A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Decision Making Exhausts Me as an Overthinking Mom

4 Minute Read

By Jennifer Bailey

Woman with hand on head — fizkes/Shutterstock.com

Logistically, a lot goes into being a parent. To sum it all up, parenthood is a constant state of decision making.

I have been weighing the pros and cons, benefits and risks, and costs and rewards from the moment my son was born. I agonize for hours, days, weeks even over the simplest of decisions. I am paranoid beyond belief to make a wrong choice for my kids.

Truly, I’m an overthinker. I can’t commit to a decision due to fear of the unknown.

Did I research this enough? Me, every time I’m faced with a choice for my child.

What if I mess up? Also me, deciding on anything for him.

RELATED: My Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I Fail Over and Over Again

Here’s a sneak peek into my brain, and nearly every other mother’s during the day:

Is this mattress OK for him? Is this baby food produced organically enough? Is this car seat installed correctly, scratch that, is this even the best car seat for my child? Is our bedtime on track with the pediatric guidelines? Should he have more protein? Can he jump from that or should I intercept this fun with my anxiety? Is my child too hot? Too cold? Should we cry it out, or perhaps try the Ferber method? Should we try soccer or baseball? Should we pull him out if he isn’t having fun? He just hit me, do I yell, ignore it, enact a timeout? Should I order the chicken fingers or spaghetti for him at the restaurant? Waiter, please come back in a few minutes after I’ve asked my son 10 times and checked my own snack bag in case the dish is instantly rejected.

The day my son was born, boom—choices!

I was mentally fried and physically traumatized and hospital staff hit me with breastfeeding, vaccinating, circumcising, and bathing choices.

Oh my gosh, did I bathe him too early? Dr. Google tells me I made a colossal mistake.

Every day I am beside myself with what to do. So much so I am paralyzed by decision making. I can’t make up my mind in the moment unless I have sat on the options for long enough to credit my mind with the ability to decide. In all fairness, this isn’t just related to child-rearing. Those Buzzfeed articles where you pick your favorites? Not meant for those with decision fatigue. However, all the choices I take on as a mother are costing me my peace of mind.

RELATED: A Mother’s Mind Never Rests, Because We Carry The Mental Load

My husband short circuits my indecisiveness so we can move forward with our daily plans. There has to be a biological explanation for why mothers are overly cautious with their choices for their kids. We don’t want to make a mistake with a tiny human—we are trying to do our very best.

We can’t predict the future, though we wish we could receive affirmation our choices will all work out in the grand scheme of things.

I find decisions difficult, stressful, and overwhelming. Meanwhile, my child is making them left and right. I want him to. After all, I want our children to learn lessons, too. If they make a wrong decision, they will learn from their mistakes. If they chose wisely, they will achieve high levels of self-esteem and confidence in their own decision-making skills. I’m trying to raise a good decision maker while I struggle with this skill internally.

RELATED: The Painful Truth I’m Hiding As a Mom With Anxiety

I take all these possible decisions to bed with me and wake mentally tired as my brain was weighing choices while I wasn’t even cognizant of it.

I’m a mom, and I am exhausted by decision making.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jennifer Bailey

Stay at home mom enjoying one little boy and navigating parenting one trip to Target at a time.

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise. From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

In: Motherhood

It’s only the second week of summer, and, thanks to modern-day social media, I feel like I’ve already seen it all. Picture-perfect beach getaways, color-coded bucket lists, backyard neighborhood movie nights, you name it. And if I’m being honest, I’ve already caught myself wondering if I’m doing enough. More than once, at that. As a solo mom of two, I’m still adjusting to our new norm while trying desperately to delicately let go of any expectations tied to all of our past experiences…including summer vacations. I’m reminding myself that our summers won’t look like they used to. At least not...

Keep Reading

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood

I’m not breastfeeding my baby. I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on, I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing. And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions, but was satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do. A similar situation also happened with my first. She didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone, so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

In: Motherhood

When my last sibling moved out of the house, I watched my mom struggle in a quiet, almost unspoken way. It wasn’t something dramatic or visible; it was something I could feel in her presence. For 40 years, her life had revolved around taking care of us—my siblings and me. Every season of her life had been shaped around our needs, our schedules, our milestones, and our growing up. Being a mom wasn’t just something she did. It was who she was—the structure of her days, the cadence of her thoughts, and the center of her purpose. So when the...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

I May Let Go of the Baby Things, but I’ll Hold the Memories Forever

In: Baby, Motherhood

Woman looking through closet of baby items

It’s easy to think of multiple sayings and mottos about how invaluable earthly possessions are. “It’s not what you have, but who you share it with” “Worry less about things and more about experiences” “Who cares what you have, you can’t take it with you when you go” And trust me, I know these to be true. I am not a hoarder of hotel pens or mini shampoo bottles or every receipt and coaster from my favorite restaurants. I don’t care much for name-brand shoes or designer purses, yet there are a few things I just can’t easily let go...

Keep Reading

Mom Showed Us Love that Lasts

In: Motherhood

Vintage photo of mother and three young kids

We moved a few years ago, and we had a closet that needed some reworking. In doing so, my husband found some old photos. He pulled out an album that held this vintage photo of my mom, my sisters, and me. It was probably circa 1983 when prints were made from Kodak. I actually don’t remember seeing the photo before. But I love it. In the photo, my mother’s eyes are shut with a blink because those were the days when blinks weren’t edited. It’s beautiful, and I can’t stop thinking about the captured connection. She was showing us something...

Keep Reading

This Is How I’m Raising My Sensitive Son

In: Motherhood

When I was pregnant with my son, everyone warned me of what was to come. “Just you wait,” they’d say with an underlying schadenfreude, “you’ll never sleep again.” I fully expected sleep-deprived days and long, unrelenting nights, calming my son down from tantrums, trying to keep the peace with my marriage. But I got lucky—my son sleeps through the night, doesn’t throw tantrums, and my marriage is stronger than ever. I didn’t expect that, especially because I struggle with my own mental health and assumed I’d be in the weeds during my postpartum period. Now that my son is almost...

Keep Reading

In Pandemic Parenting, What if There is No Good Choice?

Motherhood

In Pandemic Parenting, What if There is No Good Choice?

Dear Husband Struggling With Depression

Marriage

Decision Making Exhausts Me as an Overthinking Mom

Truly, I’m an overthinker. I can’t commit to a decision due to fear of the unknown.

RELATED: My Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I Fail Over and Over Again

I was mentally fried and physically traumatized and hospital staff hit me with breastfeeding, vaccinating, circumcising, and bathing choices.

RELATED: A Mother’s Mind Never Rests, Because We Carry The Mental Load

We can’t predict the future, though we wish we could receive affirmation our choices will all work out in the grand scheme of things.

RELATED: The Painful Truth I’m Hiding As a Mom With Anxiety

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Jennifer Bailey

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

I May Let Go of the Baby Things, but I’ll Hold the Memories Forever

Mom Showed Us Love that Lasts

This Is How I’m Raising My Sensitive Son

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Decision Making Exhausts Me as an Overthinking Mom

Truly, I’m an overthinker. I can’t commit to a decision due to fear of the unknown.

I was mentally fried and physically traumatized and hospital staff hit me with breastfeeding, vaccinating, circumcising, and bathing choices.

We can’t predict the future, though we wish we could receive affirmation our choices will all work out in the grand scheme of things.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

I May Let Go of the Baby Things, but I’ll Hold the Memories Forever

Mom Showed Us Love that Lasts

This Is How I’m Raising My Sensitive Son

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like