Have you ever reached a point in your marriage where you wondered if you’d even make it to the next anniversary? When unmet expectations, endless responsibilities, and the wear and tear of daily life left you drained?
If we’re honest, every couple faces both the “good times and bad” we promised on our wedding day.
This summer, my husband and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. Truth be told, we’ve had our share of bumps in the road.
I’ll never forget one particularly difficult season. My husband and I had opposite views on a major issue involving our child. It wasn’t the first time we disagreed on this particular issue; it just resurfaced in a new form.
To say I was frustrated is an understatement. I was weary and worn down from the toll it took on us. A distance crept between us that we hadn’t experienced before.
One night during that time, I went for a late walk to clear my head.
Exasperated, I looked up at the stars and whispered, “Lord, this ‘til death do us part’ thing sure is a long time.”
Then a thought popped into my head that made me laugh: What if marriage worked like a car lease? You could renew the contract every 10 years or trade it in for a newer model!
As I walked, the Holy Spirit reined in my thoughts: marriage was never designed to be disposable. It’s not based on convenience, feelings, or short-term performance. Marriage is a covenant, a lifelong commitment requiring surrender, sacrifice, and trust in the One who designed it.
Surrender and sacrifice may not be popular themes today, but they’re central to God’s design for marriage. Our desires tug hard, but we don’t need to wave the white flag when marriage gets hard.
The Holy Spirit equips us to resist the temptation to give up or give in. He also empowers us to take one step at a time in submission to the Lord.
That night, I chose to scrap my lease idea and cling to God’s plan.
Not because our issues were solved…they weren’t.
Not because I had a sudden breakthrough…I was still an emotional mess.
Not because my husband saw things my way…he didn’t.
I chose to believe God was working in the middle of our struggle: refining us, growing us, and drawing us closer to Himself and to each other.
When I returned home from that walk, my eyes landed on a verse that had hung on our wall for years: “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
The words on that plaque were meant for more than a pretty decoration; they must shape our daily reality. Jesus is the foundation of our family and the anchor that holds us together.
Our marriage didn’t transform overnight. It was a process to lean on God’s strength and look to Him to draw us closer to Himself and each other.
Looking back, I see God’s grace woven through the hard seasons. He held us together when we could have unraveled. The joy of celebrating 30 years feels that much sweeter because of the valleys we’ve walked through.
I still smile at my ‘lease plan,’ but I thank God we never seriously considered trading each other in!
If you’re in a hard season, friend, you’re not alone. Keep pressing into grace and trusting that while God’s way isn’t always easy, it is always best.
by Laura Harris 
by Sara Estabrooks 
