A Gift for Mom! 🤍

You see them wandering through the aisles of Target. They are fairly easy to spot. Their shopping carts full of bedding, towels and mini-refrigerators. They seem slightly stressed, a little irritated, with just a hint of sadness in their eyes as their teenager carelessly tosses another pillow into the cart. 

They are the moms of college kids. And this time of year starts to get a little overwhelming. With three kids in college this year, I am feeling it. I’ve got one moving into an apartment, one moving into a dorm and one who is changing his mind about everything at the last minute. So I might be just a little frazzled. But from the aisles of Target, I can tell that I am not alone in this. This stage of life is not for the weak . . . and this time of year can be stressful, emotional and busy. Tensions are high, kids are moody and life is changing at a rapid rate!

If you are a mom of a college kid, then you might have been nagging your child all summer to take care of . . . 

Immunization forms.

FAFSA updates.

Dorm shopping.

College orientations.

Tuition payments.

Meal plans.

Roommate assignments.

Financial aid forms.

If you are a mom of a college kid, then you might be a ball of emotions . . . a roller coaster of happy, sad, excited, nervous, proud, scared, angry, worried—trying hard to hold it together as move-in day gets closer and closer. Don’t be surprised if your kid feels the same way. 

If you are a mom of a college kid, then you might have several check-lists on your phone of things that need to be done. You text these lists to your college kid and cross your fingers and say a quick prayer that they will actually read them and get it done. You are determined to make them handle this stuff . . . and are pleasantly surprised when they actually do.

If you are a mom of a college kid, then you might be wondering how in the world your child is going to survive on their own at college when some days they can’t even find their own shoes or remember to take out the trash at home??

If you are a mom of a college kid, you might be a little sentimental . . . wondering how these years went by so quickly. Wasn’t it just yesterday your floors were covered with LEGOs and Barbies? Wasn’t it just yesterday you were sending your child off to kindergarten as they were crying and clinging to your leg? How is it they are old enough to move out? How are you already a mid-life Mama with an empty nest? 

If you are a mom of a college kid, you might feel a little lost. This parenting young adults is new territory and you aren’t sure what you are doing because your role is changing. This transitional stage is hard to figure out. No longer can you step in and save the day . . . you have to stand back and watch your child stumble through on their own. And it’s hard. You miss the days of knowing where they are, what they are eating and who their friends are. But you continue pushing them further out of the nest a little more each day because that’s what a college-kid mom has to do . . . love them enough to let them go.

If you are a mom of a college kid, you dread move-in day. It looms like a dark cloud over your head. You dread it because it is an exhausting and emotional day. Move-in day is terribly hard work. It isn’t easy moving your child’s stuff in the heat of summer—no one looks forward to that tiring and sweaty day. But it is also emotionally exhausting, too. That lump forms in your throat and tears spill out of the corners of your eyes just thinking about it. So you add really big sunglasses to your check-list. You don’t want to cry in front of your college kid, and will do your best to wait till you are in the car on your way home.

If you are a mom of a college kid, you worry a lot. About the big stuff . . . tuition bills, frat parties, passing classes, late nights, driving long distances, dating, their future. Praying constantly that they are safe and making good choices.

If you are a mom of a college kid, it might help to get a puppy or a kitten. They will love you unconditionally, never talk back and always be there on those lonely days. 

If you are a mom of a college kid, then your dining room might be a mess . . . stacked with Amazon boxes, dorm decorations and school supplies as you prepare for move-in day. 

If you are a mom of a college kid, your heart might be breaking knowing that your child is leaving in a month. And that’s OK—many of us mid-life mamas feel this way. This stage of life is hard and it’s okay to admit it. You are going to miss seeing your child—even if they drive you crazy. You will dread walking by their empty room and not seeing them sprawled across their bed every day. You will grieve and you will cry and you will feel sad and worried and heartbroken. All normal—and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But the good news is . . . you will also feel happy and proud and excited for them. Such a bittersweet mix of emotions—and you wonder how it is possible to feel both heartbroken and thrilled at the same time. But you will survive—because you are stronger than you think—and each day will get a little easier. And I promise that reunion will be sweet and that hug will be the best thing ever when your child comes home for their 1st visit!

If you are a mom of a college kid . . . you are not alone! You raise your sweet babies to leave you, but no one ever told you how hard that would be. And even though you might feel like an emotional, hot mess right now, your heart swells with pride, knowing you did your best at giving your child roots and wings. And although you made so many mistakes, you did the best you could as their mother. You loved, you prayed, you showed up, you cried, you cheered, you encouraged and you were simply there for it all. And thank goodness none of that stops when your child goes to college . . . because a mama’s love never ends no matter how old they get!

