As a young girl, I always asked myself what were the ingredients to keeping a happy home?

Was it the fact that Mom always had dinner on the table ready for consumption when Dad got home?

Was it the fact that Dad always went out in the wee hours of the morning and did not return until sunset, all so he could provide a comfortable living for his family?

I remember watching as my parents endured the hustle and bustle of life while still managing to take us out on family outings whenever they could.

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Still, as I continued to grow, the same question continued to linger; I remember yearning so badly to finally get an answer to this question: what exactly is it that keeps peace in a home?

As I entered into my own marriage, I was confident I would finally get the answer I had been looking for; surely, it would be as straightforward as I’d always imagined.

In our first year of marriage, I began to learn the intricacies of marriage. Of two becoming one. Of two coming together and attempting to build a home filled with cohesiveness, peace, joy, and laughter.

From managing my own home, I quickly came to learn that peace is not a given; peace is something that requires an intentional effort—daily—and something that must be held onto for dear life.

I reminded myself of the hustle and bustle I once witnessed my own parents fully submerged in.

I remembered just how gracious my parents made everything seem. I came to see that to have peace in a household, there must be unity.

I came to see that Mom having dinner on the table and Dad going out to make a living for his family was less about gender roles and more about the dire need to maintain a sense of unity in the household.

It is that partnership—that teamwork—between my parents that allowed for peace to reign even in the midst of chaos at times.

It was never as though my mom did the household duties because she was a woman and that’s what she was expected to do.

It was more so about a mutual understanding. One which asserted that while the man was out doing his absolute best for his family externally, the woman was in the house doing her absolute best internally.

As time went on, I began to discover one of the most profound truths even within my own marriage: having and keeping peace within the household is not an easy thing, but it should also never be looked at as a chore.

Just as any successful marriage takes hard work and dedication, it is also those same successful marriages which consist of two willing and devoted individuals. Two people who have made it their life mission to stay together and weather the storms of life together, continually fighting for the bigger picture—together.

Samira Njoya

My name is Samira Njoya, I am a motherhood and lifestyle blogger. I currently live in Maryland, USA, with my husband and 3-month old baby boy. I am a freelance writer who writes primarily about motherhood and parenting.