The Deepest Love Known

The best two days of my life was the day’s my sons were born. From the moment I first heard their heart beat inside me, I was in love. Every time I felt their little feet kicking my stomach, I would stop and give thanks for the miracle inside me. The moment I held their tiny, little bodies against my chest shortly after birth was the most amazing experience of my life. As any mother would say, the pain of labor is well worth it! I would do it all over again if I could even with the pain.

The joy of motherhood is the most amazing blessing that God has ever granted me. I do my best to take in each and every moment that I can because as we all know, life seems to fly by. Even when I am about to drop from all the trials that autism brings into our life, I treasure the moment. My boys and I have been tested beyond measure in this life, yet we remain strong. I have stood by them and been their voice and I will continue to do so until I am unable to.

Being a parent is a blessing and not every person is granted that blessing. I am very grateful that I was given that blessing from our Lord. At times when I am at my weakest and I mourn the loss of not having a neurotypical child, I remind myself that God chose me for my two sons. He knew my strength was capable of passing the requirements that go in to special needs parenting.

Even though my dreams and goals for my children changed after they were born due to their special needs than when I was pregnant with them. However, one thing remains and that is my love for them. Love can truly conquer all things when we allow it too. My deep, deep love began when they were growing in my belly and it will remain and continue to grow even deeper for the rest of our lives.

They continue to amaze me each and every day of how they can live their life with their challenges from autism. They keep me grounded because when I want to have a self pity party from all the challenges that autism brings, I just remind myself that I don’t have it nearly as bad as they do.

My boys and I have certainly been tested in this life. We not only face the challenges of autism but we are doing it alone without the support of a spouse/daddy figure. We have been knocked down but we always get back up. The love the three of us have is immeasurable. I need them just as much as they need me.

The deepest love known to me is my love for my boys. Nothing can take that away.