I think it’s safe to say in our culture that most men are targeted for being the ones in the relationship who want more sex. The ones who crave it, think about it, even obsess over it. And while men’s minds were designed very differently from ours, that doesn’t mean that we women don’t want what we want in the bedroom, too.

Now if you’re anything like me, once the idea of sex comes into your mind, it can be really hard to push it aside. Because when my thoughts race to these intimate places in the bedroom with my husband, it keeps me longing for more of him and more of our time together. And I can’t get it out of my mind.

Yes, I’m the woman and I want more sex. Here’s how I get it.

1. I hint at it first thing in the morning. No, men aren’t the only ones who think about sex when they first wake up. Now that we’ve had kids, there are usually a few extra little bodies curled up in bed with us watching cartoons in the morning, but that doesn’t mean that sex still doesn’t cross my mind. Rather than getting some before we both start our days, a quick mention of it later that night gets both of our minds going in the right direction and begins the anticipation of what’s to come. And I’ve found that anticipation makes sex all the more exciting for both of us. Because when that much passion is built up after thinking about it all day, chances are it’s going to be a hot night.
2. Add a little something extra to your kiss. How many times do we just give our men a quick kiss in passing, but never take the time to make it a passionate one? Taking 15 extra seconds and using a little more than just your lips to kiss your man or adding a grab to your favorite part of his body will definitely give him the signal that you’re wanting more than just a kiss. Give him a slip of the tongue, run your fingers through his hair, grab onto his arms, or any part of his backside. I promise, he will get the hint.
3. Give him a back rub. Sometimes men need to be loosened up just like we do. We can’t expect them to be able to flip a switch and become a sex unicorn, nor can they expect the same from us! Sometimes all they need is the chance to relax and get in the mood. Start up in his neck and shoulders, he’s probably tense and tired from working all day. And if you’re feeling feisty, let your hands wander. Don’t be afraid to kiss his neck and pull him in close. Let him know you love being near to him.
4. Make it really obvious. Sure your man sees you on your hands and knees picking up toys, folding laundry, and unloading the dishwasher. But have you bent over just for him? I’m totally serious. There is nothing that will get my husband’s attention off of the tv or his phone and onto me like pulling and Elle Woods right in front of him. Climb onto his lap, give him one of those long, passionate kisses we talked about earlier. LET HIM KNOW YOU WANT HIM, ladies. Men want to be wanted and chased after.
5. Once you get in the bedroom, let him know what you want. I think so often as women, it can be difficult, maybe even embarrassing, for us to verbalize what we want in bed. Maybe we think the fireworks should just “happen” or we think something might be wrong with us if it doesn’t feel good. But most of the time, we aren’t getting what we want in the bedroom because we are afraid to speak up. Tell him what feels good and what doesn’t, suggest a new position, ask him what HE wants. Conversations in the bedroom during the deed don’t have to be awkward, but they do have to be honest!

So if you’re one of those ladies who wants more sex, this is your time girlfriend! One of the things that I think is just the coolest is that God designed us for intimacy, He created sex to be pleasurable. And because He made each one of us so uniquely, there isn’t anything wrong with wanting more of what He made to be good.

You might also like:

Sex and Raising Babies: 7 Ways to Bring Back Intimacy

Sex—What We Aren’t Bringing to the Table

Dear Husband, If You Want More Sex, Here’s What To Do

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