Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.
As a young girl, I remember hearing this song and not truly understanding what it meant at the time. As an adult, I see the value in it. True friendships, especially for women, are priceless and worth more than any amount of silver or gold. We are bonded, like a family or community.
The friendships we have as children and the friendships we gain as we get older are not the same.
Some of the best relationships in my life are with my childhood friends. These women knew me as a young girl and have stuck with me through every ridiculous hairstyle, fashion trend, and idiots I dated. We’ve grown up together playing flashlight tag, giggling over our crushes, talking about first milestones together, driving to the movies, and being there for one another’s major life moments. Our friendships have witnessed love, birth, divorce, and death. Years can go by, and when we talk, it’s as if time hasn’t stopped and we pick up where we left off.
We aren’t the young ladies we once were who depended on our parents to drive us around or had summer babysitting jobs. Now, we are grown and have matured, finding wisdom in our experiences and strength from our friendships, learning from our happiness and pain.
We are bonded by the innocence of our childhood and connected by a lifetime of memories.
We knew each other before significant relationships, careers, or children defined who we are. We’ve seen each other as young teenagers, and young adults and have witnessed wedding showers, baby showers, and funerals. We have laughed until we cried, talked so much our cheeks hurt, and cried from happiness and heartbreak. When we visit, we talk too much, interrupt each other often, laugh until we almost pee our pants, and leave our visits reflecting on memories from our past and present.
We have grown together and apart, still bonded by a friendship that has become family—sisters from another mister. It’s a priceless friendship and an unforgettable bond, no matter the distance or time between us. These women are my rocks, and we know the dirt of each other’s past that sits below the hard surface.
More newly formed, adult friendships are often defined by being someone’s mom or significant other. There have been countless times, I’ve met other women in the school drop-off and pick-up line or at sports events, and we introduce ourselves as being somebody’s mom. We put our role as being a parent before our own name. Weeks, months, or years might go by, and we don’t know the other woman’s name because we identify her first as being someone’s mom.
Our adult friendships are often formed because of a significant other, work, or children—most often our children.
We bond over school connections, mom’s groups, sports, support groups, or church. Our connections are often because of common interests our children have or similar family values. These mom friendships are special and necessary. We support one another to stay updated about school events, know who our children are spending time with, and be active in their extra-curricular events.
The friendships we form as children and adults are all special and serve unique purposes. One isn’t better than the other. I’m thankful for all of these different types of friendships. These women have lifted me up, and we have walked difficult journeys together. I hope I have been as good of a friend to them as they have to me.
True friends are the ones who lift you up no matter how down you feel. They show up with your favorite foods at parties. They aren’t jealous of your success or when you make life changes that seem out of the ordinary. They support you, don’t judge you, and love you. True friends are honest enough to tell you when you are not in a good place and help you do better by holding you accountable in a loving way.
When you are going through rough times, they surprise you with prayer, gifts, time, love, or words of encouragement. These friends surprise you and come over to help you pack up your house when you move, visit you with a newborn baby, bring comfort meals, help you when you are sick, or listen to you when your life is falling apart. They love you and support you no matter what.
Friendships of old and new all hold special places in our hearts.
We are bonded by the love, experiences, memories, happiness, and pain witnessed in those chapters of our lives. Our growth and peace wouldn’t have been possible without the love of friendships that are silver or gold. Silver and gold never go out of style, just like true friendships.