There is nothing better than being a mother to my children. I love them more than life itself and I would never go back and change any part of being their mother. They have shown me the true meaning of life and what pure joy and happiness really is. I made sure to include that for all the “perfect mothers” out there that like to pretend these are the only thoughts that ever cross their minds throughout life.

However, the truth about being a mother is that life is not easy, perfect, always happy. Life with toddlers or small children is crazy, insane, disastrous, messy, and will drive you out of your mind, along with all of that good stuff I prefaced this with.

There are a few things you will miss when you become a mother and for everyone this list is a little bit different, but here are the major ones for this truly un-perfect (and not trying to be) mother.

1. Buying food for just me– I miss food I can call my own. I miss being able to go to the grocery store and pick out a snack food to delve into later in the evening in front of my binge-worthy show. Instead of this option, it’s two toddlers watching my every move at the store asking, “Can I have some of that? Are those cookies for me? When do I get to eat them? I want them NOW! Where are my snacks? I don’t want those chips!” If I am smart enough to grab something when they aren’t with me, they are little scavengers and they hunt it out at home. “When did you buy these, Mom? I want them!” Instead of this, I have resorted to hiding my stash, and liking snacks they won’t eat. Cookies with pecans in them or mint chocolate chip ice cream, both are golden and never touched, therefore, they are my favorite snacks now.

2. Eating food in peace– I know, you must think I do nothing but eat. If you are not a mother and are laughing at this statement, your time will come. If you are a mother, you will definitely relate to hiding your face in the fridge to scarf down that chocolate bar, or hiding in the pantry to finish off the cheese curls while the kids are sitting in front of a TV show you swore they would never watch. You have never seen a parent eat as fast as when they are hiding in the fridge and the kid comes walking around the corner. Also, be sure not to chew, because kids are smarter than that and they will realize you are eating something and they will definitely want some. If your mouth is full, they will have a hundred questions to ask you and then say, “Why aren’t you answering me, Mommy? Is there something in your mouth? Can I have some?”

3. TV– I miss movies, TV shows, award shows, trashy reality shows, etc etc etc. The children dominate, period. Since I am parent of the year and all, (ha!) I make sure my children do not live in front of the TV. This means either they are getting their allotted “TV time,” or the TV is off and I am forced to play yet another round of dress this doll for me or my sister said she isn’t my sister anymore. Thank god they go to bed early and I get an hour to myself in front of the TV, so I make sure my brain is fully rotting away in a wonderfully relaxing way almost every night. Before children, the TV was on the entire time I was home, just chilling in the background, incase anything exciting ever came on.

4. Showers- Long, hot, wonderfully blissful, relaxing, singing out loud to my music, showers! Do I get showers now? Of course I shower daily! Are they wonderful and blissful? Um…do you know anyone with small children, because their mothers will just laugh at that statement. Showers are not a relaxing process anymore, they are simply a way to get clean as fast as you can because both children need to pee and one may have already gone in the hallway while you were in there. You only get a few quick minutes and you better be prepared to answer fifty questions while you are in there. Children reason that if you don’t answer their question of “Can I color on your new hardwood floor?” that means you definitely don’t mind!

5. Reading– This one might be a little more personal to me, but I am sure it applies to everyone in some small way. I personally love to read books. I love to fall into a book that sucks me in and makes me feel like I am in a completely different world of peace, love, and happiness. You need silence to gain that feeling, and let me tell you silence is not something you may ever experience again until your children completely move out. That brings me to number six, which is…

6. Silence– This is something you may experience every now and then. Maybe your parents or in-laws decide they want the little buggers for the night, or you get done with work early and forget to tell anyone and sneak back to the house to stare at four walls for half an hour just because you can. This silence is pretty much gone, but even when you do catch a few moments of it, it will not be a positive feeling. If the children are home and you realize there is silence, someone is definitely coloring the hardwood floors or holding down their sister because they are a cop and sis is the robber.

This list could go on and on, but these are my top choices. These are the things I plan to do every night when I get twenty minutes or an hour to myself. Sadly, I often resort to dishes, homework, or planting myself on the couch and then being unable to move. So, if you are not a parent yet, make sure that you get in your fair share of binge-watching, chip-eating, shower-singing, silence-loving happiness!