Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

Downsizing our house was one thing,  but when we were considering going to a shared vehicle, even I thought we had lost our minds. I mean, how were we possibly going to be able to get me to work, the kids to all the things, my husband to work three evenings a week, plus his mixed martial arts class, plus the rec center, plus simple things like groceries or the post office?!

It can’t be done, I rationalized.

But we did it. And it was pretty awesome.

My husband and I have been together for 13 years, four houses, a townhouse, two family members’ basements, two kids, and countless jobs—and we’ve always had at least two vehicles, sometimes three. We’d never wanted or needed to go somewhere and not had the option to just get in a car and go.

The idea of having only one shared vehicle had me feeling all panicky and trapped.

But what if this one breaks down?!

What if one of the kids gets hurt but I have the car at work?

What if you need to take them to co-op but we forgot and the car isn’t at home!?

I voiced a laundry list of reasons it wouldn’t work—but we did it anyway.

And guess what? We lived through it.

We bought a truck last weekend to pull our house and it is the first time in a year we have had two vehicles. It feels weird and like I miss my husband and kids more. I know, it sounds silly, but when you share a car, you see each other . . . a lot.

Guess what else? We saved thousands of dollars that year on oil changes, gas fill-ups, tires and repairs. We became a closer family that wasn’t afraid to ask for help when we needed the car for something. We depended on each other even if it meant getting up waaaayyyy before the sun to drop me off at the airport or to take someone to an appointment.

In buying this truck and expanding our “things” we both felt almost like we were doing something wrong. The added payment felt like a burden and it just felt icky having to go through the whole car-buying process complete with slick-haired car salesmen trying to peddle things we didn’t even ask for and certainly didn’t need.

Downsizing has been great for a lot of reasons, but it has really taught us what we can truly live without. So much so, having excess now almost feels wrong—and we can’t wait to sell the van so we can go back to life as it should be for us: four people with one vehicle.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Brynn Burger

Mental health advocate, extreme parent, lover of all things outdoors, and sometimes a shell of my former self. Parenting a child with multiple behavior disabilities has become both my prison and my passion. I write so I can breathe. I believe that God called me to share, with violent vulnerability and fluent sarcasm, our testimony to throw a lifeline to other mamas who feel desperate to know they aren't alone. I laugh with my mouth wide open, drink more cream than coffee, and know in my spirit that queso is from the Lord himself. Welcome!

To the Mom Going through a Divorce

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman holding young girl outside, blurred background

To the mom going through a divorce: you can do this. I’ve been where you are, staring at a mountain of changes and challenges that felt insurmountable. The crushing ache of divorce, of family disruption, of building a new life, and helping my son through it all seemed endless and impossible. But eventually, I made it through to the other side, and I want you to know: the pain won’t last forever.  The first year following a divorce is an overwhelming puzzle of putting your life back together. And when there are kids involved, there is so much more to...

Keep Reading

I Wish My Family Could See More than My Faults

In: Living
Mom standing with child on dirt road

I am and always will be a self-described mini-train wreck. I’m disorganized, have trouble keeping my house clean, and my kids aren’t perfect angels. In my home, we have fights, slammed doors, foul language, and dirty dishes in the sink.  I sometimes go in the bathroom and cry so hard my mascara streaks down my cheeks—that is, when I wear mascara. Usually sans makeup and hair tied with an old scrunchy is the look I often rock.  I’m notoriously terrible about making appointments for myself, I’m constantly tired, and my nails could stand a good manicure.  I’m overweight, and I...

Keep Reading

There’s Something Special about Old Friends

In: Friendship, Living
College of pictures of friends, black-and-white photo

There is much to be said about old friends. In quotes, in the five regrets of the dying, in The Golden Girls theme song. But life gets busy, doesn’t it? It gets complicated—marriages, jobs, kids, errands. Friendships that were once part of us seem to fade into the background as lives grow and shift.  Being the always optimist, the queen of nostalgia, the friend who probably holds on just a little too tight, I have always seen the value in the old. The familiar. I’m the person who orders the same menu item every time at my favorite restaurant. I’m...

