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Answering the tough questions

Written by Tiffany Verzal

Written By:  Tiffany Verzal

When Leslie first asked me about writing for “Her View From Home”, I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach my weekly blog.  I shared my concern with her, and she immediately said, “Oh, you are going to be able to tell what your readers want.”

I really had plans to go little-by-little through the entire story of Alexis’ injury.  As I prepared earlier this spring I went through every single carepages post, you tube video, and photo that we had.  It took about two days and it was difficult for me.  However, it gave me an even stronger appreciation for her recovery, and I was brought to my knees by the amount of prayers that I knew had been answered.  I was sure that I knew the direction I was going.

But with most projects like these, I end up with things to talk about that had more to do with the present than the past.  It’s easier for me. Over the last three years there have been some pretty dark times, and ones I would prefer not to re-live.

I’ve told her story a hundred times.  Each time it has a different effect on me.  Sometimes sadness, bitterness, pride, joy, relief, love, forgiveness, hope, and yes, anger.  I never know what emotion is going to pop up as the words flow out of my mouth.

As I shared in one of my first posts, I finally felt like I had turned a corner.  I didn’t feel like that “one day” loomed over my shoulder.  And as much as I have moved on, that day has also defined me.  My views, beliefs, and attitude has changed dramatically since she was injured.

The last several weeks I have spent the entire seven days mulling over a topic that wouldn’t have anything to do with her injury.  I don’t want people to feel sorry for us.  I don’t want readers to be annoyed that her injury is all that I can write about.  But the truth of the matter is that her injury changes our life every day.  So as you can see, I just don’t think that a non-injury post is going to happen anytime soon.

What I want to do over the next four weeks is to answer most people’s burning questions (not necessarily in this order).

  1. What happened to the daycare provider?
  2. Have you forgiven her for doing that to your child?
  3. What do you think about daycare?
  4. Are you going to have any other children?

Yup, four whole weeks of some heavy topics that I have now forced myself to write about.  I am not looking forward to it.  Hopefully I will come out of the other side of this with more faith, and something about it tells me I will.

I’ve been waiting for the right time to share these things.  I never thought I would do it back-to-back…but this is what my heart is telling me to do.  Maybe someone out there needs it…

I have some favors to ask the readers over the next several weeks.

First and foremost, be easy with your comments.  I know that there are things that are going to make people burn inside.  I’ve worked really hard to get past that type of anger.  It doesn’t help.  What helps is to keep an open mind and tell this story to others so it doesn’t happen again.

Second, please remember that our family has been very blessed in this circumstance, and I know it.  There are so many others that have lost their children, or never get the same amount of their child back as we have.  Yes, this story is heartbreaking, but don’t lose sight of the many others who are suffering.

Third, these are my opinions based on my life experiences.  Everyone has the right to their own point of view.  I am happy to have comments, but please be kind to one another.  I’ve watched chat boards blow up with ugliness…and I think all of us are above that.

Lastly, please share these pieces of information over the next few weeks.  Stick them in the back of your mind, and use this as an opportunity to possibly change the life of a child. 

About the author

Tiffany Verzal

Tiffany Verzal was raised in rural Nebraska, and now lives in Lincoln, Nebraska with her husband Brandon and daughter Alexis (9) and Abby (2). In 2008, Alexis (then 14-months-old) was the victim of shaken baby syndrome at the hands of her daycare provider in Texas. Alexis suffered severe brain damage and has spent over 2000 hours in rehabilitation since her injury. Tiffany continues to raise awareness for traumatic brain injury, shaken baby syndrome and child abuse. Brandon and Tiffany serve as members on Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital’s Board of Trustees. Brandon is currently the Chairman of the Nebraska Child Abuse Prevention Fund Board.

5 Comments

  • Dear Tiffany,
    Thanks so much for writing about your story. I feel it is so important to get it out there so everyone can understand just what it means to take care of a child. I’m sending you good vibes of love, to you and Alexis, today and everyday.

  • Hey Lady,

    We are still following you! I’m so proud of you and yours. I believe I will follow for as long as you write.

    Robyn Donner
    Coming home for Haydays!!! 😉

  • Tiffany, I’ll be holding you in my mama heart as you write about these difficult topics. Each time I write about what we went through with my son Joey who was lost to cancer, I get the biggest response. It touches something deep within us as parents. And, no, I don’t think pity is the only thing people are feeling for you. They are admiring your strength and courage, and drawing their own from you. Hugs and prayers are with you!

  • You are an amazing family and that is one beautiful little girl!! I enjoy reading your posts. I pray for continued healing for Alexis and for you and your husband. God is doing some amazing work through you all.