The other night, I was lying in bed, mulling over the fact that soon I will be 40 years old. I know, you’ve seen my picture on my bio and you think, 40?! I easily pegged you at 27ish. I get it all the time actually . . . okay . . . mainly from myself, but that’s neither here nor there.
What is here is the fact that not only do I know I’m soon to be 40, but my body, people around me and my internet search history know it, too. I’ve tried to very lovingly and whole-heartedly embrace the new journey that is quickly approaching but it’s hard.
I remember when I couldn’t wait to be ten and in the double digits. That quickly died out to waiting impatiently to become a teenager. Then I waited to be 16 so I could date, and then 18 so I could pretend to be an adult, and finally 21 when I was adulting.
What I don’t remember is ever saying, how much I couldn’t wait to be 40.
In fact, I remember thinking how old 40 was and that I’d probably be a decrepit old lady, walking with a cane and a Nanny McPhee type mole thing going on. I can’t imagine what kind of 40-year-old I’ll be but I know I can’t avoid it. I mean, I know I can only ride out this, “I’m 27ish” thing for so long, right? After a long hard talk with myself on living in reality, I decided the best way to deal with turning 40 would be to grab a notepad and write down everything that’s happening in my life that’s pointing to my next birthday. When I was done, I’d actually laughed more than I’d cried.
Here’s my list of 25 tell-tale signs that I’m turning 40:
- My daughter’s look of amazement when I sing a song from “her generation”
- Commenting how late it is, then looking at my watch that reads “7:30 p.m.”
- The fact that #2 is actually about a watch, not a smartwatch
- A multitude of gray hair you know where
- My body’s theme music is “snap, crackle, pop”
- Getting offended when the waiter doesn’t card me
- Spicy food’s amazing entrance and unrelenting exit
- Being asked if I want my mustache waxed along with my eyebrows
- Wondering if my new outfit screams, “sexy” or “mid-life crisis”
- Googling “how to make kitten heels look sexy”
- Googling “how long til menopause”
- Recognizing my high school closet in the vintage section of the thrift store
- Drinking coffee for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
- Constantly commenting, “This new generation is something else!”
- Buying push-up bras to one-up gravity
- Finally embracing the fact that people’s opinions are just that . . . theirs
- Finally believing I haven’t failed as a Momma
- Wishing I’d started the habit of exercising when I was 20
- Squinting when reading even though I don’t have to
- Apologizing for excessive flatulence due to a much-needed increase of fiber
- “Wait, did I tell you this already?” is my new catch phrase
- Waking up mid sleep not realizing I was asleep
- Only purchasing ointments, body washes, and lotions with the words, “firming, tightening, or smoothing” written on the label
- Looking at my Momma, realizing how gracefully I’m going to age
- Embracing the life God has given me thus far, ready to tackle whatever lies ahead