Me: “How was your day, baby?”

The Hubby: “Well actually a car bomb went off about a mile away from us — it shook our whole building.”   *(paraphrased)

Welcome to deployment…

My husband Jerromy is currently deployed and serving in Afghanistan. He left in December and will (hopefully) be back home after his 9 months there. We just recently got married in October 2015 a little before he was called to duty. This is actually his second deployment to Afghanistan, but as for me, I am new to this whole Army life. During his first deployment, Jerromy and I were friends who became pen-pals during his months across the Atlantic. So, while I was part of the first one from a distance, it was (and is) much different to have your husband overseas. My view from home is a little different than it was before.

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He has been overseas now for about 3 months, although it feels like it’s been about a year already. For the most part, everything has gone pretty okay. We are so blessed to live in an age of technology where texting, phone calls, and FaceTime can keep us connected despite the distance. We don’t have to rely on snail mail to give updates — although we do still send the occasional hand-written love letter. Despite the 7,000 miles and 9.5 hour time difference, we still get to talk every day and for that I am so thankful.

So fast forward to this week, when we were texting during (my) morning and (his) night. A very routine thing for us — when I asked about his day. Turns out, it wasn’t like every other day up until this point. There had been an explosion by a terrorist group about a mile away from their living quarters. It is Afghanistan after all. So when he let me know about that bomb– it felt like one had dropped right in my office at work as well.

He immediately assured me that everyone (in his unit), including himself, were okay. However, it turns out it, this attack did kill 28 people and injured hundreds more.

I began asking a million questions.

The tears welling in my eyes started streaming down my face.

Every ‘what if’ scenario played through my head over and over again.

Followed by praying and thanking God for answering my prayers and keeping them safe.

And you know what I did next? Got mad at him for telling me something so nonchalantly over a text message. I took out my fear with anger on Jerromy. Way to be a great wife…

The thing is, he didn’t want to even tell me. He loves me too much to want me to worry about situations that could have been. He figured if he made it sound like no big deal — then I would see it that way too. But to me, it was a BIG deal.

Although I pray for his safety every day, you don’t really think about what could happen. You just can’t allow your mind to go there. So when something like this hits so close to home — it makes your eyes open. Maybe opened too much, as I cried myself into a slight panic attack in the bathroom at work. Tears of fear. Of thankfulness. Of anger.

And of praise. I absolutely know with my whole being, that God kept him safe from this terrorist attack. And I have complete faith that He will continue to do so for the remainder of his deployment.

Now, two days later I realize I could have handled it better. And wives that have been through multiple deployments would be prepared for bad news or even just scary news like I had been given. But, I am new at this and I try the best I can in each situation. Thankfully this isn’t routine — so I don’t have to get good at reacting in moments like these.

I would also go through any deployment if it meant I get to be married to Jerromy. His love is worth any obstacle…

I do hope however that the next BIG text message he has to send me — is that he is coming home <3

Blair Cissell

Blair Cissell is trying to figure out this whole "adulting" thing. She is a fairly recent college graduate, is married to the man of her dreams & just had (in her opinion) the cutest baby in the world. She has left the full time work force temporarily for baby, and is figuring out this whole stay-at-home-mom life. Writing has always been a passion, that she uses to express her (limited) experience on love, relationships, parenthood and growing-up while exploring the beauty & power of words.