So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉
SearchSearch
SearchSearch

Motherhood, Teen

To My Teenager: We’ll Do This Together

  • 3  Minute Read
Teenager looking out at the beach
Image via Elizabeth Spencer

To my teenager,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for what I said this morning. I’m sorry for the way I said it.

I know I can be a little hard to live with sometimes. Or maybe a lot hard.

I know I can be moody.

I know you don’t understand some of the rules I make.

I know it feels like I’m trying to hang on to you.

I know I drive you crazy sometimes.

I know being a teenager is hard for you.

But the thing is, it’s hard for me, too.

I’m trying to walk a road I’ve never been down before. I’m still trying to figure this out.

While I’m doing that, I need you to know a few things that don’t need any figuring out at all . . . things I already know for sure.

I need you to know that I believe in you even when—especially when—you don’t believe in yourself.

I need you to know that I’m going to do my best to guide you, even if you act like you resent that guidance.

I need you to know that I’m cheering for you.

I need you to know that I trust you. I need you to know that I’m going to expect you to honor that trust.

I need you to know that I’m trying to develop thicker skin.

I need you to know that I’m trying to keep a soft heart that can give out tough love.

I need you to know that I’m going to try to help your still-under-construction mind think further down the road than it would on its own.

I need you to know that I’m going to set boundaries . . . not because I’m trying to keep you from something good but because I’m trying to keep you for something better.

I need you to know I’m going to let you deal with the consequences of your actions. I need you to know that I’ll help you pick up the pieces of the consequences of your actions.

I need you to know that I’m proud of you, even when you’re ashamed of yourself.

I need you to know that I love spending time with you even if you act like you don’t want anything to do with me.

I need you to know that I love you no matter what.

I know we’re both feeling our way along here. I know we’re going to frustrate and fail and disappoint each other along the way.

But down the road, when we get to the other side of these years, I hope with all my heart we’ll also both know this: we got there together.

This post originally appeared on Guilty Chocoholic Mama

 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Her View Shop

So God Made A Mama Tee So God Made A Mama Tee

Articles by Elizabeth Spencer

Elizabeth Spencer

Elizabeth Spencer is mom to two daughters (one teen and one young adult) who regularly dispense love, affection, and brutally honest fashion advice. She writes about faith, food, and family (with some occasional funny thrown in) at Guilty Chocoholic Mama and avoids working on her 100-year-old farmhouse by spending time on Facebook and Twitter.

Twitter: Elizabeth Spencer Facebook: Elizabeth Spencer Pinterest: Elizabeth Spencer

God Holds Her Every Step of the Way
In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding infant baby's feet, color photo
by Megan Kewaza

We were told she wouldn’t make it to 20 weeks. When she made it, we were told she wouldn’t survive to full-term. When she survived to full-term, we were told she wouldn’t grow properly. When she grew, she thrived. When she thrived, she confused the doctors. RELATED: Keep Fighting, Little Miracle When the doctors tried to find the science to explain away her defeating all the odds, I had the answers. God. Prayers. Miracles. At 10 weeks when I found out about her condition, I prayed. I gathered my prayer warriors, and we prayed. Ultrasound after ultrasound, the technician was...

Keep Reading

Our Kids Need to See Us Slow Down Too
In: Living, Motherhood
Friends with feet up around a fire pit, color photo
by Michelle Burge

I have a girlfriend who has a lake house just over an hour away. It’s in a small town that has a local Mexican restaurant with a fun, easy-going staff that feels like they have to be family. There have been times over the last few years that something about that casual, bright restaurant with its rowdy waiters and surprisingly outstanding, cheap food makes me feel so content. The small lake town is not that far from home, but it feels far enough away to be unavailable to my responsibilities and have a tiny piece of that vacation vibe (without...

Keep Reading

When the Last Baby Graduates
In: Grown Children, Living, Motherhood
Graduate with parents smiling, cap and gown
by Sydnei Kaplan

We’ve been through this before, so we know the waves of emotions that roll through us. When our kids graduate—be it from preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, or college—we moms come to terms with one season ending and a new one beginning. RELATED: I Blinked and You Went From Kindergarten to College When it’s your last child who is graduating from college, this can feel like uncharted territory. Yes, we know that we find new rhythms to our relationship from having gone through this with our other child(ren). But we as moms have not yet left the college...

Keep Reading

The Face In the Mirror Has Changed, But It Tells My Story
In: Living, Motherhood
Woman standing in kitchen next to roses, color photo
by Sherrill Pool Elizondo

If I were to do an inventory of my home of 42 years, I would get a grip on what should be thrown out, given away, or kept. The older I become, the more difficult it is for me to make these decisions. I attempted making a list of personal items I would like each of my sons to have (not that they wouldn’t get rid of them after I am gone) and have started thinking about items to bequeath to grandchildren. I believe I know which son would be happy to acquire books, which son would gladly be the...

