Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄


A healthy relationship develops in a world where you navigate new and exciting terrain with someone. It’s filled with a robust amount of skepticism, anxiety, euphoria and general anticipation where forgiveness is easy and the physical attraction is so fierce that you find yourself counting down the minutes until you see each other again. In time, for some, that relationship evolves into marriage.

Marriage is a cocktail of communication, honesty, hard work and an enormous amount of love. Marriage isn’t always glitz and glam and it doesn’t care if your makeup is on point or what size your jeans are.

Six months ago I was promoted from fiancée to wife. Six months ago I said “I do” to the love of my life after seven years of dating. Six months ago in front of family and friends we took sacred vows.

“For better or worse. In sickness and in health.”

Many of us think that little phrase “in sickness and in health” is intended for “other” people. But we quickly became those “other” people.

It all started after taking medication for a sinus infection. Suddenly, I could feel my skin burning and the air getting sucked out of my lungs. I tried my best to stay calm, but it’s difficult to stay calm when you can’t breathe and you cannot control what is happening to your body. I knew I was going to faint so for a brief moment, I laid down in a pile of dirty laundry as my entire body began to shake. I kept thinking, this is it folks, I’m going to die right here in our dirty laundry. 

Those side effects you read about when taking new medication? Well, I was experiencing every single one of them at the same time. Suddenly, something as basic as breathing, something I took for granted, was becoming a chore. 

My memory of my husband taking me to the emergency room is cloudy. I just remember being completely terrified and for that moment really putting all of my trust in him. Technically we already did that when we took our vows six months ago, but this was the real deal. This was do or die, excuse my pun. My body was experiencing anaphylactic shock from a medication I never knew I was allergic to.

As quickly as this all started, it was ending. With the help of good doctors and the correct medication, I was awake and alert. In the corner of the hospital room was my very own knight in shining armor, my husband. I watched him quietly working on his iPad peeking at me out of the corner of his eye. It’s true ladies, there’s something incredibly sexy about your husband actually saving your life. I felt like a real life Disney princess. Except I was in the hospital wearing an ugly hospital gown with puke in my hair and wires attached to my entire body. Suddenly, the annoying beeping of the machines sounded glorious and it was at that moment I realized how incredibly blessed I am to be this man’s wife.

We are only in the infancy stages of marriage, but here’s what we’ve learned so far:

Marriage is not for the weak. It’s hard work.

Marriage is knowing someone always has your back. Always and forever. And you have theirs. Always and forever.

Marriage is a promise. A vow. To try the hardest you have ever tried in your life.

Marriage is a constant learning experience. You never stop learning.

Marriage is about rushing home to tell your better half about your entire day.

Marriage is also about listening to your better half chew your ear off early in the morning despite you not being a morning person. 

Marriage is supporting your partner’s choices and ideas that may sometimes scare you and leave you feeling uncertain.

Marriage is wishing you were the one having the back surgery, the back pain, or the sickness. Not him.

Marriage is a promise, a vow. To try the hardest you have ever tried in your life, and to keep trying because you love this person more than the sun, the moon and the stars.

Marriage is about vulnerability. Giving someone the right to see you at your weakest moments in life while also giving someone the opportunity to bring you unconditional love and joy.

Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. It is collaborating to tackle life’s most difficult moments. There is no shortage of lessons that being marriage affords you, and even in the most vulnerable moments I am grateful. I used to always say my husband saved my life when we met. But now I can say without a doubt, my husband saved my life that February afternoon he carried me, barely breathing, to the emergency room. 

“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when the imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” Dave Meurer 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Lisa Ingrassia

Lisa is the Director of Events at Zenith Marketing Group, an insurance brokerage firm located in Freehold, NJ. She is passionate about sharing her father’s journey with cancer and bringing attention the difficult path a caregiver must walk. She has written guest articles for the National Foundation of Swallowing Disorders, The Mighty & Her View From Home. She is also a guest blogger for The Huffington Post. Fun fact: She’s obsessed with her Boston terrier Diesel and loves the color blue.

Children Don’t Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger

In: Inspiration, Mental Health, Motherhood
Children Don't Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger

“This too shall pass.” As mothers, we cling to these words as we desperately hope to make it past whichever parenting stage currently holds us in its clutches. In the thick of newborn motherhood, through night wakings, constant nursing and finding our place in an unfamiliar world, we long for a future filled with more sleep and less crying. We can’t imagine any child or time being more difficult than right now. Then, a toddler bursts forth, a tornado of energy destroying everything in his wake. We hold our breath as he tests every possible limit and every inch of...

Keep Reading

The One Thing Young Kids Need to Know About Sex

In: Health, Kids, Motherhood
The One Thing Young Kids Need to Know About Sex

I currently have four kids in elementary school from kindergarten to fifth grade. My kids have not experienced any sexual abuse (to my knowledge); we have been very careful about any potential porn exposure; we closely monitor their involvement with pop culture through music, movies, books, and even commercials. While we might seem to err on the side of overly sheltering them, what we have also done is be very open with our kids about sex. We have told them the truth when they’ve asked questions. And have they asked some questions! Here’s a sampling of what I’ve been asked...

