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Are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t clumsily caught your child after throwing them foolishly high in the air, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t accepted a whimsical request from a child only to find out you’ve just completely undermined their mother, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t pretended to be outraged that the baby changer is only found in the women’s bathroom while trying not to look a smug jerk passing your smelly baby over to your partner, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t volunteered to carry one or more of your kids during a walk before instantly regretting it, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t been praised by an old woman for merely taking care of your children without their mother, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t been a victim of the statement, “They get that from you,” are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t actively encouraged rough play before getting an unforeseen blow to the crotch, are you even a Dad?

RELATED: Dads, You’ve Got to Protect Yourself From Your Kids

If you haven’t rolled a ball to your kid in the garden to see what foot they kick it with, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t exposed your buttcrack to your neighbors trying to fit a car seat in, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t Dad-danced to the horror of your kids, partner, and everyone on planet Earth, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t blamed your children for everything you’re now a bit bad at, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t indoctrinated your kids into liking your favorite sports team, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t photographed one of your kids “drinking” from an empty beer bottle, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t gone to the wrong door during the school pick-up, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t bored your friends with stories about your offspring when drunk in some dive nightclub, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t downplayed how perilous something ridiculous you just did with the kids was to the mother of your children, are you even a Dad?

RELATED: Dear Wife: I’m Sorry For Taking You For Granted

If you haven’t flooded the bathroom when in charge of bathtime, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t gotten stuck in some sort of soft play apparatus, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t shouted at your kids in a completely nonsensical way and realized you’ve turned into your own father, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t started a ridiculously complicated LEGO set only for your kid to lose interest and you to carry on regardless, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t spent extra long taking the recycling out just to give yourself a break, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t ever looked at your children and said to yourself, “How the f**k did I play a part in creating something so marvelous?” are you even a Dad?

Secret Dad Lad

Dad attempting to keep this parenting thing as light-humoured as possible. When I use really big swear words in posts I use plenty of **s, don't worry.

My Dad Showed Me the Greatest Lessons Are Taught Through Example

In: Fatherhood
grandpa holding donut box with grandson

Waiting at the window, I arranged the blue ruffles on my brand new dress and flipped my hair around to look just right. It was a night to be fancy. It was my first date. My face was flushed as I looked forward to the night ahead. I knew it was a big deal to be taken out and I would get special treatment. I would pick the restaurant and maybe we would have some ice cream and walk around downtown before the sun went down. After that, I was pretty sure we could go to the store and that...

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It Doesn’t Matter How Old I Am—I’ll Always Need My Daddy

In: Fatherhood, Grown Children, Living
Vintage photo of little girl on bike with her dad

I have always been a Daddy’s girl, much to my mom’s frustration.  She always said my dad and I were wired the same, and that’s why it’s always just “worked.” Sure, we have had our struggles and frustrations—when two people think almost the exact same way, certainly there will be battles. But my dad has always had my back, without fail.   Whether he had to question a school decision or staff my senior class retreat (yes, my dad is featured in my high school yearbook), I knew he would be there. He thought he would lose me someday, that having...

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I’m Just a Little Boy, but Daddy You’re Teaching Me How to Be a Man

In: Fatherhood, Marriage
Daddy on the floor playing with son, color photo

I’m only a little boy, still too young to tie my own shoes or make my own breakfast. My days are filled with playtime, snacks, lots of hugs from Mommy, and plenty of tickles from you, Daddy. Right now, my life revolves around me and you and Mommy. I don’t know much about the world outside our home yet. I haven’t learned about responsibility or self-discipline or sacrifice. I haven’t had to find my place in the world yet. But I guess I’m pretty lucky because even though you may not know it, you’ve already begun teaching me everything I...

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You’re the Father You Never Had and I’m So Proud of You

In: Fatherhood, Marriage
Dad and kids walking on beach

Can I tell you about my husband? He’s amazing. He’s kind and doting and loves Jesus, but perhaps his most endearing trait is the absolutely incredible father he is.  In our early days of dating, he was crippled by the fear of what type of father he would be. To him, fatherhood was burdensome, grumbling, abandonment, and fighting for the final dollar during tax season. His experience as a son crippled his anticipation as a father.  But I knew it all along—what an incredible dad he would be. Although I must admit, he has often far surpassed what I even...

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To the Stay At Home Mom From Your Husband: I See You

In: Fatherhood, Marriage

To the woman who sacrificed her comfort zone—leaving her family, friends, and everything she’d ever known—to follow her new husband across the country for his job: I see you. To the wife who pours herself into making a house her home, only to have to move again: I see you. To the wife who put her career, education, and personal pursuits on hold for the sake of her family: I see you. To the mom who went through pain and misery for nine months, only to have motherhood turn out to be nothing like she’d dreamed and longed for it...

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I Struggled With My Son’s Diagnosis, But Found Hope in the Special Needs Community

In: Fatherhood, Tough Times

When I found out I was going to be a father I was beyond excited. My wife and I had been trying to conceive for years before she got pregnant. So, when she told me I was going to be a father I wanted to shout it to the rooftops! I made sure to call my wife every day at work to make sure she ate lunch. I’m sure I annoyed the heck out of her. We later found out that we were having a boy, and started to plan everything. We started to paint the baby room with blues...

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My Son is Growing Up, But I’ll Hold On To the Pictures Forever

In: Fatherhood

A certain part of my heart longs for these moments to never change. I look back on pictures like this one, where my oldest son tastes the salty breeze on his lips for the first time, feeling the sand underneath his toes and laughing out loud at this wholly new experience. I look back and want to freeze it, but in something more than a single picture, more solid than a flimsy memory, more lifelike in substance than what a camera can fashion. RELATED: Stay With Me a Little Longer, Daddy Because that little person who could not stand without...

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I Want My Sons to See How Important It is to Cover Your Wife

In: Fatherhood, Marriage

Transparent moment—I did not always do the best job of covering my wife. Early in our marriage, I was often guilty of being selfish. Our first of four childbirths had contentious moments. From the whistle I jokingly wore on our first trip to the hospital while she was in labor, to me telling her in the midst of her frustration that if we didn’t have the baby that night, she could decide if she’d go into work the next day—I’m not proud of the way I handled some of the challenges. RELATED: 5 Ways To Love Your Wife After the...

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Dads: Your Kids Love Doing Things Because They Get to Do Them With You

In: Fatherhood

This piece was co-written with the author’s husband, Nathan Glenn. I remember my husband taking our daughter golfing for the first time and wondering if she’d enjoy it like he did. He’d dress our kids up in Pittsburgh gear, hoping they’d love the Steelers and Pirates and Penguins as much as he does. When we imagined our someday kids, he hoped he’d have someone that would want to play catch with him and go sit on the banks for hours fishing. Now here we are over a decade into this parenting three thing, and our oldest has her own clubs...

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This British Dad’s Parody of Orlando Bloom’s Daily Routine Has Us Cracking Up

In: Fatherhood

Two men on the same parenting journey see things a bit differently. Read to the end for this British dad’s hilarious take on what it’s like to be a father if you’re not a famous A-list celebrity. Ever since his cinematic debut as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings film series, celebrity actor Orlando Bloom has been capturing hearts around the world. Let’s be honest, we all know why our wives were so excited when Pirates of the Caribbean hit theatres. Outside of fantasy, there’s not much that makes Mr. Bloom relatable to the average Joe. However, parenthood tends...

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