A Gift for Mom! 🤍

When my mother passed away, my sisters and I divided up her collection of teacups. We took turns and drafted them like football players. Which ones did we want on our team of dishes? There was probably slight bickering over who got to choose first, but mainly I remember thinking, I don’t feel grown up enough to have my own teacup.

In my twenties, the teacups, wrapped carefully in newspaper, stayed in a box under my bed. I mainly drank coffee on my way to work, and didn’t have the space for fancy teacups in my small apartment kitchen. I certainly didn’t have the space for the memoires they evoked; those teacups did not have room for my tears. 

So many of my memories of my mother included those fragile cups. I would take a look at one and immediately remember …

As a child, while under the dining room table feeding my baby doll, I hear the clink of cup against saucer, but mostly I hear the laughter of my mom. Visits to my grandmother’s house usually involved tea, my aunts, and laughter. Although I am lost in a jumble of legs, I am able to easily distinguish my mother’s laughter from the rest. 

***

In bed with sorrow camouflaged as a cold, I try to hide my tears when my mom brings me a cup of tea. I can’t stop crying over the death of my cat. I feel horrible that I am crying more now than I did at my great-grandmother’s funeral. She sits on the edge of my bed, tucks my stuffed bear under my arm, and shares my cup of tea.

***

Washed in early morning light, with teacup in hand, my mom bends over the newspaper in her faded pink robe and head of wild, blonde curls. She glances up and smiles when I stumble into the kitchen with my book bag slung over my shoulder. She immediately stands and begins to make me breakfast.

***

Her work is finally done. After hours of cleaning and cooking for everyone else, she is now able to lean back in her chair and kick off her shoes. My mom slowly stirs two teaspoons of sugar into her tea as she surveys her family, full of turkey and mashed potatoes, lounging around the living room. These are the moments she revels in – family, food, and laughter. She does not know yet that there will not be many more Thanksgivings like this.

***

The tea kettle hisses and spits, and I reach to take it off the burner. “Not yet, Sarah. It has to whistle.” The whistling takes forever. I question why we just can’t microwave a cup of tea and am only met with a glare. I stand impatiently next to the stove as my mom sits equally impatiently in her wheelchair, unable to stand and take over the task.

***

I eventually purchased my own house with plenty of cabinet space, and the teacups found a home. I unwrapped the fragile cups from the old, faded newspaper and placed them in a high cabinet over the refrigerator. They stay tucked away except for special occasions.

When the house is quiet after my children are in bed, and I finally have a moment to myself, I make my tea in a mug. I sense my mother’s disproval as I put it in the microwave instead of waiting for a kettle to boil.

Occasionally, my sister visits, and we carefully pull out the teacups. We sit at the dining room table and sip our tea while our children push toys and play with dolls on the floor beneath us. I laugh as she tells me how her daughter gave herself a haircut, or she laughs when I tell her how my son has taken to undressing and just hanging out in his underpants. 

When my sister leaves, I nervously hand wash the cups. I am sometimes afraid that I will hold on too tight, and my favorite cup will shatter. I leave them to dry on the counter, far from the ledge. I am anxious to put them away.

My mother, however, used to drink out of her teacups daily. Perhaps there is a lesson there. Life is fleeting, this I know all too well. But, I want to keep these memories safe, so I carefully return the cups to the dark cabinet.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Sarah Clouser

Sarah is a current stay-at-home mom. After years of teaching high school English, she is enjoying focusing on her two children while learning to slow down and look at the world through their eyes. She has learned more about dinosaurs and princesses in the past few years than she ever thought possible. She recently started writing about parenting on her blog, https://onemilesmile.wordpress.com/

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

In: Grief
Woman holding fish

They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I found that to be most true when my grandma passed. Like many grandmas, she was the best. She was kind and tender, but firm when she needed to be. She gave her time freely and used her baking talent to bless others. She had little and needed little, yet she had a way of drawing people together. There wasn’t a day I can remember when someone didn’t call her or stop by. She seemed to have all the answers and somehow knew how to fix almost any problem....

