By Krystal Sieben 
In defense of the messy kid—because I am the messy kid.
First and foremost, I totally get (especially as a mom) how overwhelming it can be living with a mess. This isn’t an excuse; more so, it’s an explanation. We messy kids are trying. Like, hard. Now, I know it doesn’t seem like it to someone fortunate enough to be inherently tidy. But we are.
My biggest fights with my mom growing up were about this very thing. She perceived my messiness as laziness. Every towel on the floor was an act of rebellion or carelessness—or the worst one, being spoiled. Every dish left out was seen as “How hard can it be?!?” And I get it. When you are good at it, it LOOKS easy. Easy to spot the crumbs, the counter that needs to be wiped down, the clothes that need to be put away.
But as a messy person, speaking for the vast majority of current and former messy kids, most of the time, we honestly just don’t see it. Truly.
We might not see it because we are busy being a great big sister, or the anxious kid who always tells the truth, or the kind kid who sits with people who don’t have anyone to sit with, or the thoughtful kid who never forgets a birthday. It’s like our minds are so full of all the things, the mess just isn’t at the front of that line.
In college, I was the messy roommate. The one who was hard to live with because I was messy. But here’s the thing—I was also working two jobs, never having uninvited guests, and there to help with rides or talks or share my food. I was a good roommate in many capacities, but just not at keeping house things.
As a mom, I (like many of us) have a very messy car. It does bother me, but I drive my three kids and their friends all over. I stop at McDonald’s on a whim. I let them get in wet and sandy from the beach. I never say no to bringing house things along for the ride. I’m the first one in the pick-up line at the end of the school day, and no one is ever yelled at if they spill. And I hope that is what my kids remember . . . instead of the wrappers on the floor.
Messiness gets a bad rap. And believe me, we messy kids wish we were different. But no one is good at everything, right? Maybe you are tidy, but it’s tough to remember those birthdays. Maybe you are ultraclean, but terrible at being on time. Maybe you are organized to a T, but somewhat demanding and gruff. Being clean is an awesome trait, and it’s one we are reminded we don’t have every day. And when we are reminded or scolded or shamed or any of the things, it’s shameful, embarrassing, and deflating. Can you imagine if your worst quality was one that people easily noticed, criticized, or even punished you for?
In those moments when you are exasperated with the mess, try to remember that. We don’t want to be messy. Honest. We will work on it. But we will probably always be messy. And kind. And fun. And creative. And thoughtful. And trying.
Sincerely,
All the people with messy rooms, unorganized desks, crumpled papers, and unmade beds.
by Kimberly Phyfe 
by Ashley Moore 
by Blair Cissell 
