I look down at my “bride-to-be” mug, then at my shiny, new wedding ring, then back again. I can’t help but wonder if, somehow in married land, I am breaking some kind of law that states I can no longer use my cutesy, pre-wedding, bride stuff. The items that brought me such joy during the months of planning and announced to the world that I was special because I was THE BRIDE.

Goodbye cute little gold and white travel pouches with “bride” written in glitter on the front.

Goodbye “bride-to-be” mug with a shiny, gold heart on it.

Goodbye pink luggage tag with “bride” on one side.

Goodbye baby blue tank top with “bride” written in rhinestones.

For the past year, our lives had been a whirlwind of appointments and fabrics and colors. Endless days of invitations, seating charts, and DIY centerpieces. Months of friends and relatives fussing over us and how magical everything would be. A flood of compliments that would never get old. I felt like a celebrity with a team of people ready to jump at my every whim. Being someone who loves attention and event planning, I was in heaven. Even planning our honeymoon to another country was something I never thought we’d be able to do but there I was, getting my passport, packing my suitcase and preparing to fly off to paradise. Life was busy and there was never a dull moment.

After the big day was over and we had returned from our tropical getaway, we had the newlywed glow. The enthusiasm of folks gushing over the brand-new husband and wife carried us through the Thanksgiving holiday and then slowly began to quiet down.

No one tells you what happens after the excitement dies down. No one tells you what to do with all the time planning used to occupy or what to do with the leftover wedding decorations. What happens after tuxes have been returned and the dresses zipped back into their garment bags. No one mentions the aftermath of all that wedded bliss.

The post-wedding blues are definitely a real thing.

Just two months into our marriage, everything seems so quiet. Don’t get me wrong, we are still very much in love and regularly spend time enjoying activities together. But now it’s just the two of us. No groups of people hovering around us with words of advice and encouragement. No wedding planners and DJs. Just us, our cats and our quiet house.

Now what do I do with myself?

Weekend outings sounded fun, but weddings are expensive, and we were left with limited funds and a credit card to pay off. Many of our friends were already busy with holiday plans. I attempted to fill my days with work, scrapbooking, TV shows and cleaning, but nothing seemed to satisfy the empty place that was so void of the attention we had been getting. Is this how first children feel after their new sibling arrives on the scene?

My husband seems much less affected, and almost relieved, by the sudden calm . . . but I want it all back. Even the chaotic moments when I thought I may lose my mind. The moments of joy and those of anxiety. The feeling of purpose and a goal to work toward. The constant flow of adoration from our loved ones. I miss it all.

I know this is just the balance of life. I know that this is just a lull before we take on our next big adventure. Someday we will look back at this time and I know I will be grateful for the peace and quiet. But, I also know I am not quite ready to give up my bride-to-be mug regardless of what silly rules I may be breaking. So I sit here with my mug, defiantly drinking my coffee. I’ve always been a little bit of a rebel anyway.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Whitney Lukanc

Hi! I’m Whitney and I’m from the Bay Area, California. I work in the child development field and am newly married to the man of my dreams! In my free time, I love baking, arts and crafts and archery with my husband. I haven’t always had the easiest life but I work hard and stand up for what I believe in. 

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