Keep Reading

8 Fight Songs for the Single Mom

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman holding earbuds in ears

They whispered to her: You cannot withstand the storm. I have had days when the storms hit me while I sat on the shower floor with my knees to my chest feeling completely defeated, letting the hot water beat down on my body. I have had nights when the storms hit me as tears stained my pillow. As time has moved on, I am learning how to beat the storms. This is only possible because of the family and friends that God has brought into my life. This is my fight song. These are and have been my take back...

Keep Reading

Take the Trip, You Won’t Regret It

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood

Two years ago, in the middle of a snowy, windy, Colorado March, my husband and I made the spontaneous decision to road trip to Arizona with our three very young kids.  Even though I was excited, the nerves were so very real. Over the next couple of weeks, I literally lost sleep worrying about the logistics of our trip. My late-night mindless scrolling was replaced by searches like “traveling with toddlers” and “keeping kids entertained on road trips”. We already had our hands full chasing kids at home in a familiar setting. Were we crazy to think we could just...

Keep Reading

Bust Out the Clipboard of Fun: It’s 90s Con Weekend!

In: Living
Candace Cameron Bure Andrea Barber on an airplane, taking a selfie with sleeping woman by window

In a world divided by basically everything, there’s one thing we all can agree on: growing up in the ’90s was the absolute best. You were dialing up to the internet on a monstrosity of a computer, probably with a free trial of AOL your parents got in the mail. You had a Discman with double bass boost and a sweet pair of Sony headphones with those foam pads over the ears. If you were lucky, your friend down the street had the coveted clear telephone AND a dedicated teen line. And every day after school, you cracked open some...

Keep Reading

Don’t Delete the Picture You Think You Look Bad In

In: Grief, Living, Loss
Woman holding phone with picture of her and daughter, color photo

Don’t delete the picture—the one you look bad in. I said it. You heard me. Don’t delete the picture, that picture—you know the one, the one with the double chin or the bad angle. The picture that is not so flattering. The picture that accentuates your forehead lines or the one taken next to your skinny best friend. We are all so hard on ourselves. Many of us are striving for a better complexion or a thinner physique. Sometimes scrutinizing ourselves and zooming in on a picture—seeing things the world does not see. Don’t delete the picture. RELATED: Take the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Friendships Are Like Blue Jeans

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Friends holding hands no faces showing, wearing blue jeans

Dear daughter, As you grow, relationships with other girls will often be complicated and sometimes feel discouraging. Friendships can be life-giving and beautiful. They can also be dramatic and draining.  Here’s a little trick to understanding the ebb and flow of friendships in your life.  Think of friendships like blue jeans.  They might be in your life for just a season. They can be trendy, but not last very long. Sometimes you will outgrow them. Sometimes they won’t fit, and you will have to put them back.  RELATED: Not All Friendships Are Meant To Last Forever Sometimes they are brand new, but...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Overwhelmed by Anger and Guilt

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman with head in hands and kids in background

Long before you became a mother, you fantasized about the special connection you would share with your little ray of sunshine. You made the promise that you would arm yourself with all the patience in the world and be the calmest and most loving parent there is.   And how long did it take you to end up confused, worried, or disappointed when reality didn’t meet your expectations of being a mother?   In my practice as a psychotherapist, I often meet mothers overwhelmed by guilt and shame because, in their eyes, they don’t rise to the challenge.   I snapped at him...

Keep Reading

She’s about to Become a Cool Mom: Lindsay Lohan Is Having a Baby!

In: Living
Lindsay Lohan Bader Shammas

At just 11 years old, she played twins in the Disney reboot of “The Parent Trap” and now Lindsay Lohan has parenting news of her own: she’s pregnant! Lohan, 36, made the announcement on Instagram Tuesday by posting a photo of a white onesie that says “coming soon…” She tagged her husband Bader Shammas in the photo, and added the caption, “We are blessed and excited!” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) If you hear a collective “Awwww!” echoing across the internet, it’s coming from all the ’80s babies who grew up watching Lohan...

Keep Reading