“Would you rather be right, or happy?”
The words ring in my ears as I bite my tongue. I “bite my tongue” so hard sometimes that I think it might actually bleed.
I know though, that I desperately need this saying, this mantra. I need it because in my own perfect little world, I AM always right!
Right?
Wrong.
I would definitely rather be happy than right—but this has been one of the hardest life lessons I have ever had to learn.
It has also been one of the hardest marriage lessons I have ever been blessed enough to learn.
Here’s the thing: I know when I have a strong opinion on something, I can dig in my heels, stand my ground, and draw that line in the sand. But I have finally realized that sometimes, standing that ground, on my own side of that line, can be a pretty lonely place to be.
Over the past year, this nightmare of tragedy-filled news, political warfare, and he vs. she, I have turned my thoughts inward. I may not be able to make a huge difference in the world at large, but is there a way I can somehow make a difference in my own family of six?
Can I make our home a more positive place, so the six of us can go out into the world with a little bit brighter aura? Can I spread a little extra peace from our own front door? And can it start with just me?
The answer is absolutely. This is something I can control, so I am working on it everyday.
I don’t have to be right.
Even though I may be “Mom” which so often also means The Organizer, or The Planner . . . I don’t have to rule each day. In fact, I don’t have to rule each meal, or each bedtime routine, or even each weekend schedule. I can simply go with the flow.
I don’t have to pick out every outfit for my little one, so it matches perfectly. I don’t have to be the one to decide how we discipline or potty train, what activities we sign up for, or what our summer plans will be. I don’t have to have a say in how my stepchildren are raised. I don’t need to voice an opinion on every latest political fiasco.
I simply don’t.
What I do need to do more of is listen.
Support.
Allow.
Understand.
Cooperate.
Agree.
Compromise.
Encourage.
These are all words I am trying to incorporate more regularly into my daily grind of motherhood, wife-hood, and stepmotherhood.
And really, couldn’t we all?
Because sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to simply let him be right.
It doesn’t matter whether “he” is your husband, your teenager, or your toddler.
Once in a while, just let him be right.
If you can’t always be both happy AND right, you might as well both be happy!
(Right?)