So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

As I dropped my daughter off at yet another practice, I found myself questioning againis it too much? On the one hand, parents today are told they over-schedule their kids and shouldn’t keep them so busy. But then, on the other hand, we’re told parents today leave their kids in front of screens way too much.

It really feels like our choices are screens or overscheduling, and with either choice, we’re somehow wrong. 

But whether it’s one too many sports, one too many honors-level classes, or sticking with an instrument or interest as they head to high school, there’s a lesson to be taught in establishing boundaries and our self-value. 

Whether it’s our kids or ourselves, I fear we are too caught up in the idea of more.

More activities, more higher-level classes, more money, more projects, more, more, more, and I am just as guilty as the kid staring back at me for thinking I can handle just a little more when maybe I need to start practicing and showing her the power of no more

RELATED: Being a Teen is Hard Enough—Go Ahead and Take the Easy Road Once in Awhile

No more thinking we have to do more in order to be seen as more than enough. No more putting their sense of value in the final results of a grade, a game, or a performance.

How many of us are modeling pushing ourselves to the breaking point in the pursuit of more?

How many of our kids are doing the same thing and then we’re left wondering why they’re mentally maxed out? 

Instead, maybe, it’s time for us as parents to remember to teach them to see their value not in final results but in what they gave despite the results.

Because mistakes will occur, losses will happen, failures will result at times, but winning, getting As, and excelling in any given moment aren’t where they should find their value or sense of self-worth . . . and neither should we as their parents. 

RELATED: Dear Parents, From a Teacher: Let Your Kids Fail

Their greatest sense of self-value shouldn’t come in winning the game or getting the A but in knowing they learned to push themselves and to overcome when challenged. The win and the A will be just a moment in time, but the value of the game or the class is in the growth of their character that will withstand the challenges of the times ahead. 

They will find their value in knowing they had to dig a little deeper to find the success they wanted.

They’ll see, failure or not, trying was the victory.

When they have to make choices against what others want, they will begin to see what to value and what to place their time and energy into, and when to say no more. 

In order for our kids to reach their greatest potential, they will have to fail and lose. Otherwise, they can’t learn to rise against their struggles and challenges. Our victories aren’t won at the finish line; they are won in the moments we showed up when we wanted to give up.

So don’t forget to cheer them on those moments too, because the character and the mental wins are the biggest victories in the long run. 

Angela Williams Glenn

Angela Williams Glenn writes about the struggles and joys of motherhood on her website Stepping into Motherhood. Her book Moms, Monsters, Media, and Margaritas examines the expectations verse the realities of motherhood in our modern day digital era and her book Letters to a Daughter is an interactive journal for mothers to their daughters. She’s also been published with Chicken Soup for the Soul, TAAVI Village, Bored Teachers, and Filter Free Parents. You can find her on her Facebook page at Stepping into Motherhood.

20 Important Life Lessons Every Teen Must Learn

In: Inspiration, Journal, Teen
Teenagers talking

It’s kind of like the More You Know public service announcements, but for teens. Don’t Flirt With the World Smoking, pills, drugs, and drinking till you throw up is not “fun.” They are not rites-of-passage that all kids have to partake in to qualify their teenage years. They are life-long habits that follow you well into your twenties and thirties. Almost everyone I know that started smoking or doing drugs in high school, STILL DOES in one form or the other. I heard Steve Harvey say it best when he said, “Sin will keep you longer than you wanted to...

Keep Reading

Dear Youth Sports Parents, Please Let Your Kids Fail

In: Kids, Living
Youth baseball game

Sports parents, I’m begging you . . . please let your kid fail. Another weekend has come and gone. Another weekend next to parents consistently yelling at the referees and umpires while regaling anyone within earshot of the ways they would coach differently (i.e., better). These are the parents who just can’t bear to see their kids fail. Their kid isn’t getting the foul calls, the umpire’s strike zone was too small, or the coach is simply terrible. After the team meetings, kids walk to parents as the parents loudly exclaim, “Not your fault,” or “The ref lost that game...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, Your Mistakes Are Welcome Here

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom and daughter baking

Music is my escape. Every time I sit at the piano, I lose track of time. It’s where I go to clear my head, where my creativity ignites, where I process the day’s events, and where I go to just get away. Growing up, my parents used to say they could tell how I was feeling without even talking to me. They could simply hear my emotions through the way I played each note. My kids will likely tell the same story, along with their own version of how I checked out of the chaos and drama around me by...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections