The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

Downsizing our house was one thing,  but when we were considering going to a shared vehicle, even I thought we had lost our minds. I mean, how were we possibly going to be able to get me to work, the kids to all the things, my husband to work three evenings a week, plus his mixed martial arts class, plus the rec center, plus simple things like groceries or the post office?!

It can’t be done, I rationalized.

But we did it. And it was pretty awesome.

My husband and I have been together for 13 years, four houses, a townhouse, two family members’ basements, two kids, and countless jobs—and we’ve always had at least two vehicles, sometimes three. We’d never wanted or needed to go somewhere and not had the option to just get in a car and go.

The idea of having only one shared vehicle had me feeling all panicky and trapped.

But what if this one breaks down?!

What if one of the kids gets hurt but I have the car at work?

What if you need to take them to co-op but we forgot and the car isn’t at home!?

I voiced a laundry list of reasons it wouldn’t work—but we did it anyway.

And guess what? We lived through it.

We bought a truck last weekend to pull our house and it is the first time in a year we have had two vehicles. It feels weird and like I miss my husband and kids more. I know, it sounds silly, but when you share a car, you see each other . . . a lot.

Guess what else? We saved thousands of dollars that year on oil changes, gas fill-ups, tires and repairs. We became a closer family that wasn’t afraid to ask for help when we needed the car for something. We depended on each other even if it meant getting up waaaayyyy before the sun to drop me off at the airport or to take someone to an appointment.

In buying this truck and expanding our “things” we both felt almost like we were doing something wrong. The added payment felt like a burden and it just felt icky having to go through the whole car-buying process complete with slick-haired car salesmen trying to peddle things we didn’t even ask for and certainly didn’t need.

Downsizing has been great for a lot of reasons, but it has really taught us what we can truly live without. So much so, having excess now almost feels wrong—and we can’t wait to sell the van so we can go back to life as it should be for us: four people with one vehicle.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Brynn Burger

Mental health advocate, extreme parent, lover of all things outdoors, and sometimes a shell of my former self. Parenting a child with multiple behavior disabilities has become both my prison and my passion. I write so I can breathe. I believe that God called me to share, with violent vulnerability and fluent sarcasm, our testimony to throw a lifeline to other mamas who feel desperate to know they aren't alone. I laugh with my mouth wide open, drink more cream than coffee, and know in my spirit that queso is from the Lord himself. Welcome!

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

In: Friendship
Woman walking away

Ever since Ashley Tisdale wrote about leaving her toxic mom group, I have noticed something shift among women my age, moms in our 40s who built friendships through school drop-offs, soccer sidelines, neighborhood walks, and birthday parties. Here is the thing….no one wants to be labeled the “mean girls mom group.” Recently, I was out to dinner with a friend when she shared something that stuck with me. A woman had quietly left their local moms’ group and later treated them as if they were exclusionary. The final straw? She had sent a group text at dinnertime and no one...

Keep Reading

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother with three grown daughters

During my oldest daughter’s freshman year of college, I started being haunted by a recurring dream of an old-fashioned suitcase—one of those hard-sided ones that’s as big as they come. In the dream, when I open the suitcase, it’s overflowing with clothing, shoes, and all kinds of stuff that belongs to me and each of my three daughters. Everything in the suitcase is all jumbled together. Nobody else in the dream is worried about sorting through everything, but I am totally stressed about it. To top it all off, I have to deal with this suitcase while preparing for a...

Keep Reading

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking over canyon

Insecurity is something we all carry in one form or another. For me, it has probably always looked confident and outgoing from the outside. But internally, it can feel heavy, complicated, and exhausting at times. And when someone comes along whose behavior reinforces those insecurities, it amplifies what was already there. There was someone I had hoped to genuinely connect with, but it was clear from the start that the feeling wasn’t mutual. From the beginning, their wall was up. No matter how kind I tried to be or how carefully I showed up, it never came down. Their distance...