Keep Reading

I Don’t Have Anxiety—But My Husband Does

In: Health, Mental Health, Relationships
I Don't Have Anxiety—But My Husband Does

I don’t have anxiety but my husband does.  We should have realized this years ago but we missed it. The realization came suddenly and as soon as it popped in my mind, it came out of my mouth. “You have anxiety.” I said. He looked at me trying to determine if I was joking or serious. “I am serious, you have anxiety.” His eyes left mine and found his phone. He picked it up and said, “Hey Siri, give me the definition of anxiety.” As the virtual assistant read off the definition she may as well have been reading my man’s personality...

Keep Reading

This is What Life is Like For a Mom Who Wears Hearing Aids

In: Health, Journal, Motherhood
This is What Life is Like For a Mom Who Wears Hearing Aids

I’ll never forget the time I was standing on a dock in the middle of a lake, casually draining my long hair of water, soaking in the summer heat surrounding me. Little did I know, my right breast had escaped the clutches of my bikini top; it must have popped out when I dove into the cool lake. But because I wasn’t wearing my hearing aids—I can’t wear those babies in the water—I couldn’t hear those back on land who were calling at me to shove it back in. So, there I stood, clueless of the fact that I was...

Keep Reading

Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s

Do you remember that day in the fifth grade when the boys and girls were separated for the “Sexuality and Development” talk? Some nice old lady health teacher came into your room and gave you some straight talk about how the next few years were going to go for you. It was awkward and shocking and you knew your childhood would never be the same. When you hit your mid-thirties, there should be some kind of Part Two to that conversation. All the ladies need to be rounded up, lead into a dimly lit classroom that smells vaguely of pencil...

Keep Reading

How Can You Love an Abusive Man? I Did—Until I Decided to Choose Myself.

In: Health, Journal, Relationships
How Can You Love an Abusive Man? I Did—Until I Decided to Choose Myself.

He walked over to the table I was sitting at with some friends and casually, yet confidently, pulled up a chair. His voice was deep and he had a luring accent that immediately caught my attention. His distinctly cut jawline along his perfectly trimmed beard made him seem older, I thought, than the age I’d soon learn he was. Our paths had crossed before like two ships in the night, forbidding us from ever quite meeting as we did that day . . . eye to eye, energy to energy He chatted with me and our mutual friends for a...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Sure How Long I’ll Need an Antidepressant to Feel Normal…and That’s OK

In: Cancer, Child Loss, Grief, Mental Health
I'm Not Sure How Long I'll Need an Antidepressant to Feel Normal...and That's OK

I tried to wean off of Zoloft and couldn’t. And that’s OK. I had never really been aware of the world of antidepressants. My life has been relatively uneventful—with the normal ups and downs that most of us go through. I knew people on medication for depression but never understood. How can you be THAT sad that you can’t just be positive and make the best of your circumstances? How can someone be THAT unhappy ALL the time to need medication? I didn’t get it. I felt bad for people going through it. Then my 2-year-old was diagnosed with Stage...

Keep Reading

To the Mom With the Anxious Soul

In: Journal, Mental Health, Motherhood
To the Mom With the Anxious Soul

I see you, mama. You’re the one sitting alone at the family party. You’re the one hovering a little too close to your sweet babies at the park. You’re the one standing in the bathroom at work for just a moment of quiet. Your thoughts are swirling constantly, faster and more fearful that a “regular” mama. You find yourself spaced out at times, and hyper aware at others. You’ve heard the words “just relax” and “everything is fine” more times than you care to count. Sometimes you wish you could make everyone understand why you are the way you are...

Keep Reading

I Am My Child’s Advocate—and Other Valuable Lessons a Stay in the PICU Taught Me

In: Baby, Child, Health
I Am My Child's Advocate—and Other Valuable Lessons a Stay in the PICU Taught Me

What started out to be a normal Thursday ended with a race to the children’s ER with my six-month-old. I was terrified. My adrenaline was pumping. My baby was struggling to breathe. The day before, he had been diagnosed with RSV. A simple cold to most healthy toddlers and adults turned out to be life threatening to my infant.   Once we were admitted, I knew this was serious. I knew he was in danger. I could sense the concern and urgency in the doctor’s voice. I knew the gravity of that wing of the hospital he was being wheeled...

Keep Reading

To the Young Warriors Fighting Cancer, You Are Superheroes

In: Cancer, Child, Child Loss, Health
To the Young Warriors Fighting Cancer, You Are Superheroes

Most people never get to meet their heroes. I have, in fact—I have met many heroes. These heroes didn’t set out for greatness; they fell victim to a terrible disease and faced it with courage, might and bravery like I have never seen before. And when we talk about this type of battle, there is no such thing as losing. whether the battle ended in death, life, or debility, each of these heroes defeated. My heroes are the innocent children who battle cancer. I high-fived, hugged, wept over, laughed and played with my heroes for 10 years as a nurse. And you better believe I...

Keep Reading