Keep Reading

My Parents Will Never See This Face

In: Grief
Woman with sunglasses shown in rear view mirror

You’ve had that moment, right? That moment when you don’t recognize the woman standing in front of you. Her hair is grayer. The skin around her eyes is a bit darker. Even without noticing the small details, that face is different. It’s aged. And as I stared at her yesterday afternoon, all dolled up and nowhere to go, it dawned on me: My parents will never see this version of me. My mom will never get to see hands that look like hers. She’ll never recognize the wrinkles or the sun spots. My father-in-law joked about gray hair with my...

Keep Reading

The Due Date that Never Comes

In: Grief, Loss, Miscarriage
Woman walking down path

It is not often talked about. I completely understand why, but when going through something so heartbreaking and devastating, women shouldn’t have to suffer alone or in silence. If you’ve gone through it, you probably already know what I’m referring to – miscarriage. It is the reason many couples don’t tell people they are expecting until after the first trimester. It is so unfortunately common that one in four women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. According to the National Institutes of Health, 15-20 percent of pregnancies will end in miscarriage, and it is the most common pregnancy complication...

Keep Reading

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

In: Grief, Living
Black and white photo of older man in garden

I was never meant to be a plant person. I’m the woman who can kill a succulent on the way home from the store. Once, a fern sighed in my direction and gave up. That is my spiritual gift. My grandpa Dominic would have laughed—hard. He loved to laugh. And sing hymns passionately in Italian. He was an Italian immigrant who lost his arm working in a mill, and still, he woke up every morning and dressed like dignity itself. He shopped for my grandma. He fixed what was broken. And he tended the biggest, happiest garden you’ve ever seen....

Keep Reading

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

In: Grief
Woman with mother smiling in older photo

Recently, whenever I look in the mirror, I see a strong resemblance to my mother.  People always said I looked like her, but I never really saw it until now. I think it may be because you always think of your parents as being older than you are. At the age of 61, I am now only two years away from the age my mother was when she died. The only good thing about dying young is that everyone will remember you that way.  I have only known my mom as the vibrant, personable, and active woman she was. Well,...

Keep Reading

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman and young daughter smiling

Editor’s note: This post discusses child loss Child loss changes Mother’s Day. My 19-month-old, Julia, died suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2024. Three months later, her autopsy revealed she had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (B-ALL, also known as SUDNIC). Julia died a week after we did an embryo transfer at an IVF clinic in an attempt to have a second child. We found out three days after Julia’s death that the embryo did not make it either. Six months later, we did another embryo transfer that succeeded, and I now have an 8-month-old daughter, Lucy Mei (“Mei Mei” means “little...

Keep Reading

I Miss Having Parents

In: Grief
Grown daughter posing between smiling parents

I have been living with the ache of loss for so long that I truly don’t remember what it feels like not to carry it. Sometimes it rests quietly beneath my ribs, dormant and almost polite. Other times it rises without warning—on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, in the middle of a coffee line—and cuts straight through me. Today, it was a song. I was waiting for my coffee when “Pictures of You” by The Cure drifted through the café speakers. I hadn’t heard it in 20 years. In my twenties, it meant heartbreak—young love unraveling, relationships ending before they were...

Keep Reading

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

In: Grief

Nobody tells you that when you lose a sibling, your entire childhood flashes before your eyes. There’s no better witness to what you experienced growing up than that one person who was standing nearby for all of it. And when they’re gone, a part of that childhood and a part of that story goes with them, because it was only ever known between the two of you. There’s no last chance to say, “Remember when?” or to laugh about the things that made you laugh to tears together, a million times at the kitchen table. There’s no last conversation about...

Keep Reading

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

In: Grief
Sad woman looking off to the side

I survived losing my father after his long, grueling battle with cancer. It was one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I had a front row seat to watch cancer pick him apart piece by piece. When you lose a parent, you lose a part of yourself. They say time heals all wounds, but you never stop missing the good ones, and there are days when it feels like it just happened. By the grace of God, I survived, but I will always miss my father. Then, almost a decade later, I lost the career that helped me...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

In: Grief
Woman sitting and crying on floor

During the weeks we cared for my grandmother in hospice, survival mode felt necessary. There were medications to track. Visitors to update. Logistics to manage. I remember sitting on the couch that served as my makeshift bed and listening to the rhythmic hissing and puffing of the oxygen machine one night. While my mom showered off the day, I texted my sister updates and sent my husband a quick message of love. I could still smell the lavender candle we had lit earlier in the day to mask medical scents. The house was quiet, but my mind wasn’t. I was...

Keep Reading