20 Reasons My Toddler Hates Me

1. I opened his granola bar in the wrong direction when he handed it to me.
2. One of the fruit snacks got stuck to the bottom of the package.
3. I wouldn’t let him jump from the top of the couch onto the dog’s back.
4. I made him lunch.
5. While playing cars, I touched the red car. Never ever touch the red car.
6. I made him get off the kitchen counter when he climbed up there to get to the candy bowl.
7. I said “no” to the fifth episode of Paw Patrol.
8. His milk was too wet.
9. I took away the bat when he hit his sister with it. And the window. And the TV.
10. I flipped on the light switch without letting him try first.
11. When I tucked him in I didn’t cover his feet with his blanket.
12. The dog ate his lunch when he threw his plate on the floor.
13. I took away the Sharpie.
14. I buckled him in his car seat.
15. I wiped his nose.
16. When he threw the ball in the air it came down and landed on his head.
17. I took the bunch of grapes he had grabbed from the refrigerator out of his hand, gave him a few in a bowl, then scolded him when he lost his temper and threw them at me.
18. I turned on the vacuum cleaner.
19. The throw rug got in the way of him dragging a chair to the counter with the cookie jar. And I wouldn’t move it out of the way for him.
20. I made him wear pants.

This post originally appeared on Outnumbered

 

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