Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

“Mom, can we wake up early tomorrow so you can curl my hair before school?” The night before her first day of high school, my 14-year-old surprised me by asking me to curl her hair. I haven’t been allowed near her hair in years

It’s not often we realize when we are experiencing our last with our children. 

The last time she reaches for your hand. 

The last time he calls you mommy. 

The last time you rock your daughter to sleep. 

The last time you get out of bed in the middle of the night to tuck him into bed after a nightmare. 

RELATED: Because One Day She Will Have To Walk Away

The last time he lays his head in your lap, and you run your fingers through his hair.

The last time you read her a bedtime story. 

But that morning, as I gazed at her through the mirror and curl her hair, I was confident I was experiencing a last moment. 

She hasn’t asked me to help her with her hair since grade school. She’s the girl who’s in high demand during summer camp each year to braid all her bunkmate’s hair. 

Thanks to growing up with an iPhone, she’s been styling her hair far better than I could ever do for as long as I can remember. I often take my cues from her. Whatever straight iron she says is the best, I find myself using after seeing how great of a job she does. 

But that morning, she wanted me to curl her hair. 

Uncertain if I was up to the task, I tried reassuring her she’d do a great job. But she insisted, “No, mom, I want you to do it.”

Only the mom of a daughter growing up too fast (don’t they all?) would understand this moment. 

I doubt it was my savvy hot iron skills she was after that morning. 

Maybe it’s not just us moms who want to hold onto our children’s youth.

My 13-year-old still insists on being tucked in each night before I go to sleep. Even on weekends when I’m ready to retire with a book by 10 p.m., he’ll ask me to tuck him in. After we say our nightly prayers, he’ll follow me out of his room to go back to playing his video games. 

“I thought you were ready for bed? You asked me to tuck you in,” I inquire of him. 

“No, mom. My friends are still up playing Fortnite. I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to tuck me in before you fell asleep,” he says as if he doing me a favor. 

RELATED: To My Child: I Will Lay With You Every Night As Long As You Need

He no longer calls me mama as he did just a short year ago. Every once in a while, he’ll throw in a ma’am when addressing me. 

I try to remember the sweetness of these moments and how I’ll miss even the mundane ones. 

Coming soon are the afternoons when she won’t need me to drive her to sports practice. 

He won’t ask me to make him a snack or his favorite dinner. 

She won’t be home to ask me to watch a show with her while she waits for her friends to be available. 

There won’t be socks lying around the floor covered in dog hair. 

Wet towels will no longer lay in a clump on the bathroom floor when I get out of the shower. 

He won’t need reminders to brush his teeth.

RELATED: He’s a Boy For Just a Little While Longer

She won’t need to be yelled at to get out of the shower after using up all the hot water.

The carpool lane will be a thing of our past.

Some of these things we moms nag, yell, and curse over. 

As I curled my daughter’s hair that morning before high school, I wondered if I ever considered styling her hair in the hectic mornings one more thing I couldn’t wait for her to be old enough to do one day? 

Possibly I’m more sentimental since the virus has forced all of us to slow down. As we start life back up again in a modified way, I can’t help but be grateful for the lasts.

Most of our lasts will come and go without us realizing it. But today, I’ll treasure curling her hair. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Jen Smith

Jen writes at Grace for Single Parents to encourage single moms to live their best life with God’s grace and love. She’s a contributing author for Her View from Home, Grown & Flown, and Sammiches & Psych Meds. She currently lives in Kansas with her two teenagers and two dogs.

You Are Someone’s Beautiful

In: Motherhood
Woman hugging herself

It’s 10:45 p.m. For the first time since I “put my face on” this morning, I stood staring back at myself in the mirror. I poked at my eyes and forehead. “How much you’ve changed,” I thought as I noticed new lines and grooves in my face. It’s funny, because earlier in the evening, I sat at my parent’s kitchen island, looking at magnets that hung on their refrigerator. Our daughter’s birth announcement stood out to me. “Wow!” I remarked to my mother who was admiring them with me. “That feels like forever ago.” It was only six years ago when...

Keep Reading

Do They Notice My Self-Doubt as a Working Mom?

