There’s no denying it. Motherhood is hard.
It’s the hardest thing I have ever done and will ever do—and people made sure I knew that when I was pregnant.
Sure, there was the original excitement that typically comes when you announce you’re pregnant. But it wasn’t too far into those 40 weeks when the how are you feeling? concerns that once were genuine became segues to give unsolicited warnings.
“You’re not sleeping well now? Just wait until the baby is born.”
“Nothing sounds good to eat? Just wait until the only meals you eat are either cold or with one hand.”
“You’re uncomfortable now? Just wait until those labor pains kick in.”
I remember walking into my house one day in tears and asking my husband, “Is there anything positive that comes with having a baby?”
Mamas with babies, I know you’re just trying to help. I know you’re trying to prepare the mama who’s expecting for the not-so-beautiful moments.
But I’m sure I’m not the only mama who experienced anxiety during her pregnancy. I was already worried about my son’s health, stressed about getting things ready at work before my maternity leave, terrified I wouldn’t know how to be a mom once he arrived.
Every “just wait until” made me more anxious, more stressed, more discouraged.
If you’re a mama like me, I first want you to know you’re not alone. You’re not the only one who researches everything. You’re not the only one who second-guesses every decision. You’re not the only one who feels desperate for some encouragement.
If you’re a mama like me, here are some of the things I wish I had been told instead.
Just wait until you feel him kick because he feels the sound of your voice.
Just wait until you hold her for the first time and fall in love more deeply than you ever thought possible.
Just wait until he falls asleep on your chest and the sound of his little breath drowns out all of the noise of the world.
Just wait until she says “Mama” for the first time. (If she’s anything like my son, “Dada” will come first. But trust me, it’s worth the wait.)
Just wait until you’re rocking him at 2 a.m. Yes, you’re tired. But you are what he needs right now, so you hold him just a little bit longer.
Just wait until your face has the biggest smile because of the tiniest laugh.
I wish I could go back to and tell my pregnant self that there will be more positives than I could ever imagine.
But I can’t, so I’m telling all the mamas like me.
Yes, there will be hard moments. There will be hard days. But that’s not what you should think about now. Because that’s not what you’ll remember.
So just wait until your little one makes his or her entrance into this world. Your life will never be the same . . . in the absolute best way possible.