Keep Reading

God Bless the Teenagers (and Their Parents!) Who Impact Our Young Kids
In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen coach with young rider on horse, color photo
by Krystal Sieben

Lucy wears tall riding boots and a helmet that looks like a bonnet when it’s hot out. Her hair is curly, but sometimes she straightens it. When I first met Lucy, she was wearing plaid pajama pants. My little girl, Ada, refuses to trim her nails because she wants them to be long, “just like Lucy’s.” I met Lucy almost four years ago when she was only 14. She carried herself like she was older. The ends of her hair were bleached, she had a quiet confidence that reminded me of an old friend. She took my daughter outside to...

Keep Reading

Before You, Boy, I Never Knew
In: Kids, Motherhood
Three boys playing in creek, color photo
by Melissa Burnett

Before you, boy, I never knew that little boys could get so dirty. Play so rough. Climb so high. Assess your risks. Make me hold my breath. Messes everywhere.   Before you, boy, I never knew how much my lap will make room for you. My arms will stretch to swallow you up in endless hugs and just hold you close. And love you to the moon and back. And back again. Snuggling and snuggling.  RELATED: I Met a Boy and He Changed Everything Before you, boy, I never knew that there would be so much wrestling. And superheroes, and far-off...

Keep Reading

But How Will I Let Her Go?
In: Motherhood, Teen
Mother standing with high school graduate
by Jennifer Hale

It was nothing as I pictured. Really. Nothing about it was how I thought it’d look, feel or be. I mean I knew I’d be emotional, duh, but all the rest of it was like a dream or something. A feeling I really can’t describe because it’s not how I’ve ever allowed myself to feel. All of the huge moments leading up to these past few days have been so insane. And the fact that I am who I am—and am obsessed with embracing them all and truly eating them up individually—had them come one by one but at lightning speed....

Keep Reading

Dear Son, As You Move on from Middle School
In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy getting into passenger side of car
by Debra Caffrey

When you were almost two years old, we were driving home from the library and a song that used to be one of your lullabies, the old Irish folk song “Carrickfergus,” was playing in the car. You put your hand to your heart and said “ohhh,” as if it was so beautiful to listen to that it was almost a little painful, which any good song can feel like. You weren’t quite speaking in total full sentences, but you were already super verbal. It was just one of those moments where you didn’t have to be though, because I understood...

Keep Reading

It’s the Flower Food Packet that Hurts
In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Flowers on a headstone
by Stefanie Kraus

It’s the flower food packet that gets you. That little plastic packet with the powder that keeps your flowers alive longer. The little packet you know you’ll never use because these flowers aren’t going in a vase. They’re going on the ground. RELATED: The Impossible Grief of Child Loss Hurts Forever Buying flowers for my baby’s grave is a normal process for me. Every so often, and especially around the time of year we lost our boy, I grab a bunch at our local grocer. I lay them carefully on top of where his very tiny body was laid to...

Keep Reading

As the Mom of a Teen, I Belong in the Backseat Now
In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver, color photo taken from the back seat
by Amy Keyes

I remember growing up, the best thing in the world was calling “shotgun!” and beating my sisters to the front seat of the car. The coveted seat next to my mom or dad—seeing the world from the grown-up view, instead of craning my neck around the huge barrel seats of our station wagon, trying to catch a glimpse of the wide world ahead of me. Somewhere along the way, early in my teen years, I stopped calling shotgun and headed straight for the back. While the view was smaller, it was mine alone. Facing out the rearview with my headphones...

Keep Reading

Kids

Thanks For the Memories, Coach Hart

Next Post

What It's Like to Raise a Boy

Child

What It's Like to Raise a Boy

You May Also Like

To the Mom Feeling Stuck in a Season of Can’t

Motherhood

To the Mom Feeling Stuck in a Season of Can’t

Dear Son, Sorry I Suck at Playing Cars

Child, Kids, Motherhood

Dear Son, Sorry I Suck at Playing Cars

The Joys and Lessons Learned Through Team Sports

Kids, Motherhood

The Joys and Lessons Learned Through Team Sports

Dear Stay-at-Home Moms, Your Work Doesn’t Go Unnoticed

Motherhood

Dear Stay-at-Home Moms, Your Work Doesn’t Go Unnoticed

To Find Good Friends, Be a Good Friend

Friendship, Living

To Find Good Friends, Be a Good Friend

I Nearly Died after a Routine C-Section

Baby, Motherhood

I Nearly Died after a Routine C-Section

Raising a Teenage Girl Is a Thing of Beauty

Journal, Kids, Teen

Raising a Teenage Girl Is a Thing of Beauty

I’d Do It All Again Just to Have These Moments with You

Motherhood

I’d Do It All Again Just to Have These Moments with You