Jeremiah 29:11

This article originally appeared on Love, Faith & Chaos

You may also like:

The Kids May Be Grown, But Mom Is Still Their Home

Dear Mom, This is What I Need You To Remember Now That I’m a Teenager

When Your Little Boys Aren’t Little Anymore, This is What You Can Look Forward To

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Heather Duckworth

I am a wife & mother to 5 awesome kids, 4 on earth and 1 in Heaven. From having triplets, to losing a child to cancer, to adopting – I have experienced about every joy, challenge & heartache of motherhood. I often write about family, faith & the crazy chaos that is my life.

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids
Family sitting on porch

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids
Robotics kid watching competition

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

In: Kids
Hand holding young child's hand

Sometimes foster care looks like bringing a child from a hard place into your home. Sometimes it looks like sitting at a ball field with a former foster love’s mom and being her village. He’s the one who has brought me to my knees more times than my own children. He’s the one I lie awake at night thinking about. He’s the one I beg the father to protect. He’s the one who makes me want to get in the trenches over and over again. It’s our Bubba. So much of the story is not mine to tell, but the...

Keep Reading

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

In: Kids
Child writing on preschool paper

When we decided to give our preschooler another year before kindergarten, I thought the hardest part would be explaining it to other people. I was wrong. The hardest part was the afternoon her teacher asked to talk. In that split second in the pick-up line, my heart sank. I assumed the worst. I braced myself for a conversation about behavior, about something we had somehow missed, about whether her strong personality was causing problems. Instead, it became the moment that confirmed what we already knew. We were not holding her back. We were giving her time. Our daughter is bright....

Keep Reading

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

In: Kids
Little boy running in field

My life changed on that beautiful autumn day. The thing is, nothing really happened. Not really. My life kind of went on as usual. A fly on the wall might even say it was a great day. I brought my 3-year-old son to an animal farm for a Halloween event. He was quirky as usual and a bit ornery that day. Aloof. “Come feed the baby animals,” I pleaded. No, thank you. Crowds of excited children? Absolutely not. Buckets of candy? You can keep them. My heart ached watching my beautiful, blonde-haired boy wander into a field alone, away from...

Keep Reading

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

In: Kids
Two people running up from the water at the beach

Last night I watched an episode of Shrinking. If you haven’t jumped into the series yet, it’s one of those that hits the heart hard- at least for me. The episode centered on the birth of a baby, while one of the characters grappled with the closing years of life. Spoiler alert: as the elder of the group cradled this new life in his arms, bridging generations across the hospital room, the moment of realization of how fast life goes hit like a ton of bricks. “Enjoy the ride, kid.” The final words of this episode are sitting with me,...

Keep Reading

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

In: Kids, Motherhood
Boy sitting in middle of toys smiling

With four kids at three different schools, our days are full. Between sports practices, music lessons, clubs, rehearsals, games, meets, and playdates, it feels like we’re constantly heading somewhere. I love that my children are involved in activities, but occasionally, it’s nice to have some downtime. When I get a text or email that a practice has been canceled, it’s usually a huge relief. Last week, after-school sports were cancelled due to heavy rain. When I picked up my youngest son from school, I told him we’d be going straight home for the rest of the afternoon. He looked surprised....

Keep Reading

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

In: Kids, Motherhood

I have a confession: Yesterday I let my 11-year-old play with fire. Like literally. We live in the country, there is still wet snow on the ground, and he’s done it with his dad at least 20 times. But yesterday was the fifth consecutive day of no school, and probably the twentieth consecutive day of him asking to have a small fire without dad. Part of me did it out of laziness. Part of me did it out of selfishness. And part of me did it out of nostalgia. Here’s the thing—when I was 11, I was already babysitting (like...

Keep Reading

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

In: Kids
Big brother and little sister smiling at each other

He doesn’t remember the day she came home.But she has never known a world without him. From the beginning, he was there first. The first to reach for her hand. The first to explain the rules. The first to decide what was fair and what absolutely was not. He didn’t know he was being assigned a role. He just stepped into it. Big brother. She followed him everywhere. Into rooms she technically wasn’t invited into. Into games she didn’t fully understand. Into stories she insisted on hearing again and again. She wanted to do what he did, say what he...

Keep Reading