I’ve seen many lists that display the best type of mom friends you should keep. As I read through these lists, a piece of me always disagrees. Here’s the problem with the “Type Of Mom Friends You Need” lists, they are excluding very valuable people.
You see; some of my closest friends are not in fact fellow moms. They are women who don’t have children or their children are grown. These women contribute to my life in momentous ways. I literally shutter at the thought of them not being in my life.
I decided to create a new and improved list of friends that all women should keep. And sure, there are types of mom friends you need and I included those significant friendships in the top three. However, the remainder of the list is comprised of those companionships that truly add value to your life (these numbers may even be fellow moms, but they don’t have to be).
The Playdate Mom Friend
This is your tried and true, down for anything, mom friend. You can count on her to always say yes to any social event that involves the kids. She will hit every park, take the kids swimming, head out for ice cream and even go on a small road trip. This one never holds back, she and the kids are down for anything.
The No Matter What Mom Friend
You and said friend get together with or without the kids. And when you do get together with the kids, you forget they’re there, because you’re so deep in conversation and laughter. You constantly comment on how surprised you are that the two of you didn’t discover each other pre-parenthood. You share a deep connection, you rarely talk about motherhood and you may even drop the “you’re my best friend” bomb on this fellow mom.
The School Mom Friend
“Ugh. I forgot juice boxes for the kids’ Easter Party today. Can you grab some on your way to school?” This friend has your back, reminds you of teacher workdays and complains with you about the ridiculous school rules. You see them almost everyday and pickup each other’s slack, because let’s be honest, being a school mom is tough.
The Long Distance Friend
This one is likely a childhood or college friend. Your relationship goes beyond the here and now, this one asks if your Uncle is still crazy and sees your mom in the grocery store. You can chat on the phone for hours, laugh over old memories and are still reserving that Oceanside view room in the hippest old folks home. Hold onto this one, as life advances, fewer and fewer people know and appreciate your life story.
The Family Friend
If you have a big family like I do, you are likely pretty close with a fellow member. You and said cousin or sister-in-law can be found in the bathroom during family events, sneaking an extra glass of wine. You take vacations together and love doing life in each other’s company. You will be together forever, celebrate holidays with laughter and console each other during family funerals. This is a special relationships, it’s sacred, don’t cloud it with family turmoil.
The Older Woman
We all need to surrender to the fact that we don’t know everything. There is always someone older and wiser than us to guide our journey. You benefit from their experience and mistakes, you are constantly seeking advice and you’ve cried once or twice in their company. Life is one big ole’ lesson and you can’t get through it without surrendering your know-it-all attitude and leaning on a wise friend.
The Neighborhood Friend
Neighborhood friends are vital. Sometimes you don’t want to get in the car and drive to a friends house, sometimes you need someone to water your plants, sometimes you need to throw a block party. You probably see these friends more than anyone else on this list. They’ve heard you yell at your kids, fight with your husband and chase your escape artist dogs. They are the first to pop by for a cup of coffee or glass of wine.
For me, the coworker friend is either someone that works with my husband or a fellow wife. These people get the dynamic of your job, understand the hard hours and can laugh at the ridiculous drama. You attend work functions together and create an alliance of shared whispers. Life is made up of working hours and having friends that understand your day to day is more than critical.
The Cut From The Same Cloth Friend
This is the holy grail of friends. This is your girl. And sure, she may also be someone who covers one or more of the above categories. She laughs with you, cries with you, parties with you, goes to church with you, has become your family and just gets you. You and her are wildly alike. You watch the same tv shows and indulge in the same desserts. You know each other’s family and are the first people you call in a crisis. She is, and always will be, speed dial number one on your phone.