To my teenager,
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for what I said this morning. I’m sorry for the way I said it.
I know I can be a little hard to live with sometimes. Or maybe a lot hard.
I know I can be moody.
I know you don’t understand some of the rules I make.
I know it feels like I’m trying to hang on to you.
I know I drive you crazy sometimes.
I know being a teenager is hard for you.
But the thing is, it’s hard for me, too.
I’m trying to walk a road I’ve never been down before. I’m still trying to figure this out.
While I’m doing that, I need you to know a few things that don’t need any figuring out at all . . . things I already know for sure.
I need you to know that I believe in you even when—especially when—you don’t believe in yourself.
I need you to know that I’m going to do my best to guide you, even if you act like you resent that guidance.
I need you to know that I’m cheering for you.
I need you to know that I trust you. I need you to know that I’m going to expect you to honor that trust.
I need you to know that I’m trying to develop thicker skin.
I need you to know that I’m trying to keep a soft heart that can give out tough love.
I need you to know that I’m going to try to help your still-under-construction mind think further down the road than it would on its own.
I need you to know that I’m going to set boundaries . . . not because I’m trying to keep you from something good but because I’m trying to keep you for something better.
I need you to know I’m going to let you deal with the consequences of your actions. I need you to know that I’ll help you pick up the pieces of the consequences of your actions.
I need you to know that I’m proud of you, even when you’re ashamed of yourself.
I need you to know that I love spending time with you even if you act like you don’t want anything to do with me.
I need you to know that I love you no matter what.
I know we’re both feeling our way along here. I know we’re going to frustrate and fail and disappoint each other along the way.
But down the road, when we get to the other side of these years, I hope with all my heart we’ll also both know this: we got there together.
This post originally appeared on Guilty Chocoholic Mama