To the Waiting Adoptive Parent, I See Your Strength

Dear waiting adoptive parent,

I see you as you check your phone and e-mail too many times a day, wondering if you missed any messages from the adoption agency about potential matches for you.

I see you when you finally take your mind off of the waiting for a while, only to have someone ask if you have heard anything from the adoption agency. You know they are trying to be supportive  You just wish they realized you will tell them when you have news.

I see you as you wonder who you should tell you are waiting for adoption, or if you get a match. If you have an adoption match that doesn’t go through, you don’t want to go through the pain of answering questions from lots of people.

I see you as you wonder what you can commit to. Can you really go out of town for a vacation a few months from now? What about that volunteer opportunity that is a full year commitment? You don’t want to put your life on hold, but what if you get the call you have an adoption match soon?

I see you when you are feeling guilty. You are hoping so badly to be matched with a baby and for an adoption to go through. At the same time, you recognize if you become a parent through adoption, it is because your child’s birth mom and dad were in a situation where they were unable to raise a child. You know that if they figure out a way to parent and the adoption falls through, it is a huge blessing for them. It’s just that your heart is so fragile after all you’ve been through waiting for a baby, whether it be through failed infertility treatments, miscarriages, adoptions that didn’t work out, or a combination of any of those. You don’t know if you can handle one more disappointment.

I see you wondering how you are going to get everything done if you get an adoption quickly. Truth be told, all adoptions are quick. Whether you match early on in the pregnancy or after the child is born, at any time up until the birth parents make their final decision, this adoption may not go through. You haven’t been stocking your house with baby items like you would during a pregnancy, because you can’t bear the thought of going through returns or having them sit around your house as a reminder of what could have been if you don’t bring home a baby.

I see you wondering if you are strong enough for this journey if you are blessed to adopt a little one. You know no matter how much your sweet little child loves you, he or she will have questions one day. You hope and pray you will be able to answer them all in a way that gives them comfort, but know there likely will be questions you may not be able to answer.

I also see that God did make you strong enough or you wouldn’t be on this journey. He put adoption in your heart because he knew you were capable. He knows the love you have to give and how brave you are to be taking on this unknown journey.

I see why the adoption agency you are working with also saw you are a great fit for adoption. Do you remember all the work you did for your home study? All the classes, paperwork, references, home visits, and interviews? They spent a lot of time making sure you were a fit for this journey.

I see how you carry hope in your heart every day. You know that today could be the day you get that match call that changes your life forever.

Most of all, I see what a wonderful parent you will make.

You may also like:

To My Adopted Baby: You Saved Me

3 Things We Learned While Waiting For Our Adopted Child

4 Things a Birth Mom Wants Adoptive Families To Know

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Articles by Kimberly Keys

Kimberly Keys

Kimberly is a stay-at-home mom to her precious son who joined our family through the miracle of adoption. She loves exploring parks with him around her hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. She previously worked in IT for 12 years. Using her IT experience, she's written for Zapier's Engineering blog and ghost written for clients of Codeless about project management. She is always looking for new writing opportunities!