Keep Reading

My In-Laws Don’t Like Me and It Breaks My Heart

In: Living
Family silhouette by the water

Since I was a little girl, I dreamed of what it might be like to gain an entire family when I got married. My parents were lovely. I never wanted for anything, and I had very involved grandparents. However, any other family was far away, and much of my childhood was lonely. I dreamed of brothers-in-law or sisters-in-law and their spouses to do life with. Maybe we would go on road trips together or stay in and play games and have a few drinks. I dreamed of raising our kids together and giving my children the cousin memories I only...

Keep Reading

We Fell Out of Friendship

In: Friendship
Woman gazing out window with coffee

It was just a normal Monday afternoon, sitting in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. I had one kid reading her Kindle quietly, one loudly proclaiming facts about the different fish in the large tank, and one arguing with her just because he could. I had completed all the forms online before our appointment, so we were simply waiting. Then you walked in. You, who used to be the sister of my heart.  Summers of sleeping in tents in my parents’ backyard, while you told me terrifying stories. The smell of hairspray from ’90s dance recitals while we twirled...

Keep Reading

There Was a Shooting at My High School; Can I Keep My Kids Safe Anymore?

In: Living
Kids with backpacks in front of school, view from behind

It is enough. I have had it. I had thought this year would be better. I tried to will it. I tried to convince myself with my resolutions during that first week in January. I typed my goals up in a neat little list. I was specific. Looked at it each morning. My goals focused primarily on being a good person. On prioritizing spending time with the people I love and the people I am responsible for. My goals focused on seeking the good while I feel there is a foot in a heavy boot on the center of my...

Keep Reading

Every Neighborhood Needs a Baby

In: Living
Woman playing pat-a-cake with a baby as toddler looks on

My grandmother was astounded when I told her I had met so many of her neighbors after we had only lived in her house for a couple of weeks. Grandma had decided to move into a senior citizens’ apartment building, and the timing was wonderful. John and I had been renting a townhouse, but once our baby, Christopher, was born, the situation wasn’t ideal any longer. Christopher was very fond of being awake and vociferous during the night, and the paper-thin walls of the duplex were horrible. When Grandma broached the idea of us renting her small two-bedroom home as...

Keep Reading

God Carries Me Through the Deep Waters of Change

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman at the beach as waves come in

“Ahhh!” My underwater scream garbled in my snorkel tube as the manta ray’s cavernous mouth swept a hand’s distance from my face. My fingers tightened around the surfboard until my knuckles ached. My arms trembled. I jerked my head side to side, searching for my daughters, Mia and Megan. Recent college graduates, they had joined me on one last mother-daughter vacation before launching their adult lives. They floated easily on the vibrant Hawaiian water, relaxed, trusting. I wanted to borrow their calm. Earlier, our guide had explained that the LED lights built into the surfboard attracted plankton the way college...

Keep Reading

When Did We Change, Mama?

In: Living
Elderly mother and daughter

When did we change, Mama? Was it a moment? Or a gradual shift? When did I stop coming to you with my burdens and fears, and make room for you to come to me with yours? When did I sense you needed more comfort and guidance than I did? That it was time to present only my best side? My confident, reassuring, everything is fine side? So you wouldn’t have to worry needlessly, obsessively, like always before. Was it when I first began to notice you struggling to ease out of your favorite chair? Or the times you started forgetting...

Keep Reading

My ‘Dusty Son’ is 5

In: Living, Motherhood
Little boy holding out dandelion bouquet

As moms, we categorize everything. Girl mom. Boy mom. Wine mom. Outdoor mom. Farm mom. City mom. Now there’s been an uptick in social media trends about exposing our girls to worldly and fancy experiences so someday they’re “not impressed by your dusty son.” I won the parenting jackpot (in my humble opinion) and have an older daughter and a younger son. He’s five. Not a grown man making real-world decisions. Not a college kid learning how to adult. He’s five. He loves dinosaurs and Mario. His big sissy and his Great Dane. He is incapable of cruelty and is...

Keep Reading