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror holding a coffee cup

At the office, I forget yet another small detail. Later, I am asked a simple question, something I should know the answer to, and I respond with “I don’t know” because it didn’t even occur to me to have that information on hand. I feel incapable of planning much ahead and insecure about my ability to read through the fine print. Another day of work is missed to be home with a sick baby, it’s been a difficult winter with illness striking our home, including a round of influenza for me. Meetings I was supposed to lead are covered by...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Dear Child, You Are Not Responsible for How Anyone Else Feels about You

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen girl looking in the mirror putting on earrings

Dear kiddo, I have so many dreams for you. A million hopes and desires run through my mind every day on a never-ending loop, along with worries and fears, and so, so much prayer. Sometimes, it feels like my happiness is tied with ropes of steel to yours. And yet, the truth is, there are times you disappoint me. You will continue to disappoint me as you grow and make your own choices and take different paths than the ones I have imagined for you. But I’m going to tell you a secret (although I suspect you already know): My...

Keep Reading

Hey Mom, It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

In: Motherhood
Mother with head in hands and child jumping on couch nearby

Have you ever walked into a room, to an event, or a meeting, where you immediately felt out of place? As if you had come into a foreign space where you were not worthy, or just didn’t belong among the other mothers in the room? Maybe you were not dressed the part. Your hair may have fallen in messy strands around your face, or you may not have taken the time to put on a full face of makeup as the other women in the room had. Maybe your clothing choice of the day was just not quite as put...

Keep Reading

Now I Know How a Mother Is Made

In: Motherhood
Husband, wife, and young son, color photo

It’s been almost three years now, but I can still remember how your 8-pound body felt in my arms. Night after night as we tried to sleep, I remember your sounds, your movements, and your tiny hands. I gave it my all but still felt I fell short. You see sweet little one, you may have been brand new to this world, but so was I. The day you were born, a mother was born too. Things didn’t always go according to plan. It’s hard when you try your best, but you just can’t get there. So many new things...

Keep Reading

Going to Church with Kids is Hard but We’ll Keep Showing Up

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding young daughter in church

Going to church is hard with young kids. It used to be something I looked forward to. It’s something I’ve always valued deeply and needed desperately. It’s the one place that will always be home regardless of what location or building it’s in or what people attend. Church is my sanctuary. But it’s become a battle with the kids’ resistance, my tired mind and body, and my lack of ability to actually listen to the sermon. Going to church is hard with young kids. It’s become normal for me to lie down in bed on Saturday night thinking, with dread,...

Keep Reading

I’m Praying for My Teenager in These Challenging Years

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy holding a smartphone and wearing headphones

In my mid-40s, I began to long for a baby. We didn’t get much encouragement from friends and family. My husband is a high-functioning quadriplegic, and I was considered way too old to start a family. But our marriage was stable, we were used to obstacles, we were financially prepared, emotionally experienced, and our careers were established. I began to paint my own sublime mental portrait of parenting tranquility. What could go wrong? At 48, I delivered a healthy baby boy, and he was perfect. We adored him. The baby we had longed for and prayed for, we had. And...

Keep Reading

When Motherhood Feels Like a Limitation

In: Faith, Motherhood
Ruth Chou Simons holding book

Twenty-one years ago, my husband Troy and I welcomed our first son into the world. Two years later, I gave birth to another boy. And again two years later, and again two years after that. A fifth boy joined our family another two years later, and a final son was born 11 years after we began our parenting journey. If you were counting, you’re not mistaken—that’s six sons in just over a decade. We were overjoyed and more than a little exhausted. I remember feeling frustrated with the limitations of the little years with young children when I was a...

Keep Reading

I Obsessed over Her Heartbeat Because She’s My Rainbow Baby

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother and teen daughter with ice cream cones, color photo

I delivered a stillborn sleeping baby boy five years before my rainbow baby. I carried this sweet baby boy for seven whole months with no indication that he wouldn’t live. Listening to his heartbeat at each prenatal visit until one day there was no heartbeat to hear. It crushed me. ”I’m sorry but your baby is dead,” are words I’ll never be able to unhear. And because of these words, I had no words. For what felt like weeks, I spoke only in tears as they streamed down my cheeks. But I know it couldn’t have been that long. Because...

Keep Reading