My kids and I were finally leaving the indoor play center. I thought it would be the perfect outing, my first solo outing with both toddler and a newborn. But it wasn’t. It was hectic. And I felt frazzled, oh so frazzled. My older one wanted mommy’s full attention while the baby needed to nurse the entire time.

I had pulled the nursing cover on and off over my head so many times that by now my messy bun had become a disaster bun. So after paying $10 for unlimited playtime, we ended up staying about thirty minutes.

I was loading up my car to take my sweet (but cranky) children home. You were parked right next to me, getting your two kids out of the car to enter the same play center we had just left. You looked so put together—full makeup and you were even wearing an adorable dress. After making eye contact I immediately felt insecure about how messy I  looked.

I tend to ramble when I’m nervous so I asked you, “Do you feel as frazzled as I do today?” I quickly hoped that maybe the perfect appearance was just a façade but deep down you felt as flustered as I was.

You smiled and replied “No, not really. Two kids really isn’t that hard. But don’t worry, you will get the hang of it soon.”

Yikes. Not only do a look like crap, I apparently should be way better at this parenting two kids gig. I smiled at you and told you to have a good day. But my heart had sunk and I felt even more frazzled. I went from feeling frumpy to frumpier.

In that moment, I made myself a promise. I did not ever want to make another mom feel how I currently felt. Sure, you probably meant it as an encouragement. Maybe I should have just minded my own business and not started a conversation. Or maybe there are days you feel as frazzled as I do, but you just stay positive to get through it. I don’t know you so I don’t know your intent. And I don’t want to judge you. More power to you for doing this mommy thing so smoothly

But what I didn’t get to tell you is that I know it probably won’t get easier for me. I felt this frazzled when I just had one child. Heck I felt this frazzled since my first positive pregnancy test. I love being a mommy more than anything. But for some reason, I don’t seem to rock motherhood very gracefully. I usually wrangle kids into the car only to realize that my mascara has smudged and my shirt has breakfast on it.

I’m the mom who is so sleep deprived, I sometimes can’t remember basic words. Last week, I forget it was show and tell day at my son’s preschool so I had the teacher pull out his comfort item from the emergency kit for him to share.

I’m DEFINITELY not a perfect mom.

I am, however, a mom who chooses to acknowledge these imperfections.

And I’m thankful to have other friends who seem to share this imperfection with me. We dig through the muddy trenches of motherhood together. We share our mistakes, embarrassing moments, and then we cry or laugh (or sometimes both). They encourage me and I leave feeling like a better, stronger mom.

I want to be like these women. I want to be someone who builds other moms up. I want to make them feel that they can be a good mom, even while being frazzled and imperfect.

So, mommy of two who has it all together, if you ever find that your circumstances change and you become a frazzled, frumpy mess… I’m here for you. I can’t promise that I’ll have it all together but I can promise to give you a hug or a shoulder to cry on. 

Motherhood is beautiful and messy and tough. Let’s help each other out. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Christiana Whallon

I am a wife and a stay at home mommy to three beautiful children, two on earth and one in Heaven. I love traveling, cooking, and being in nature. You can read more about our daughter, Jaylee Hope, and help us celebrate her memory at https://www.facebook.com/JayleesJourneyofHope

Our Kids Need Us as Much as We Need Them

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sitting on bench with dog nearby, color photo

During a moment of sadness last week, my lively and joyful toddler voluntarily sat with me on the couch, holding hands and snuggling for a good hour. This brought comfort and happiness to the situation. At that moment, I realized sometimes our kids need us, sometimes we need them, and sometimes we need each other at the same time. Kids need us. From the moment they enter the world, infants express their needs through tiny (or loud) cries. Toddlers need lots of cuddling as their brains try to comprehend black, white, and all the colors of the expanding world around...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading