When you hear someone say they are a housewife, there are quite a few images that could pop into your mind – a cute little 50’s wife similar to the likes of June Cleaver, a woman walking around in a maid costume dusting/polishing the furniture, or a housewife of the Beverly Hills kind that ponders the purchase of $80K earrings. I assure you I am none of these.
If you’re thinking of a woman in her gym clothes with little to no makeup and wet hair pulled on top of her head, that’s a very close picture of what you might see on the regular in this house. Very early on in our dating life, actually before we were even official, my husband asked me what I thought about being a stay at home wife. In our world today, many women easily buck up against this. However, his questioning made my heart leap with joy.
It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to be, you see. When I was interviewed for a credit union position in 2012, the supervisor asked me the typical interview question – “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Instead of pulling out all of the stops and aptly responding with “I want to be where you’re sitting- President,” I instead responded what was true to my heart – “I want to be a wife and mom, staying at home.” I have never wanted to climb the corporate ladder. I’ve never wanted to sit in the President’s chair being the President. I’ve never wanted anything more than to be a wife and to be a mother. Needless to say I got the job. Back to Jeremy. Here I was talking with a man who was ready to allow me to be a wife only, if that’s what I wanted and we were to make it to marriage.
Do I think it’s wrong for a woman to work or have a career? Absolutely not. But I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman being a housewife. Believe me when I say this – I wear more hats and work more jobs as a wife than I’ve ever done before. I’m a chef. I’m a wife. I’m a housekeeper. I’m a travel agent. I’m a psychologist. I’m a comedian. I’m an accountant. I’m a cheerleader. I’m a hostess. My husband often says this house wouldn’t run if I weren’t around.
As I’ve begun to settle into this role of staying at home as a wife, it’s been hard. It’s hard to settle into a role you were created for when the world demands something else of you as a woman. It’s hard to shut out those voices and lies the enemy feeds me that I’m only something if I’m bringing in a pay check and working my career and obtaining accolades. I actively fight the gross lie of having no value because I’m at home doing my husband’s laundry. How can something I wanted so badly and brings joy be so hard?
It’s because we are conditioned to believe that staying at home as a wife is less than. The struggle is real. Generations before us led us to believe that it is more esteeming to work for a man or woman we don’t know and bend over backwards for them rather than cooking a meal for our husband whom we love, who is our forever, who is our one. It’s because the role God intended for woman to have from the very beginning in the garden has been distorted and twisted to where we now think on “serving our husband” as being a servant. We have easily exchanged the Truth for a lie and have been led to believe the lie. It was never meant to be this way until sin and rebellion entered the world. For now, we don’t see as He does. But His transforming work in our lives is returning us to the intended roles He meant for man and woman.
I’m a housewife because the finances of our household allow me to stay at home. I’m a housewife because my husband has honored my decision to want to stay at home and serve my family (right now me and him). I’m a housewife because I have the best “boss” ever and sleeping with the boss can’t be the water cooler talk because we are married. But the most important reason I’m a housewife is because when the Lord brought my husband into my life and asked me to be his wife, I knew it meant serving him and loving him well by staying at home. In this capacity am I best able to submit myself to my husband as he loves me and gives himself up for me like Christ does the church.
I’m a housewife. I’m a housewife in my gym clothes. I’m a housewife who runs this household like a tightly run cruise liner. I’m a housewife, and I couldn’t imagine being anything else – except for maybe a mom one day (obviously).
PS- Have no fear, I often straighten my hair and put on make up when the time is right.