories to share them as Jessica did.

Here are some important points her post makes that all women should be aware of:

Shanann said this man was her rock in May. He killed her and all their children three months after she posted this picture. (Her family has left it up for awareness, Netflix has made a documentary, American Murder: The Family Next Door.)
Men who commit familicide:
  • Previous domestic violence history (prior domestic violence history is the #1 indicator)
  • Generally non-Hispanic white male
  • Own/access to a gun
  • There are 1 million women in the US who have survived being shot or shot at by an intimate partner.
  • Roughly 3 women are killed every day in the USA by an intimate partner. Between Oct 1, 2020 and Dec 31, 2020 that’s another 276 of you. By this late in the year he’s already shown you the signs. Get out.
 

One thing Jessica’s post and the Netflix documentary about Shanann Watts points out is that we never truly know what’s going on behind closed doors in someone’s life.

Our social media highlight reels can be authentic as can be, or they can just be one big cover for all the things we don’t want others to see. I hope that we all learn from the Watts’ story to ask our friends and loved ones what is truly going on in their lives and to be that safe person anyone can open up to.

RELATED: From the Other Side of Survival

If you are in a domestic violence situation, please get out while you still can. Jessica offers some resources and encouragement in her post and I will repeat them here:

24 Hour National Confidential Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
“Stay Tough. Stay Alive.”

Your life is WORTH it. Please reach out for help!

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jenny Rapson

Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

In: Living
Woman wading in shallow pond with rocks

I’m in the years where I’m not old, but I’m no longer young. Some women my age are just announcing their first pregnancies, while others like me are navigating pre-teen and teenage years. The 30s hold a different kind of tension. The days move faster now. Not because little feet are toddling through the house, but because the calendar is always full. Afternoons are spent running kids to practices, sitting in parking lots, and juggling dinner between drop-offs and pick-ups. The conversations are deeper. The questions are bigger. The stakes feel higher. This season isn’t about sticky fingers and sleepless...

Keep Reading

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

In: Living
Woman looking at water

I didn’t need a sick day. I needed a well day—and I didn’t realize how much until I finally took one. We’ve labeled our time off into neat, acceptable categories. Sick days are for fevers and doctor appointments. Personal days are reserved for emergencies and obligations. But what about the in-between days? When there’s no real diagnosable health issue and no major event or appointment that needs attendance. The days when there’s nothing technically wrong, but everything feels off.  A day when you’re barely hanging on, but still showing up. That’s where the well day comes in. On behalf of...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

In: Living, Motherhood
Little girl looking in the mirror

It took me 39 years to like myself. I mean really, honestly look in the mirror and say, “You go, girl.” I understand the concept of progress, not perfection, but the idea of always working on myself became a tiring and unrelenting objective. Here I was shrinking that waist, smoothing my skin, studying hard, working way too late, and often burning the candle at both ends to yield results that were still less than the ideal. It’s all well and good to be a doer who sets reasonable and sometimes unreasonable goals, but throughout my teens and into my early...

Keep Reading

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

In: Living
Teen girl sitting on grass looking at fountain

Dear Graduate, I know you’re feeling it all right now. Anticipation, trepidation, and then other times, you don’t know what to feel at all. I know because I once felt the same. I graduated from high school several years ago, and here’s what I want you to know: It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out. Sounds cliché, but it’s true. Whether you plan to attend college, take a gap year, get a job, or you don’t know yet what you want to do, it’s okay. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It’s so easy to fall into the...

Keep Reading

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

In: Living
Family at mother's graduation

From a young age, I knew what I wanted my future career to look like. I pursued a path in healthcare, determined to use my gift for compassion to help others. I loved it. Being a small part of someone’s life during vulnerable moments made me feel like I was truly living out God’s calling on my life. Until I had children of my own. The work I did was exhausting—physically, mentally, and emotionally. What I didn’t anticipate was how that exhaustion would grow once I had children waiting for me at the end of each day. I was giving...

Keep Reading

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

In: Living
Woman holding baby standing by window

I was pregnant with my first baby in 2023, and my pregnancy was “picture perfect,” or so I was told. I went to all of my appointments, and every time I was reassured that everything looked great. My weight gain was “normal,” my baby was measuring appropriately, and his heartbeat was strong. My blood pressure was always a little elevated, but no one seemed concerned. Everything was fine…until it wasn’t. Looking back, I knew deep down something wasn’t right when I gained 10 pounds between my May and June appointments. I brushed it off, blaming a recent trip to Texas...

Keep Reading

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

In: Friendship
Woman walking away

Ever since Ashley Tisdale wrote about leaving her toxic mom group, I have noticed something shift among women my age, moms in our 40s who built friendships through school drop-offs, soccer sidelines, neighborhood walks, and birthday parties. Here is the thing….no one wants to be labeled the “mean girls mom group.” Recently, I was out to dinner with a friend when she shared something that stuck with me. A woman had quietly left their local moms’ group and later treated them as if they were exclusionary. The final straw? She had sent a group text at dinnertime and no one...

Keep Reading

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother with three grown daughters

During my oldest daughter’s freshman year of college, I started being haunted by a recurring dream of an old-fashioned suitcase—one of those hard-sided ones that’s as big as they come. In the dream, when I open the suitcase, it’s overflowing with clothing, shoes, and all kinds of stuff that belongs to me and each of my three daughters. Everything in the suitcase is all jumbled together. Nobody else in the dream is worried about sorting through everything, but I am totally stressed about it. To top it all off, I have to deal with this suitcase while preparing for a...

Keep Reading

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking over canyon

Insecurity is something we all carry in one form or another. For me, it has probably always looked confident and outgoing from the outside. But internally, it can feel heavy, complicated, and exhausting at times. And when someone comes along whose behavior reinforces those insecurities, it amplifies what was already there. There was someone I had hoped to genuinely connect with, but it was clear from the start that the feeling wasn’t mutual. From the beginning, their wall was up. No matter how kind I tried to be or how carefully I showed up, it never came down. Their distance...

Keep Reading

My In-Laws Don’t Like Me and It Breaks My Heart

In: Living
Family silhouette by the water

Since I was a little girl, I dreamed of what it might be like to gain an entire family when I got married. My parents were lovely. I never wanted for anything, and I had very involved grandparents. However, any other family was far away, and much of my childhood was lonely. I dreamed of brothers-in-law or sisters-in-law and their spouses to do life with. Maybe we would go on road trips together or stay in and play games and have a few drinks. I dreamed of raising our kids together and giving my children the cousin memories I only...

Keep Reading