I’m sorry I missed the excitement in your eyes today as you kept begging me to watch you race your cars around the track. I was busy getting work done, glued more tightly to a screen than to the joy in your eyes. 

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I’m sorry you literally had to beg me to stop my busyness and pay attention to you, saying, “Mommy, see me! See me!” while you tried to tell me something that was so important to you. I thought the tasks ahead of me were most pressing and important, but I was blind.

I disregarded one of the most valuable things I have . . . you. 

Your arms are the most priceless things around my neck. Your laughter is the most beautiful music to my ears. Your smile is the most magical art I’ve ever seen. Your life is one of the most beautiful gifts I’ve ever been given.

I’m sorry I forgot. I’m sorry I was selfish. I’m sorry I missed the moments.

I’m sorry I didn’t realize until you were fast asleep, and now I’m staring at your closed eyes wanting to whisper, “I’m sorry.”

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But you’re already dreaming now . . . and if you dream of me, what will you see? Will you see my eyes locked on yours, my smile mirroring yours, my laugh as joyous as yours? Or will you see me disengaged in the background, saying “hold on” or “good job” while glancing for half a second at the creation you made?

I’m sorry.

And I’m so happy tomorrow is a new day.

I’m happy you care enough about me right now to keep asking for attention even after you have probably felt ignored or replaced. You are priceless to me. 

And tomorrow, I will choose to see you

Her View From Home

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