What if Your Mom Guilt Is a Lie?

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Being a perfect mom is simply an unrealistic expectation. What does a “perfect mom” even mean?!? We cannot always be sweet, crafty, snuggly, and able to drop everything we are doing. We carry the burden of the guilt of not doing enough, as if there is some way to even measure how well we are doing. Your kids are happy and healthy and they love you!

You are a great mom. YOU are a great mom. You ARE a great mom. You are a GREAT mom.

What if the notion of being a lousy mom is the enemy’s way of whispering lies to you? Yes, God might be convicting (not condemning) you about some changes to make in how you parent, and that needs obedience. Maybe you truly are ignoring your kids too often. Perhaps your facial expression during your latest teachable moment was inappropriate. But when we repeat “I suck as a mom,” we are likely to believe it.

Picture your child. What if your sweet, adorable, easy-to-love kid carried guilt around about being an imperfect son or daughter to you. They constantly thought, “I am a terrible kid. I only fall short. I keep spilling the milk. When will I ever learn to quit being a failure and just put on my shoes the first time she asks? She probably wishes she had a good kid instead of me.” Wouldn’t that crush you?

If your child ever uttered those phrases out loud, you’d likely burst into tears and race to bear hug your sweetie pie and reassure him/her that (s)he is delightful, right? You’d say there is nothing to prove and that those small imperfections are endearing. Isn’t (s)he so easy to love?

How is it any different with you? He spills milk, you miss PTA. She can’t find two socks that match, you can’t find the school forms to sign. He has to make playdough balls by himself, you don’t get help with cooking. Just because you cannot give every second of attention does not mean you are not a committed mom!

You would die for your children. You would leave an important meeting at work if the school called to say your baby spiked a fever. You have moved heaven and earth to get your little one to ballet on time (and still managed to make dinner). You have rearranged your whole schedule to bake those cookies for the class party that’s in 12 hours.

Grace upon grace upon grace.

It’s easier to preach than practice, but try it this week. All you can do is all you can do. Embrace who you are, how you are, and whose you are! Mom guilt needs a permanent Time Out. You already are the perfect mom for your offspring!

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Debbie Wilkins Baisden

Debbie is a mom to 4 boys (Paul, Brad, Andrew, and Joshua, or “PBAndJ” for short). Unexpectedly widowed in 2012, Debbie’s world was turned upside down. Clinging to God, her stay-at-home mom days in suburbia now demanded a paying job. Instead of returning to the classroom, she decided that Chapter 2 of life meant pursuing her passion of all things fitness and nutrition. She enjoys helping women look and feel their best. Debbie remarried in 2014 and lives in North Carolina.

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