A Gift for Mom! 🤍

We frequently talk with our kids about making good choices. Evaluate the pros and cons, and make the good choice. But what if there isn’t one? What if all the choices just suck? Welcome to pandemic parenting.

Right now, it’s schools. I could send my kids to school for the sake of their mental health. I could keep them home to do virtual school for the sake of their physical health. If I send them to school, I get to have my job. I get my alone time back and my mental health. If I keep them home, we can still see our grandparents. I can reduce their exposure and, therefore, my anxiety. If I send them to school, we get to keep our community and whatever is left of the school activities we love. If they stay home, we are minimizing the effect on our family when schools are inevitably closed for weeks due to an exposure.

There is no good choice.

But it feels like this plays out in everything I do. My mind is flooded with options, and at the end of the list, there is no winner.

If I get a babysitter for a few hours, I can catch up on what is left of my job. If I get a babysitter, I can’t guarantee she isn’t exposing our family.

RELATED: As the School Year Nears, Nothing I Choose Feels Right

There is no good choice.

If I make the trip to Costco, I am adding another possible point of exposure. If I order Costco through Instacart, I am paying so much more for the same items.

There is no good choice.

If I let him go to the class birthday party, I am adding more risk of exposure. If I don’t let him go to the party, he misses out on quality time with new friends yet again.

There is no good choice.

If we take a planned beach vacation with safety precautions including masks and extreme distancing, we get to make memories during a season of endless disappointments. But then we have to quarantine for 14 days when we return and stay isolated from our friends.

RELATED: There Are No ‘Right’ Decisions About School This Year So Please Just Be Kind

There is no good choice.

If I keep all of our regular dentist, doctor, and therapy appointments, we are keeping up on important aspects of our health. But, we’re also adding more points of exposure.

There is no good choice.

If we play at the park, we get some much needed play time outside of our house. If we play at the playground and some kid gets too close, is it worth the risk?

There is no good choice.

COVID-19 has stripped me of my confidence as a parent.

I question every decision, every potential risk and then sit with the guilt of the choice I made, wondering if the next 14 days will make me regret it. We are being asked to be socially responsible and community-focused, while still protecting our own kids’ physical and mental health. And don’t forget about your marriage. Oh, and take care of yourself, too.

All choices come with benefits and risks. But during pandemic parenting, the risks could mean a breakdown in mental health, serious financial consequences, or exposure to a virus that has killed more than half a million people worldwide.

We’re told to make the best decision for our family.

But what if there is no good choice?

This article originally appeared on Kansas City Mom Collective

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Sarah McGinnity

Sarah is a Kansas City mama to three, Enneagram 1 and owner of Kansas City Mom Collective, www.kansascitymomcollective.com. She frequently finds herself in charge of things she doesn't remember signing up for like the school auction, Cub Scout leader, camp volunteer and neighborhood party coordinator. She loves running, sweet tea and traveling, but never to the same place twice. You can follow her on Instagram at @Sarah_mcginnity

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

In: Motherhood
Kids looking at lake in summer

It’s only the second week of summer, and, thanks to modern-day social media, I feel like I’ve already seen it all. Picture-perfect beach getaways, color-coded bucket lists, backyard neighborhood movie nights, you name it. And if I’m being honest, I’ve already caught myself wondering if I’m doing enough. More than once, at that. As a solo mom of two, I’m still adjusting to our new norm while trying desperately to delicately let go of any expectations tied to all of our past experiences…including summer vacations. I’m reminding myself that our summers won’t look like they used to. At least not...

Keep Reading

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother and baby stand by crib

I’m not breastfeeding my baby. I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on, I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing. And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions, but was satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do. A similar situation also happened with my first. She didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone, so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew...

Keep Reading

A Mother’s Love Doesn’t End When Her Kids Move Out

In: Motherhood
Family posing in Time Square

When my last sibling moved out of the house, I watched my mom struggle in a quiet, almost unspoken way. It wasn’t something dramatic or visible; it was something I could feel in her presence. For 40 years, her life had revolved around taking care of us—my siblings and me. Every season of her life had been shaped around our needs, our schedules, our milestones, and our growing up. Being a mom wasn’t just something she did. It was who she was—the structure of her days, the cadence of her thoughts, and the center of her purpose. So when the...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

I May Let Go of the Baby Things, but I’ll Hold the Memories Forever

In: Baby, Motherhood
Woman looking through closet of baby items

It’s easy to think of multiple sayings and mottos about how invaluable earthly possessions are. “It’s not what you have, but who you share it with” “Worry less about things and more about experiences” “Who cares what you have, you can’t take it with you when you go” And trust me, I know these to be true. I am not a hoarder of hotel pens or mini shampoo bottles or every receipt and coaster from my favorite restaurants. I don’t care much for name-brand shoes or designer purses, yet there are a few things I just can’t easily let go...

Keep Reading

Mom Showed Us Love that Lasts

In: Motherhood
Vintage photo of mother and three young kids

We moved a few years ago, and we had a closet that needed some reworking. In doing so, my husband found some old photos. He pulled out an album that held this vintage photo of my mom, my sisters, and me. It was probably circa 1983 when prints were made from Kodak. I actually don’t remember seeing the photo before. But I love it. In the photo, my mother’s eyes are shut with a blink because those were the days when blinks weren’t edited. It’s beautiful, and I can’t stop thinking about the captured connection. She was showing us something...

Keep Reading

This Is How I’m Raising My Sensitive Son

In: Motherhood
Little boy hugs a cat

When I was pregnant with my son, everyone warned me of what was to come. “Just you wait,” they’d say with an underlying schadenfreude, “you’ll never sleep again.” I fully expected sleep-deprived days and long, unrelenting nights, calming my son down from tantrums, trying to keep the peace with my marriage. But I got lucky—my son sleeps through the night, doesn’t throw tantrums, and my marriage is stronger than ever. I didn’t expect that, especially because I struggle with my own mental health and assumed I’d be in the weeds during my postpartum period. Now that my son is almost...

Keep Reading

It’s Time for Us To Start Talking about Menopause

In: Motherhood
Midlife woman selfie

Disclaimer: The information included below is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.   Menopause. Growing up, this was a mysterious subject spoken about in hushed tones. When I approached this transition, I didn’t know what to expect. It began during a dinner with old college friends. Suddenly, I was overcome by heat and nausea. I left early, missing time with friends I rarely see and the beer sampler I ordered. Driving back to the hotel, I realized I had my first major hot flash. This was just the start of unexpected changes. In the following...

Keep Reading

I Didn’t Know You Were My Last Baby When I Had You

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding newborn baby, black and white image

I didn’t know at the time that my last baby would be my last. Those late nights with little sleep. The days that felt so long, yet so full all at the same time. The pain that came with trying to breastfeed and wanting so badly for it to work. Learning who was truly there for you in moments that felt lonely. I didn’t know my body would never feel those first flutters again—or experience the emotional joy of meeting your baby face to face after nine months of waiting. I think that’s why I want so badly to experience...

Keep Reading