Recently I read something about adoption that went viral. Being an adoptive mom, I like when adoption stories gain a lot of positive attention. This particular piece certainly did. It was beautiful! But I have one small problem with it. The social worker referred to the baby as a “stork drop situation.” I’m not really a fan of that language. Apparently stork drop adoptions are when the baby is already born and the agency is looking to place the baby immediately with a family.
According to that definition two of my babies could be considered stork drops. But no, they absolutely were not dropped by a stork or fell out of the sky. I get that it’s a cutesy term and not one to be taken literally. But I still don’t like it.
I promise you that I’m not overly sensitive when it comes to adoption or otherwise. I understand that a lot of people don’t always get the ins and outs of adoption. I am more than happy to give people the benefit of the doubt. But this is an adoption professional whom I assume learned that lingo from the adoption agency. That worries me a bit.
My biggest problem with that term is that it implies these babies came out of nowhere. That’s simply not true. They were created in the same basic way that you and I were. All 3 of my children (whether I knew they were coming or not) have birth parents who lovingly brought them into this world. They deserve credit for that. To refer to children as stork drop situations implies there were no parents. I will never dismiss the important role that my childrens’ other parents play. Without them, my kids simply would not exist.
Not only does the term stork drop eliminate the birth parents it takes away that biological connection for the kids. Kids want to know where they came from. And that’s a basic human right. They should have that right like most of us do. I know that life isn’t fair and it doesn’t always work out that way. My heart breaks for those who don’t get to know their story in its entirety.
Unfortunately, my youngest daughter’s adoption is closed. Unless something changes, my youngest won’t know where she came from. She won’t get to know her first mom, the woman who brought her into this world. But she will absolutely know that she wasn’t dropped out of the sky, delivered by a random stork. She’ll know she has birth parents who have their reasons for staying in the shadows. But most importantly she’ll know she is loved and very much wanted. Just like my other kids and all of yours.
And to that family featured in the piece that went viral… congratulations on your newest miracle!