The sink is always so full. No matter how hard I try. No matter how much time I spend trying to empty it. No matter how wrinkly and wet my hands have gotten throughout the day. It’s always, always full.
I can’t help but feel like this is such a representation of our world. It’s not just that kitchen sink that is always full. It’s our calendars. It’s our schedules. It’s our heads. It’s our hearts. All of it. All the time. There is always so much to do and somewhere to go. There is always something that needs to be worked on or figured out. There is always someone who needs something.
On the worst of days, it is utterly exhausting. It’s physically exhausting running from place to place, activity to activity. Doing all those dishes day in and day out.
But it’s also mentally exhausting. Always worrying about what’s coming next. What else has to get done, what project needs to be tackled next. To have your head so full of ideas and worries and to-do lists. Is our daughter doing okay in school? Is she eating enough vegetables? Did I schedule all her necessary appointments? Did I get a gift for my mom/sister/nephew’s birthday?
The piles of dishes aren’t the only thing that don’t ever seem to disappear no matter how hard we try. Looking at that sink often sends me spiraling. Then I realized there’s a flip side I’m not considering.
A sink full of dirty dishes? Well, it means we were able to provide our daughter with meals (and lots of snacks) all day long. It probably means we were also too busy playing with her to tackle a kitchen chore. She was happy and healthy and loved today, which is all we could ask for.
A full calendar or schedule? Yes, it gets tiring, and some days we long for those old stretches of weekends doing nothing. But it also means we are surrounded by family and friends who we get to share our time and our lives with. It means our daughter is out exploring and learning new things. It means we are fortunate enough to be able to provide her with dance classes and attend school events with her.
The full head? That’s a little trickier. Having a head full of worry also means we are doing the best we possibly can as parents. It means we are worrying about things (no matter how big or small) all out of love and concern for our child. It means we won’t ever settle for just enough—we want to be the best versions of ourselves so we can be our best versions for her.
The full heart? That’s what makes it all worth it. When I finally get the chance to sit at night and in between all the mental worrying take a moment to catch my breath, I realize how lucky we are to have hearts that are so full. So full of love and real, raw happiness.
One day, that sink will be emptier. So will our home. Everything won’t seem as full anymore, and something tells me we’re going to miss it just a little bit.