They whispered to her: You cannot withstand the storm.
I have had days when the storms hit me while I sat on the shower floor with my knees to my chest feeling completely defeated, letting the hot water beat down on my body.
I have had nights when the storms hit me as tears stained my pillow.
As time has moved on, I am learning how to beat the storms. This is only possible because of the family and friends that God has brought into my life.
This is my fight song. These are and have been my take back my life songs.
When the storms seemed to have no end in sight, these songs have carried me through my fight. Each song represents the strength and hope from faith, family, and friends that have carried us through a journey when I had to find myself again in a new chapter of my life. While taking back my life, I have become a stronger woman and a better mother.
When I unexpectedly became a single mother, I remember walking in a fog, sometimes not sure if it was day or night. Another single mom friend of mine referred to this phase as feeling like you are on a movie set, you go through the motions, but you are not really present.
During this initial phase of shock, Lauren Daigle’s song “Rescue” carried me through. I leaned into her song and was reminded that God sends out people to find us and rescue us. God did.
From day one, God has sent my family, friends, and church support, who have walked our journey with us hand in hand. I would not be standing as strong as I am now if it were not for them. They have reminded me who I am, lifted us up with prayer, built back my confidence, given me a mama bear voice, and brought a genuine smile and joy back into my life.
Growing up, I remember my dad listening to the song “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers. The chorus has helped me in times when I have needed to make a tough decision, “you got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” As I deal with upcoming challenges, the chorus helps me prioritize what is worth fighting for—even when those targets may be moving.
My kids are my world. They are my number one priority. Blake Shelton’s song “God Gave Me You” is another example of why I am so thankful for my children. Just as God chose me to be their mom, He also gave me my children for the ups and downs. When I think I have lost my way, I know who I need to keep fighting for.
Becoming a single mother meant that I had to start over. As Chris Stapleton’s song “Starting Over” says, “it don’t matter to me wherever we are is where I wanna be . . . I can be your lucky penny, you can be my four-leaf clover, starting over.” Although starting over was scary, it is a new opportunity to rediscover myself and create new opportunities and memories with my kids.
These songs in my anthem were sent to me by my siblings. My sister shared with me “I Lived” by OneRepublic and my brother sent me “My Way” by Aloe Blacc. Whenever I hear these songs, I know I need to find myself again. I have been a mother for over 10 years, and most of those years were spent as a stay-at-home mama. I need to find what makes me who I am again, living every moment to the fullest while doing it my way.
None of my strength and hope would have been possible if it were not for my family, friends, and faith holding us up. “Raise a Hallelujah” by Bethel Music teaches me that God shows up in the presence of my enemies, Heaven comes to fight for me, and up from the ashes, hope will arise! This fills my heart with hope for our future.
Sia’s “Unstoppable” is a song that shows me I need to put my smile on even when faced with challenges. When I look back on challenges I have faced, I know I already have and will continue to put my armor on and become unstoppable. I need to do this for myself and to set an example for my sons.
The fire that burns in my heart is stronger than the fires that burn around me.
Music has given me hope in the storms.
“I am the storm,” she whispered back.